Love Song
by taperjeangurl
Summary: Kate has spent the past nine years trying to earn an honest living away from Samcro and her parents, Otto and LuAnn.  When she gets a late-night ultimatum from Clay and Jax, she quickly realizes there's more at stake than just her way of life.  Jax/OC.
1. The Ultimatum

**A/N-**So this was just kicking around in my head and wouldn't leave so I finally decided to write it. Basic set-up: Kate is Otto and LuAnn's daughter; Otto is in jail and LuAnn was killed by George. She doesn't want to have anything to do with her parents' lives or connections, which will inevitably come back and bite her in the ass. I'm leaving Tara out of this one just to keep things from getting overly complicated although Abel (and possibly Wendy) will feature in this at some point.

The title comes from the song "LoveSong" by the Cure but I'll be using the 311 version later on in this story. I'm thinking of it as the anthem for things to come in this story and for the most part, I have most of the details ironed out, which it always a good thing. Btw, the rating will most likely be bumped to M in later chapters...I know this is just set-up for the rest but I hope you like it!

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><p>LOVE SONG<p>

Chapter One

It was almost closing time. She'd finally finished the inventory she'd putting off the entire week and had filed it away in a slightly disorganized hanging folder underneath the dusty counter. Taking a mental note that it was time for that spring cleaning she was, naturally, putting off, she took another anxious glance at the clock. 6:47. Still not time to lock up.

She supposed she'd known what she was signing herself up for when she'd opened up the bookstore. Working 10-7 every day, save for Sundays, wasn't fun by any means. But it was either that or hire an employee, which was something she was in no position to afford. Business was slow but with summer coming, she was praying things might start to turn around. If it didn't, all bets were off and the one thing she had worked for her entire life could easily be swallowed up whole.

Another glance at the clock told her it still wasn't yet time for her to lock up and take the two second trip upstairs to Jake, her golden retriever, re-runs of Law and Order: SVU, and a microwave dinner. But, she reminded herself, that was exactly what she had bargained for. Zero personal life for self-reliance and complete independence. It was a fair trade, at least, most of the time.

She took another quick pass around the store, checking to make sure nothing had fallen out of place since the last time she'd checked and then double-checked that everything was shut off in the café. After that, there was nothing left to do. But, then again, things could always be shittier.

For a fleeting moment, her mind drifted to an image of her parents: her father rotting away in jail for a crime committed on behalf of outlaws, motorcycle club outlaws at that and her mother, who had been found strangled on the floor where she produced porn movies. Yeah. A little boredom on a slow business day was nothing compared to the alternative.

She shook her head as if to shake that image out of her brain. She rarely thought of them and it was strange that she was suddenly thinking of them now, even if she had nothing better to do.

When the low roar of motorcycle engines erupted from underneath the crack of the doorway , it seemed as if everything went still. She couldn't move. Even if she wanted to, she didn't know what the hell to do. A few seconds later, the roaring abruptly stopped and she knew instinctively that it was only a matter of moments before whoever had ridden those bikes here would be entering her store. She went into full-on survival mode, knowing immediately that the reason why those bikers were here, regardless of which club they belonged to, most likely had something to do with her father, which meant a storm of shit would soon be coming down on her. A snap-like reflex went for the handgun underneath the counter and quickly shut off the open sign as her eyes roamed frantically for a hiding spot. Her only real hope of safety was the bathroom. There wasn't any time to call the cops. If even she did, those bikers would have long since finished with her.

A heartbeat later, she was headed for the back of the store as fast as she could without knocking any shelves down. And then, she heard the light trilling of the bell she'd tacked onto the door only months before. Any other time, she'd be jumping with elation at that sound because it meant a customer was there, hopefully to spend money. But now, she wanted to tear that damn bell off the door and smash it onto the heads of whoever was here.

"We're looking for Kate Delaney?" A low, husky male voice called out.

She froze. That accent wasn't Irish or Spanish, which meant whoever the voice belonged to wasn't necessarily one of her dad's enemies. In fact, it was a little familiar.

"Kate?" The voice called out again.

This time, she was beginning to piece together why that voice was so familiar. Before she could stop herself, she slowly turned around on her heel and stared down the long aisle at the voice's owner, Jax Teller, and the tall, grim man standing next to him, Clay Morrow.

"Kate?" Jax repeated slowly, as if he wasn't quite sure who he was seeing.

She bit her lip and slowly nodded. "Yeah."

His eyes widened slightly and he glanced quickly over to Clay, who had the same glimmer of confusion in his grey eyes. It seemed like they were having some sort of conversation, except for the fact that they weren't actually speaking. A moment later, Jax's intense gaze was fixed back on her and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She hadn't been under his gaze in nine years and had forgotten what it felt like. It was completely unnerving. Even from across the store, she could see that he hadn't changed much since the last time she'd seen him. Maybe he was a little bit taller and his cornsilk hair almost grazed his shoulders, and he had a slightly unkempt beard now. But his eyes were exactly the same.

Both men, in their intimidating leather cuts, moved closer to her and were soon mere feet away. One look at Clay's somber, road-beaten face and she instinctively took a slight step back. She looked immediately to Jax, expecting the same fear-inducing stare but instead found a faint glint of kindness, almost softness in his ocean blue eyes. Well, at least one of them wasn't here to murder and/or kidnap her.

When both of their gazes shifted to the handgun gripped tightly at her side, she shrugged and almost loosened her grip.

"You won't be needin' that, Kate." Jax said softly, gesturing to the gun.

"I'm…sorry," she looked down at the gun in her hand. "I wasn't sure who was here and…"

Jax immediately nodded and held up a hand. "Hey, no worries. We get it. There's nothing wrong with packin', especially when you're all by yourself but…I think Clay and I would both feel a lot better if you set it down, especially since neither of us know if you can actually use that thing."

She knew he'd intended it to be a joke but she saw nothing funny about this situation. They wouldn't be here if they didn't either have bad news or they needed something from her. She wasn't sure which was the lesser of the two evils.

Still, she figured it was best to do as they asked and gingerly set the gun down on a nearby bookshelf.

"So…" she started slowly.

"I know you're wondering why we're here," Clay spoke for the first time, his voice rough and gravelly. "And don't worry, this has got nothing to do with your old man. He's fine…as far as we know at least…but that's beside the point…"

As he was speaking, she ironically realized that that thought hadn't even crossed her mind.

"I figured it's best if we skip the small talk," Clay continued firmly. "The club has recently run into some…financial and political issues…if you will, and we're currently in the market for some storage space. We've had a little trouble with our warehouse and need a new, more discreet place to keep our cargo until we find something more permanent."

She swallowed slowly, already feeling bile creeping up her throat. So far, the shit storm she had predicted was well on its way.

Clay paused for a moment, waiting for her to object. When she stood silent, he decided to continue.

"We'd like to move the majority of that cargo into the basement of your store. It's a perfect location for us since you're far enough away from Charming that no one would suspect anything and you'd barely notice we were here. Hell, I could even send a few prospects over to give you a hand for free if you wanted."

"Besides," Jax added with a lop-sided grin, "the last place anyone would expect to see Samcro is in a bookstore."

Both chuckled but a quick glance at Kate told them she was not amused. So, instead of making fun of her business and the way she made her living, they shut up and waited while she tried to make sense of what was happening here.

Several uncomfortable moments passed before she could finally absorb everything that had been said. Of all the reasons she could think of for them to be standing in front of her now, this was not one that had fallen onto that list. It wasn't necessarily an unreasonable request except for the part that involved illegal activity and the part where she wanted absolutely nothing to do with Samcro and the lives they led because of it.

With a clenched jaw, she finally responded: "I'm sorry…but I seem to have missed the part where I was obligated to Samcro."

Jax winced slightly and glanced over to Clay, who had his jaw firmly set and his crossed tightly across his chest.

"I don't have to remind you that…" Clay started.

"That's right," she cut in, "You don't have to remind me. I know exactly who my parents are and in case you haven't figured it out yet, if I wanted to be part of Samcro and everything that it is you guys do on your little bikes, I would be living in Charming and I would be part of Samcro. I am not my father. And I sure as hell am not my mother. I have no interest in the fact that Samcro needs a new warehouse. And I will not be a party to illegal activity."

Jax sighed while Clay ran an uneasy hand over his face. They both shared another glance before Jax bit his lip in slight frustration. She had no idea what was going on between the two of them and she wasn't sure she wanted to find out.

"Listen, Kate," Clay began again. "I didn't wanna have to do this but you owe Samcro a debt."

She couldn't stop the knee-jerk reaction. Her jaw dropped open in shock and she could feel the blood rushing from her face.

"What? No…that's not possible…"

Clay nodded slowly while Jax watched the scene with a hint of sadness in his eyes. It was as if this entire exchange was causing him physical pain and it was difficult for him to maintain any sort of eye contact with her. The minute she looked to him for confirmation, all he could muster was a pained smile and a nod. Then he had to look away.

"Before your dad went to prison, he set up a trust for you on loan from Samcro. If I'm not mistaken, you cashed in on that trust a few years ago to start this nice little store of yours. That means, according to the club, that you owe us. And what we need in return for this nice little store of yours is to use your basement. That's all we're asking."

Her head was spinning and she felt like she needed to sit down. It just didn't make any sense. A trust from Samcro? She didn't know anything about that…except for…

"I was told that money came from a trust my grandparents set up for me when I was born." She whispered finally.

Clay nodded, finally a little kindness in his eyes. "I think Otto knew you'd never take it if you knew where the money really came from."

She sighed and shifted her eyes up to the ceiling. "I guess he was right about that."

There had to some loophole, some way to get around this and get her out of the grasp of Samcro. This was the absolute last thing she needed or wanted and she would be damned if all her efforts to stay away from her parents' lives went to shit. There had to be something.

"Where's the paperwork?" She asked triumphantly, feeling like she had gotten them. She was positive biker outlaws would never leave a paper trail.

Clay gave a soft chuckle and gestured to Jax, who dug an envelope out of a pocket in his cut.

"Smart girl," Clay said as he handed the envelope to her.

Her heart sank as the only out she could think of was smashed. She didn't need to look inside to know what it was but she did just for spite. And there it was. All in black and white, $50,000, signed by both Clay and her dad on September 21, 2004, just one week before he went to prison. He must have known his last job would end badly. The funny thing was that hadn't even been quite enough. She'd still had to take out a $25,000 loan to cover the costs of starting up the café. And paying them back wasn't an option either. She'd have to liquidate everything in the store and she had a feeling they wouldn't give her any sort of reasonable time to do it. She knew enough about Samcro to know not to get her hopes up. Apparently, it seemed like she was always going to be in debt, in one way or another.

"So I don't really have a choice in this, do I?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

For this first time during this uncomfortable exchange, Jax spoke: "Not really, Kate. It will be easier for everyone if you don't fight us on this one."

With a deep sigh, she looked to the ground for strength. "So," she began slowly. "Let me get this straight: you guys store your 'cargo' in my basement here until you find something permanent and then…we're even, just like that?"

Clay nodded with approval. "Just like that."

"So how long can I expect visits from your biker friends?"

Jax smiled good-naturedly at the dig but Clay just snorted.

"You can expect them as long as we need storage space. Look, Kate, it's just like Jax said: all you have to do is cooperate and we'll be outta your hair in no time. As soon as we find a more permanent spot, you never have to see us again."

She cocked an eyebrow their way. "And if I don't cooperate?"

Clay's lips set in a firm line. "That's a card you don't wanna play. Trust me."

There was a moment of thick silence, Clay's veiled threat hanging heavy in the air. Jax shifted uncomfortably in the narrow aisle and chewed on his bottom lip. It was clear he was done with the tension and the blatant animosity between Clay and Kate.

"Ok," he said finally, in an effort to keep the peace. "So here's what's going to happen…I'm gonna crash here tonight—"

"What-" she objected sharply.

Jax held up his hands defensively. "Hold on, hold on…just let me finish, alright? We've got a load of cargo with us that we need to dump and the club decided that I should stay until the next load gets here to keep an eye on everything."

"You mean keep an eye on me."

Jax shook his head. "That's not what I said."

Her eyes lifted to the ceiling and she ran a tired hand through her long blonde hair.

"Might as well have." She muttered wearily under her breath.

As her gaze shifted from Jax's sympathetic eyes to Clay's slightly impatient ones, she was beginning to realize that this was a fight she never had a shot at winning. It was clear she didn't have a choice and it was even clearer that more than just her business depended on her silent cooperation. She was very much aware of the damage Samcro could cause; she'd seen enough of it herself at far too young an age to think any different. And as the gravity of her situation closed in on her, she realized that if she made it out of this with all limbs and organs intact, then she was pretty god-damned lucky.

At this point, that was the best she could hope for. Everything else was at the mercy of Samcro.

Without another word exchanged between them, Jax and Clay retreated back to the small parking lot and the next time she saw them, they each had an oversized rolled-up blanket tucked under their arms. She didn't need to ask, even if she wanted to, because it didn't take a genius to figure out what was hidden away in those blankets. She silently took them down to the basement and went back upstairs before she could see where they stashed their 'cargo'. It was probably best for everyone involved, most importantly her, if she didn't know exactly where they were being hidden.

A slight nagging crept up into her mind and it took all her remaining strength to push it down. Then it came back up again. Shit, all it took was a couple of minutes with two Samcro members and she was already thinking like a criminal, like an accomplice. It was enough to make bile snake up her throat.

She didn't speak to Clay as he left and let out the breath she'd been holding ever since he'd stepped into the store. She felt a hell of a lot better now that he was gone. Even though he'd always been friendly, even kind to her when she was younger, there was something cold about him now that frightened her.

Jax's voice yanked her out of her thoughts..."Kate? Did you hear what I said…?"

She looked up to see him standing a few feet away from her now and wasn't sure how long he'd been there. "What?"

"I said if you're not cool with this I can sleep in the store." He replied simply, as if sleeping on the hard floor of a bookstore was no big deal to him.

"What?" She shook her head. "Why would you do that? If you're going to babysit me, you might as well sleep on the couch. At least you could watch TV."

He shrugged and watched her carefully as she grabbed her discarded handgun from the shelf and headed back up to the front counter.

"Do I want to know why you own a gun?" He called out from behind her.

"Probably not." She answered back curtly without even turning her head back towards him. Well, if she was being completely honest, she wasn't sure she wanted to share that information with him even if he wanted to hear it.

Once the gun was back in its resting place, he silently followed her out the back of the store and up the steep stairway to her apartment. It was awkward having him so close to her like this, like they were old friends or something. They'd never been particularly close but then again, the last time they'd seen each other, she had been 16 and he had been 20. He hadn't had a reason to be all that interested in her then and while he'd never ignored or been unkind to her, he had always treated her like the child she was. She faintly remembered him ruffling her hair with a greasy hand whenever she visited Teller -Morrow or casually asking when he was going to have to start beating the shit out of her boyfriends as he took a long drag from his cigarette when he didn't have an arm draped around his new flavor of the day. And she'd swooned like the 16-year old girl she had been. That part, albeit begrudgingly, she clearly remembered. She couldn't blame her 16 year old self for being hopelessly attracted to him then. It was innocent enough, just a few stolen glances when he wasn't looking, minor cardiac arrest when he found the time to smile at her, and as far as she could tell, it had gone completely unnoticed by him since he'd had much more mature and available meat at his disposable. And in the nine years that had passed, she'd since learned that bad boys were nothing but that-bad.

All this made it even more puzzling as to why he was acting this way now. Why did he care about her now? No one had given two shits about her after her dad went to jail and her mom ended up in rehab and then back in the porn studio. She had a feeling Jax and Clay had been putting on some sort of act with her to get her to cooperate without much of a fight. It was the only way she could rationalize the sympathy reflecting in his eyes.

"So," Jax said softly behind her as they climbed the stairs. "Is there gonna be an angry boyfriend waiting inside to kick my ass?"

She laughed, in spite of her previous thoughts, and shook her head. "No…nothing like that. Just Jake, my dog. I have to warn you though…he doesn't really like guys too much."

"Oh great." She heard him mutter under his breath.

"Yeah…he's a little overprotective."

She heard Jax let out an exasperated sigh from behind her. Smiling at this little victory, she fumbled with the keys a little by the door which sent Jake into a frenzy from inside. A cacophony of low, menacing barking howled from the other side of the door and she heard Jax take a cautious step back.

"Whoa, what kind of dog do you have?" He asked hesitantly.

She just laughed. "A completely harmless golden retriever."

"Golden retriever my ass—that sounds like a damn pit bull or something." Jax replied skeptically. "Damn good guard dog you've got there, though."

"Trust me, I know he sounds tough but he's really just a big lap dog."

"Yeah—I hope so." Jax replied uneasily, running a hand through his overly long hair.

"Wait a second…are you scared of my dog?" She crinkled her forehead in disbelief. There was no way the hardened criminal and motorcycle outlaw was scared of a big baby like Jake.

"What? No. I just don't feel like losing an arm or my dick tonight…no big deal."

She chuckled again and finally found the keyhole. When she pushed open the door, Jake immediately had his front paws on her and even though he technically wasn't supposed to jump up like that, it was a welcome she counted down the minutes for every day. She ruffled his neck and gave him a quick kiss on the top of his head before she pushed his furry yellow body down.

"Hey buddy..." She whispered to him as she pushed further into the dark apartment. She flipped on a light and Jake immediately froze, staring down Jax with a dark glaze in his eyes. She hadn't seen that look in a while, but in his defense, it'd been awhile since Jake had had to deal with a man in their apartment.

Jax, however, seemed to welcome the challenge Jake presented and knelt down with his hand outstretched to the statue-like dog. Kate watched, unable to believe her eyes, as Jake lowered his head and stretched his neck out to get closer to Jax. There was some sort of male dominance thing going on right now that she didn't quite understand and she waited anxiously, almost childishly, for the moment when Jake snapped his jaws at Jax to get revenge on him, and by extension, Samcro, for her present imprisonment.

Much to her dismay, Jake took a hesitant step forward as Jax remained crouched down where he was, waiting. Jake sniffed Jax's hand for a moment, investigating whether this stranger was a friend or foe and still, Jax waited patiently while the dog decided if he was worthy of his trust. Jake continued probing all the scents surrounding Jax and still, Jax waited. Then, Jake looked up at Jax and his long fluffy tail began to sway from side to side. Knowing he had passed the test, Jax reached up with both hands and began to rub behind his ears.

"There you go, boy," he murmured. "Not so tough, are you?"

Jake responded by licking Jax's face.

"Dirty rotten little traitor…" Kate muttered darkly under her breath. She'd been hoping for some sort of confrontation, for Jax to be cowering in a corner while her scary golden retriever bared his teeth to defend her honor. She'd been in this scene before, with other men, but it had played out much differently. Jax had asserted his dominance, apparently, and Jake had decided he was worthy. Go figure. Jax, it seemed, was not the type of guy to cower for anyone and if her normally distrustful and overprotective loyal companion was this easily accepting of him, then this arrangement was going to be even more of a pain in her ass than she'd thought.

This was going to be a long fucking night

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><p><strong>AN-**Oh boy...she's in trouble already and she doesn't even know it yet. At least she's going to put up more of a fight than Jake :) Lots of reviews will definitely motivate me to get the next installment up faster...just saying...R/R!


	2. Explanations and Ruminations

**A/N-**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It definitely motivated me to get this done-and the fact that I don't have a whole lot to do this weekend. But that's beside the point. Anyways...this chapter should provide some more background information and dig into Jax's head a little (sorry about the profanity-it was hard to get into Jax's head and not include swearing, you know?). Let me know if you think I should bump up the rating but for now, I think I'm ok. Enjoy!

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><p>LOVE STORY<p>

Chapter Two

Kate didn't know how to feel. Not only was Jax Teller in her apartment, he was sitting on her couch with her dog's head in his lap. Of all the guys that Jake could finally choose to trust, this was the one? And she'd thought he was so smart…with a wary glance at the happy couple, she stalked off to her bedroom to change out of her work clothes. Once the door was shut behind her, she felt like she finally had some breathing room to absorb everything that had happened that night. It felt like someone was holding her head underwater and she was just beginning to realize that she was going to drown. Not a very optimistic mental picture but she'd learned that optimism could only get a person so far. She was waist-deep in the shit and she had a feeling the shit was just going to keep piling on top of her.

As if her newly discovered debt to Samcro wasn't bad enough, the fact that Jax was in her apartment, on her couch, playing with her dog…she couldn't make sense of it. That wasn't the Jax she remembered. But then again, she'd known the Jax from nine years ago and she had no idea who he was now or what had happened to force him into semi-adulthood. Part of her didn't want to know. It was probably easier that way. Besides, despite that he seemed to be genuinely remorseful for what had just happened, he was still an active member of Samcro—the VP patch on his cut hadn't gone unnoticed by her-which meant he was the exact opposite of what she had been trying to surround herself with for the past nine years.

"Hey, Kate?" Jax's voice called from the living room. "I don't mean to be any trouble but…do you have anything here I can eat?"

She sighed as she pulled a worn t-shirt over her head and opened the door.

"Why do men need to be fed at all hours of the day?" She asked with half-mocking, half-serious exasperation.

He grinned up at her from the couch and shrugged. "Don't know…I just know that I'm starvin'."

"Well," she sighed. "If I'm going to be a prisoner, I might as well be a hospitable one."

The grin slide off his face and he quickly walked around the side of the couch to meet her head-on in the kitchen.

"No one's keeping you prisoner. It's not like that…" He tried to convince her.

"You're not here to keep an eye on the 'cargo', are you Jax? You're here to make sure I didn't call the cops the second you guys left the store. Can't say the thought didn't cross my mind before I found out you invited yourself into my apartment."

"Look…uhhh," he let out a frustrated breath. "I didn't hear that. Look, Kate, I'm trying to help you here…"

"How exactly is this helping me, Jax?" She was confronting him now; the fire she'd previously lost was starting to fan out again.

He reached out and lightly squeezed her shoulder, which only made her tense. He immediately realized his mistake, that they were not friends, not even close, and that he had no business touching her.

"I know it's been awhile and I know some bad shit has gone down in your life but a lot of bad shit has gone down in everyone's life."

"This isn't helping me." She crossed her arms defiantly across her chest.

He was clearly beginning to lose patience with her and raised his eyes to the ceiling for a moment. "Just listen to me…please?"

He waited a beat to see if she would actually oblige him and when she remained silent, he finally continued.

"I don't want to argue with you and I don't want you to be anymore pissed off about this situation than you need to be, ok? Look, I don't like this set-up anymore than you do. The club had other options but this was the more…discreet choice, like Clay said. We'll be able to go in and out unnoticed more easily here and it was an easy fix for a messed-up problem. I pushed for one of the other options but it was a club decision. Tig was supposed to come with us too but I talked the club into letting him stay back."

"Why?" She asked quietly.

"I didn't want you to feel ambushed." He replied simply, with a slight shrug. "I figured if it was just me and Clay, you wouldn't feel like you were being given orders."

She laughed humorlessly as she pulled her hair back into a low pony-tail. "Well, hate to break it to you—but that didn't really work."

He smiled sadly, that sympathetic, kind glint creeping back into his eyes. "I'm sorry about that."

After a long pause, he continued: "And Clay doesn't have any plans to hurt you, Kate. I know he sounded pretty serious back there but it was really just to scare you enough into going along with this without putting up much of a fight."

"Well, that one worked." She spat out acidly.

He stared back at her with a pained expression. "I'm sorry about that too."

She mulled over whether or not to ask him why it mattered, why she suddenly mattered after nine years. She'd never been anything to him but a kid to tease every once in a while. And she figured she might as well have been dead to them, as far as the club was concerned. She understood their need and why they needed her in particular but what she couldn't wrap her head around was why Jax was suddenly taking on the role of noble protector. She didn't need a protector. She had Jake for that.

Instead, she decided to rummage around the kitchen to find him something to eat. That was the less threatening choice.

"Man, I need a drink." She murmured.

"Shit…yeah, I second that. Got anything?" Jax asked anxiously.

She looked back at him for a brief moment and shrugged. "Yeah, but I'm not sure you'll like it."

He scoffed cockily and tilted his head to the side as he watched her move around the kitchen. "Never met a drink I didn't like."

"You like Bloody Marys?" She threw out.

"Are you shittin' me? The only way to get over a hangover is a nice spicy Bloody with a big pickle and some green olives." He replied, a renewed good-natured tone in his voice.

She looked surprised and then starting getting out everything she needed to make the drinks. "Well, good. They're kinda my specialty anyways."

"Specialty?" He seemed confused. "You don't serve drinks down there, do you?"

She laughed and just shook her head. "No…my store isn't that kind of establishment but I'm sure you knew that already… I don't really drink a lot but when I do, it's usually because I had a rough day. And for me, a nice spicy Bloody with a big pickle and some green olives is the only way to get over it."

He grinned and gestured to the glasses in her hand. "Alright…let's see what you got."

He watched in fascination as she mixed up the drinks. It was obvious she'd had a lot of practice and she expertly shook and poured ingredients into each glass like she'd been doing it forever. And for whatever reason, the whole process of making it relaxed her. She felt less on edge with her back to him, where she couldn't see him, could pretend he wasn't there, and that she was just preparing herself an immediate second drink. She looked up briefly from her work when she heard the jingle of Jake's collar move into the kitchen and couldn't hide the scowl that rose onto her lips when Jake dutifully took his place next to Jax.

"Aw, come on now…you jealous that Jake and me are buddies now?" Jax asked with a grin as he bent down to rub the soft fur on Jake's head. The little traitor nuzzled his snout into Jax's hand which only pissed her off more.

"No," she finally responded agitatedly. "It's just that…" She trailed off and leaned away from the counter, her head dipping down in frustration.

"What's wrong, Kate?"

She looked up at him, with his kind blue eyes, no presence of the bad biker boy she'd known before, his hand resting on top of her dog's head, in her kitchen, in her apartment, and it was just more than she could handle. She had finally reached her breaking point.

"I just feel like…like I just lost everything I've been trying to build…like you're my prison guard, watching over me to make sure I don't get into any trouble…" She trailed off. She wanted to ask him if he knew what it was like to have everything so easily ripped away…everything she had been trying to do, every way she had been trying to be independent and honest and good…they'd just come in and taken it all without a second thought.

A moment later her hand slammed down on the counter, causing both Jax and Jake to jump and one of the drinks to tip over.

"Damn it…" she muttered as she grabbed for some towels and bent down to clean up the mess. Before she could stop him, Jax was at her side, reaching for one of the towels in her hand and scooping up some of the spilt ice and tomato juice. She didn't need his help and she certainly didn't want his help but he was there anyway.

When the counter was back in order, they sat there in silence, leaning against the counter next to each other and with nothing to say. Jake's brown eyes moved uneasily between them, like he could sense the tension in the room and trotted over to Kate to lick her hand. She lightly stroked the top of his head and his tail began to wag, even slapping the lower cabinet next to him, because it seemed like she had calmed down a little. That dog knew her way too well.

Jax watched silently, almost curiously, as Jake sat down next to her and licked her hand again. For a moment, there was complete silence in the apartment and for once, that didn't bother her. Sometimes, when it was really just her and Jake, the silence was tough to swallow and she'd always have to have some noise in the background, the TV, radio, anything to drown out the realization that she was alone and, save for Jake, lonely. But right now, she wasn't alone and she didn't want to deal with what his presence meant. The more she thought about it, the more uneasy she felt. Whatever was going to happen with this arrangement, she knew it wasn't going to be as cut and dry as Clay had made it sound. They weren't necessarily going to leave 'just like that'…there would be long-standing repercussions to the night's events, what and how exactly, she wasn't quite sure but it was all something she had fought tooth and nail to avoid.

She knew, without a doubt, that she had lost control over her life that night. From now on, her comings and goings, her decisions, her customers, her finances, her apartment…probably even Jake…would be closely monitored and documented by Samcro. She now had something in her possession that they couldn't lose and once they found something more 'permanent', as both Clay and Jax had assured her, she knew the surveillance wouldn't stop. Once she knew their secrets, even if it was just one, she would forever be affiliated with them by anyone interested in Samcro—good or bad—and they would always have cause to feel ownership of her.

"So I guess you'll have to make me that Bloody some other time?" Jax finally asked quietly, not making eye contact with her.

She could only nod, her thoughts swimming. Even the words he'd just used, "some other time", seemed to confirm her fears. It was never going to stop.

"Kate?" He asked softly. She looked at him finally, his arms crossed over his chest, eyes down and unable to look back at her. But it was the conflict wearing into his face that struck her. Maybe it was time to finally find out what was going on in his head. Maybe, somehow, someway, she might have an ally after all.

She waited silently for him to continue. He didn't speak for awhile, like he was trying to make sense of his own thoughts and decipher how to verbalize what he was thinking.

"Look," he said finally, his voice barely above a murmur. "I know you don't want anything to do with the club…after we heard you'd emancipated yourself and left for college, we figured if you wanted or needed anything , we'd hear from you. Actually…to tell you the truth, I'd been kinda glad that we hadn't heard from you because that meant you were alright. Your business is doing just fine and who were we to come in and screw with any of that…"

Something in his voice hit a nerve with her and she had to ask.

"How do you know anything about my business?"

He looked at her for the first time since he'd begun speaking and there was a hint of guilt and remorse in his eyes.

"When the club heard you'd cashed the whole trust at once, it raised some eyebrows and Clay sent out a tail on you to find out what you were doing with all that money."

She shuddered a little. So they'd been watching her even then. Maybe she'd been completely wrong. Maybe there really was no escaping this band of motorcycle outlaws. She'd just gotten a head start.

"I went," he continued. "Partly because I didn't really trust anyone else and because I wanted to see for myself that you were ok."

For some reason, that made her feel a little bit better to know that it had been him and not some old, creepy biker man with a dirty bandanna following her around. At least, on some level, she trusted him even if she wasn't quite sure why.

"Bobby did a few runs on your finances," he went on. "And after that, we left you alone."

"Until you all decided you had a use for me." She couldn't hide the venom on her voice. From what he had told her, he didn't necessarily deserve it but she had to take her frustration about her current helplessness out on somebody.

"I'm sorry about that," he said soberly. "This doesn't sit right with me and Clay knows it."

"Why not?" There was that nagging part of her that felt she deserved to know why he felt the need to protect her and it had finally won.

"Things are a little rough for the club right now…some bad shit has gone down…some people have gotten hurt and I can't find a good enough reason to bring in someone new who doesn't need to be with us and doesn't want to be with us."

The way he gritted his teeth when he spoke and the clenched fist at his side told her there was something he wasn't telling her…there was more to this story. She supposed if she really needed the details though, he would've told her, wouldn't he? Besides, it was probably a story she didn't want to hear anyways. The less she knew the better.

"Anyways," Jax went on without looking at her. "I know it might not seem like it but this will all blow over eventually and things will go back to normal for you. It's not gonna be tomorrow but I'm hopin' it'll be sooner than we think."

She decided not to challenge him on that one, even though she kinda wanted to laugh in his face, because there was no point in arguing about the inevitable. Instead, she realized there was one detail they hadn't yet worked out: "And what happens when the Mayans or the Nords or whoever else finds out about your new storage space? I mean, I know the store is a good 45 minutes away from Charming but that doesn't mean they won't figure it out."

Jax nodded, a hint of admiration in his eyes as he met her gaze. Although they had been sitting close to each other against the counter, he hadn't been able to make contact with her for quite awhile. And now, he almost seemed proud of her for thinking of all the details. She wasn't naïve and she'd been down this road before.

"We're gonna make sure that doesn't happen. You won't see any of us around here in a cut. And we're going to take a different route every time we make a run here. And it's only gonna be me and one of the prospects makin' the runs to keep it lookin' more discreet. Look…nothing's gonna happen…besides, you've got that gun hidden away in your store if the occasion arises."

"Yeah,"she snorted.

He grinned, glad for the change in subject. "You do know how to use that thing, right?"

She laughed and resisted the urge to hit in him the shoulder like an old friend. They weren't friends.

"I wouldn't have it if I didn't know how to use it."

He nodded, satisfied with her answer but decided to ask anyways. "So…is there a reason in particular why you have that besides just safety?"

She let out a loud sigh and pushed herself off the counter, suddenly remembering he had been asking for food earlier. She pulled open the refrigerator and started fishing through it. Anything to keep her busy so keep her emotions under control. She'd only had to tell this story twice before and it wasn't something she'd been prepared to do tonight. She knew she could just no, that there wasn't a specific reason, but for whatever reason, not only did she feel like she could tell him, she felt that he should know.

"About a year ago, I was closing up the store and was just about to head upstairs when a big guy in a black mask held a knife to my throat. Forced me back inside, made me empty the cash register, and was pushing me back towards the bathroom. The only thing that saved me was Jake. He heard the one scream I managed to get out and somehow got out the door…the cops told me later that I'd left the door unlocked…anyways, Jake jumped on the guy, almost tore his arm apart…and after he threw Jake off of him, he just ran out. He left me tied up in the bathroom until the FedEx guy found me and Jake in the morning. After that, I bought a gun."

There was a little bit more to the story than that though. She didn't mention that the masked assailant had groped her and beaten her. There were evidence photos to prove it. But some details just didn't need to be shared. She looked up from the refrigerator to Jax, who was staring at her intently. They stayed like that for a few moments, her—waiting for him to say something, anything and him—trying to think of something to say. That story had obviously not been what he'd been expecting.

"And…" he struggled for words. "Did the cops get him?"

She nodded sadly. "Yeah, I think he might actually be in the same prison as…as my dad. I stopped paying attention after the jury sentenced him."

"Did you have to testify?"

"Yeah."

He nodded and bit his lip, unsure of what to say next.

"Well," she changed the subject again. "I'm sorry to tell you but I really don't have a whole lot of food…I guess I have to go grocery shopping more often. I can order a pizza if you want."

He nodded again, still having yet to find the ability to speak a full sentence. He ran a shaky hand through his slightly greasy blonde hair and then rubbed his face. He watched as she grabbed for her cell phone and ordered him a pizza. When the call was made, she sighed deeply and haphazardly threw her phone back into her oversized purse. She pushed herself off the counter again and headed for the couch, fully aware that both Jax and Jake were following her.

Jax fell into the chair across from her and crossed his hands behind his head, deep in thought.

Finally, he spoke. "So…what exactly made you want to open up a bookstore, of all things?"

She laughed, happy to finally be talking about something that wasn't so heavy. "What makes you say that?"

He shrugged and his hands fell into his lap. "I don't know…I guess I don't remember ever seeing you reading anything that wasn't for school…"

"At Teller-Morrow?" She asked incredulously, wondering where and how that could have happened anyways. Whenever she'd been at the shop, Gemma had always found something for her to do and if there wasn't something for her to do, she was ordered to do her homework.

Jax just shrugged again. "I don't know…anywhere."

She laughed again and didn't miss the lop-sided grin that crept onto his face. He was probably just happy to see her in a better mood; it wasn't like the day's events had been easy.

"Besides, when would you have noticed? As I seem to remember, every time I saw you at Teller-Morrow…or anywhere for that matter, you were always with a different girl. You definitely had better things to, uh, do, right?" She ribbed.

He grimaced and shook his head with a laugh. "Aw, come on…gimme a break, ok? I was young…and very stupid…crow eaters aren't exactly on my agenda anymore."

She raised an eyebrow, partly at the term he'd used—she vaguely remembered it to mean girls who, well, ate crow—and at this new piece of the puzzle. She'd assumed that the 'crow eaters' were just a way of life and would always be a way of life for any member of Samcro who didn't have a wife or—what were they called…old ladies—the ones who weren't married but might as well have been, just like her parents. Given the way he looked and the fact that he was the VP, crow eaters couldn't be in short supply.

"And why is that?" She asked against her better judgment.

He shrugged. "I had a kid."

Her eyes widened and her eyebrows rose again. That was definitely not the answer she'd been expecting.

"Well…that explains why you've been acting like such an adult. You kinda have to be one now, huh?"

He nodded with soft smile and took his phone out of his pocket. He flipped it open and handed it over to her.

"Here he is…his name's Abel. He just turned 2 a few weeks ago…my mom threw this big party with balloons and clowns…it was insane." He chuckled at the memory of his son with birthday cake smeared all over his face.

And there he was. He looked exactly like the baby pictures she remembered seeing of Jax—same head of curly blonde hair, same dimples, same blue eyes. That kid was going to be a heartbreaker. She was still trying to wrap her head around Jax as the father of this adorable little boy smiling back at her. His need to protect her was starting to make more sense now and it explained why the rough edge he'd had when he was 20 had all but disappeared. She couldn't help but smile as he took the phone back from her and glanced at the photo of his son with a grin before putting it back in his pocket. Fatherhood looked good on him.

"He's really cute, Jax." She said softly with a light smile. She wondered, briefly, about Abel's mother…who she was…where she was…but decided against it. That was more information about his life than she needed.

"Yeah, he is, isn't he?" He grinned back at her. "So…anyways…we were talking about how the hell you opened up a bookstore."

She laughed. "Well, if you really want to know, I majored in English at UCLA…I thought about teaching for a while but for whatever reason, I wasn't really feeling that so I got a minor in Business too. I don't know…I guess there was something about being my own boss that appealed to me and I did have some money lying around which of course, wasn't even really mine to begin with."

He didn't miss the bitterness in her voice and quickly cleared his throat. "The hours must really suck though, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I can't afford to hire anyone yet so it's just me. 9-7, Monday through Saturday, and 12-5 on Sundays. It would be nice to have a personal life, other than just Jake, but I guess I don't really have time for it. I have to be there."

"You know, when me and the prospect are here, just give us something to do—any heavy lifting, moving, whatever—put us to work and we'll help you out." He offered.

She smiled faintly. Well, if she was being forced into this situation, she might as well get a couple extra pair of hands out of it.

"Sure," she replied softly. She glanced at the clock above the mantel and sighed. They'd been talking for well over two hours. "Well, I gotta get to bed. There's an extra pillow and blanket in the closet by the table."

He nodded and rubbed his hands almost nervously against his worn jeans. They stared at each other for a moment.

"So…what's the plan for tomorrow?"

"Just do whatever you normally do—the prospect is going to get here right around closing time with another load. Oh shit, I almost forgot…I'm supposed to tell you that my mom's having a family dinner tomorrow night and she wanted me to ask you if you'd come after you close the store."

She exhaled loudly and once again, felt the walls closing in on her. His words, again, struck a nerve: "family dinner". She wasn't family and she really didn't want to be. She knew that once she came to one dinner, it would only be the gateway into further involvement with the club. One dinner would become two. Two would become three…and then once it started, how would it stop? And then she thought of Gemma, who she had called Auntie Gemma until she was 12 and who had been more like a mother to her when she'd lived in Charming than her own mother had. She had been the one who'd taken her to the drugstore to buy her first box of tampons—and explained how to use them—she'd been the one who had taken her dress shopping for all her high school dances, who had coached her through how to get Max Miller to kiss her in 9th grade, who'd given her spending money because she knew her mom was spending all their extra cash on drugs, who'd been her shoulder to cry on after her mom went to rehab for the first, second, and third time, and who'd supported her when she decided to emancipate herself from her parents right before her 17th birthday. Gemma had never denied her anything, and so she couldn't bring herself to deny Gemma now. Besides, she had a feeling that if she said no, she'd be receiving a visit from her anyways.

"Ok," she answered simply. That was all she could say. They said their good nights and then she retreated into the bedroom, her head swimming with all the information, all the details, and the emotions she wasn't ready to deal with yet.

Jax watched her bedroom door close and exhaled heavily. That definitely could've gone better but he figured it also could've gone a lot worse. He hadn't expected her to be happy about any of this but he had to give her credit for putting up a good fight. Truth be told, she hadn't really had a chance but he knew she had already been well aware of that, which made her strong stand all the more impressive.

When the doorbell rang, he paid for the pizza and began to walk around her apartment as he ate, investigating her life but being careful not to snoop too much. He couldn't quite put his finger on why he was so fascinated with the life she led…it seemed just as ordinary as any but he knew that it was actually the furthest thing from ordinary because of how she'd gotten it. It was, however, completely the opposite of anything he knew, which he guessed was why it was so interesting to him.

There was a black shelf next to the TV filled with movies and he took a moment to peruse its contents. There were some chick flicks he had zero interest in but some other titles like Taxi Driver, Goodfellas, Star Wars, and The Hangover that caught his eye. She actually had pretty good taste…for a girl. There some books on the shelf that he didn't recognize but he didn't feel too bad about that.

It was crazy…the more he found about her…the more he realized he had no idea who she was anymore. He knew next to nothing about her life after she'd high-tailed it out of Charming, besides what she'd just told him and what the club had dug up a few years earlier. He couldn't blame her, though, for getting the hell out of Charming. For all of Gemma's flaws as a mother, at least she wasn't a junkie and a porn producer. From what he remembered, LuAnn hadn't really been much of a parent to Kate after Otto got locked up. She'd gotten deeper into drugs—Gemma had said it was because she was depressed—and was spending all her time in CaraCara, something that drove Gemma and Clay crazy, and after Otto went to prison, he couldn't remember ever seeing LuAnn and Kate together. He knew Gemma had stepped in and picked up some of LuAnn's slack, took her to school, went shopping with her but he knew it couldn't be the same was being with your own mom. He couldn't feel anything but sorry for her…and the fact that Kate and his son had something so shitty in common did not sit well with him. At least Abel would never have to know how fucked-up his mom was…Kate had had to see it up close and personal. He figured she'd probably gotten very good at hiding the mess Otto and LuAnn had left behind.

He wandered further into the living room and studied the cluster of photos on her walls. He wasn't surprised that the photos weren't of her life before she'd left Charming. There were a few of her with a group of girls at a table, surrounded with margaritas and shots, a few with her and Jake, and a few with her and that same group of girls, but this time they were all wearing graduation cap and gowns. He couldn't help himself. She had grown up to be too damn pretty…beautiful….but he couldn't let himself think of her as hot. When she was younger, she'd been so sweet, so innocent, and so pretty with her long blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He'd be lying to himself if he hadn't wished she'd been a little bit older back then. So he'd joked around with her, teased her, and threatened any boyfriends that showed up at Teller-Morrow looking for her because…well, because she was 16 and Otto would have castrated him if he'd tried anything with her. Contrary to her earlier comment, he had most definitely noticed her.

And now, she wasn't 16 anymore. Even though he had seen her from a distance when he'd tailed her a few years ago, seeing her up close for the first time in nine years had been nothing short of a shock. He'd always known she was going to grow up to be beautiful but he couldn't have counted on everything else she had become... a gorgeous, smart, funny, independent, successful, and mostly sane woman, in spite of her childhood. But it was her fire…her strength…that he liked the most about her and he couldn't think of the last time he had admired any woman, next to his mom, until now. He knew that seemed pretty shitty—and he respected women—but it had been awhile since he'd encountered a woman with any 'admirable' qualities, and she had them in spades. But, he had to remind himself, she was off-limits to him then and she still was. He was here in her apartment now to keep her safe. That was it.

He smiled softly when he realized that the one thing those pictures had in common was that she looked really happy in every single one. It looked she had been able to find whatever she was looking for when she'd left Charming and he was glad for that. His stomach churned at the thought that, after tonight, it would probably be a while before she was ever that happy again. Samcro was to blame for that. He sighed again as he flopped onto the couch and discarded the pizza box. The absolute last thing he'd wanted to do was come in and completely disrupt her life. It seemed like she had a good thing going here and despite what he'd said earlier, the odds of her coming out of this unscathed were most likely slim to none. The best he could hope for was that she lost a few customers because of the constant presence of motorcycles.

He thought of Donna lying cold and bloodied in the middle of the street with that awful white sheet pulled over her body, a complete innocent in a fucked-up and corrupt world. And his mom, who was far from innocent but had done nothing to deserve the pain and the torture and the haunted look he saw in her eyes whenever she spoke about what had happened to her. The only real crime Donna and Gemma had committed was being involved with Samcro. And it seemed that women close to Samcro were getting hurt or murdered as of late. But he wasn't about to tell Kate that and scare the hell out of her, or worse, prompt her to call the cops. If she did, he wouldn't be able to put a stop to whatever sentence Samcro handed out for that.

Still, he wasn't about to let history repeat itself. Kate wasn't going to suffer the way Donna or Gemma had, especially since she didn't need or want to be part of that life. At least Donna and Gemma had known, mostly, what they'd signed for when they had gotten married. Being the daughter of one of the First Nine didn't necessarily have to mean something if she didn't want it to. No one had wanted to force her to come back because she hadn't had any contact with Samcro, not even with Gemma, since she'd left and because, as far as he was concerned, she was probably better off. And then their warehouse had been vandalized and Bobby remembered that they did, in fact, have other options. He couldn't believe what he was seeing when everyone, except him, voted to move the guns to Kate's store. And now he wasn't going to just stand by and let another woman get hurt because of the club's, and Clay's, overwhelming selfishness.

Besides, he figured she'd already been hurt enough. His blood began to boil when her previous words floated around in his head. That explained why she'd seemed scared to death when they came into the store, why she'd had the gun with her, and why she was running for the back door. He didn't want to picture that masked man hurting her but the images wouldn't stop. Why the fuck had they stopped keeping an eye on her? Couldn't they have done something to help her? To give that bastard what was coming to him after what he did to her?

He sighed and ran a shaky hand through his hair to make himself calm down. They'd thought she was fine, he reasoned, he'd seen it himself, and even if they had known, he had a feeling she'd wouldn't have taken their help anyways. At least the mother fucker was in rotting in jail. All the more reason to make sure nothing like that ever happened to her again.

With that thought, he flipped open his cell and called Juice.

"Hey man, can you do me a favor?" He said softly to make sure Kate wouldn't be able to hear him. "Kate told me she was attacked in the store a year ago…find out whatever you can about that, alright?" He paused, listening to Juice. "I just want make sure this guy isn't going to be a problem, alright? Ok…cool, thanks man."

He snapped his cell shut and sighed again. There had to more than just what she had told him. There was something in her voice, something that reminded him too much of the way Gemma had sounded the first time she'd told them she'd been raped, that prompted him to need more information. If this guy was out, or was just about to get out, he was going to be taken care of whether she was ok with it or not. At the very least he could make sure the bastard never came near her again.

His eyes found Jake, who had his head rested contently over Jax's legs, and when the dog met his gaze, he nodded to him, acknowledging a job well done. He bent down and patted the Jake's head.

"Good job, buddy," he murmured to the dog. "I'm glad you were there to protect her. You just keep on protecting her, ok? And I will to…how does that sound?"

When Jake responded by licking his hand, Jax nodded to himself, reassured that between the two of them, they just might be able to get her out of this in one piece.

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><p><strong>AN**-Ahh...so they were both attracted to each other nine years ago but couldn't do anything about it...well, I can tell you that, for now at least, Jax's primary focus will be on keeping her safe and Kate's primary focus will be on staying as far away from Samcro as possible. But I think we all know that's not going to last for very long. The family dinner is next...

FYI-Starting this Wednesday, I'm going to be without the internet for about a week so I'm going to try to get another chapter up before then but I can't promise anything. At the very least, I'll have a couple updates ready to go by the time I get the internet back.

I hope you liked this chapter and as always...please R/R!


	3. The Dinner

**A/N-Thanks for waiting...I finally got the internet back! So when I was first writing this it felt like there wasn't a whole lot going on but then I looked a little bit closer and realized that there actually is a lot going on, if you read between the lines a little in what's happening and what's being said. Well, that being said, I hope you enjoy!**

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><p>LOVE SONG<p>

Chapter Three

When Kate woke up the next morning, she had been secretly hoping that the day before was just a figment of her imagination. She kept up that façade when she slid out of bed and ventured out into the living room to make her morning coffee. Of course, Jax was passed out on the couch with Jake curled up against him…they were spooning. If it had been with anyone else and in any other situation, she would have thought it was cute but with this man and this situation, she wanted to throw up. But she wasn't about to let Jax see that.

So she went about her normal morning routine, not necessarily because that's what he had told her to do, but because it was the only way she could push what was happening to her life out of her mind. Passive aggressive defiance was her only line of defense left. Everything else had been ripped right out of her hands.

By the time she had showered, eaten breakfast, and finished her coffee, Jax still hadn't moved on the couch. There was one moment, when she passed by the couch in between trips to the kitchen from the bathroom, where she lingered over him while he slept and she found herself smiling down at the sight. His legs were wrapped around the blanket, pushed up close to his chest and both hands clutched the pillow under his head. For such a rough and tough biker guy, he slept like a big baby. And it was kinda cute. And when she realized what she was thinking, she wanted to slap herself. So when she was ready to go, she got out of that apartment as soon as she could without a glance back at the sleeping form on her couch.

When she got down to the store, it was business as usual. She'd gotten so used to doing everything by herself that she could go on auto-pilot when it came to opening and closing procedures. She'd brought Jake down with her too, again…not so he wouldn't disturb Jax…but because that's what she normally did anyways. She always felt guilty leaving him up in the apartment by himself and the mornings were usually slow anyways. The customers that did show up before 2:00 never minded the presence of the friendly golden retriever.

She watched Jake with a smile as he went sniffing through the aisles, almost like he was inspecting everything to make sure it was ok for her to be there. She still marveled at how he was always able to know who was good and who was bad. When a normal customer came into the store, he could always sense immediately that that person meant no harm and trotted up to greet him or her. It was when he stood on edge, tail erect, that she knew to be nervous. Which made his reaction to Jax all the more perplexing to her…she didn't know anyone or anything that was a better judge of character than her dog and Jake had found him trustworthy in under a minute.

It wasn't until around 10:30, when she was starting to prepare the café for the lunch crowd that trickled in, that Jax finally showed himself. She noticed immediately that his hair was a little wet and he wasn't wearing his cut. He also had a cup of coffee with him too. So, it appeared he had just helped himself like he owned the place.

"Morning." He said with a warm smile.

"Hey."

If he noticed her sour mood, he did a good job of hiding it. Jake found him immediately and he bent down to ruffle the fur on Jake's neck.

"I'd expected you to sleep in a little later." She said, eyeing the interaction between him and her dog carefully.

He just shrugged. "I guess I woke up to the smell of something good so I figured I'd better get my ass down here to see what you had cookin'."

She knew he was just giving her a complement, that he was just trying to keep the peace, but she decided it was best to keep him at arm's length. "It's almost ready to go; you can have some then."

He smirked at her, like he was amused by the effort she was putting forth to be the biggest bitch possible. She wasn't used to acting this way and he seemed to sense that, which did nothing but irritate her.

"Ok…so do you mind if I take this guy outside? I gotta move my bike anyways before you get too many customers in here." He asked politely.

She nodded and watched as Jax left with her dog, feeling like her only true ally had gone over to the dark side. Now it was just her against the outlaws, and it was obvious who was going to win that battle. She hadn't even had a chance in hell to win.

About a half hour had passed and she'd been helping a few customers find what they were looking for, so when she made it back over to the café, Jax was already sitting at the counter and looking over the menu.

"So what'll it be, sir?" She surprised herself with the light tone.

"Hmm…" he was still looking everything over. "I honestly don't know. Everything looks really good…and I'm not just saying that, you know?"

He paused, as if to check to make sure that she really did know and waited until she nodded.

"Got any suggestions?"

"Well…the turkey club is pretty popular; it's got lettuce, tomato, a honey mustard sauce that I make—"

"That's the one, then," he cut in.

She laughed. "Ok—one turkey club coming up."

He immediately started digging into his back pocket for his wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

She hesitated for a moment. She had honestly assumed that this arrangement also meant any of the club members coming to her store had free reign of whatever they wanted. That he was offering to actually pay was a bit of a shock. But why was he offering anyways? She knew he knew everything there was to know about her business, which meant he also knew that she was still in the process of getting her feet on the ground and the absolute last thing she needed was his charity.

"Don't worry about it, Jax. This one's on me."

His lips set in a firm line and he shook his head. "No…how much do I owe you?"

"Really, Jax, it's not a big deal…just forget about it."

"I'm gonna find a way to get you the money one way or another. You might as well just take it now." His eyes silently pleaded with her to cooperate, just this once, and to let him have his way.

"Fine." She said after a pause. "But will you at least take a free cookie?"

He grinned with a sly smile. "Darlin', I was hopin' you'd say that. I've been eyeing up that plate over there for the last half hour."

She chose to ignore the term he'd used for her; she didn't have the time or the energy to waste trying to decipher the meaning behind anything Jax Teller said. Besides, if she remembered correctly, that was usually just a generic term for a woman one of the biker boys was trying to charm into doing something. And if all he'd been wanting from her was one of those cookies, then why didn't he just ask for one in the first place? She would have just given it to him…she sighed deeply as she grabbed one of the more fresher ones off the platter and handed it over to him. His eyes lit up immediately as soon as it was in his possession and the entire thing was inhaled within a matter of seconds.

"Wow, did you even taste that?" She couldn't hide the amusement in her voice.

He closed his eyes briefly, like he was in heaven or something. "Hell yeah. Can I have another one? I'll pay for it—"

"Just shut up and take the damn cookie." She said, quickly losing her patience with him, even though she wasn't quite sure why. She was normally on cloud 9 whenever a customer complimented her food but coming from him…something just felt off about it. It was just a cookie, wasn't it?

His eyes widened at her tone and he held up his hands in defensive, cookie and all. "Ok, ok…shit, take it easy."

He took a bite as he walked away, shaking his head. He took a seat in a small table from across the counter and watched her as she prepared his sandwich, which set her even more on edge. Was he just doing this to piss her off? Didn't he say last night that he was there to try to make this easier on her? What a load of bullshit…she'd been perfectly fine and perfectly contented with her store and her dog. That was her life and, except for some occasional loneliness and a few occupational hazards, she had been in the driver's seat since the day she'd gotten the hell of Charming. It was all gone now. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to bang her head against the counter. She cast a wary glanced towards the cause of her misery and grimaced when he grinned and waved at her like nothing was wrong.

When she walked over to his table, he snatched the sandwich off the plate before she even had a chance to set it down.

"Jesus Christ," she muttered under her breath. She watched him for a moment as he proceeded to inhale the sandwich. Allowing the customer-oriented side of her take over, and he was technically a paying customer she reminded herself, she went back around the counter and got him a glass of water. By the time she set the glass on his table, he was already wiping his mouth with a napkin, the entire sandwich already inhaled.

"Man," he yawned as he stretched his arms over his head. "That was some good food. You should bring some of that shit over to my Mom's tonight."

She grimaced and ran a hand over her face. She'd forgotten about that. Shit. It really was never going to end…and it was just beginning.

"Oh yeah…right."

He gestured toward the counter. "And it would be sweet as hell if you could bring some of those cookies too."

She nodded, feeling like she wanted to take that plate of cookies and smash it over his head. She stood there for a moment, contemplating everything that was happening to her. Not only had he slept on her couch, uninvited for that matter, he had single-handedly become best friends with her dog, conned her into cooking for him and bringing left over food from her café to Gemma's 'family' dinner. Her blood was beginning to boil over and, well, there was just so much a person could take in a full 24 hours. There had to be statute of limitations somewhere about outlaws blackmailing and imprisoning innocent citizens. Shit…now her life was starting to sound like an old western or something. Either way, things were already starting to get out of hand.

"You know," she spat out. "I'm not your slave. I don't have to do shit, Jax."

In a split second, she heard the sound of the chair scraping back and he was standing in front of her, his hands held up in front of him defensively.

"Whoa…just calm down here for a second. I didn't mean anything by that…you're a damn good cook and that's all I was trying to say. I wasn't givin' you an order, Kate."

"Oh ok," she was just getting started. "So I'm just supposed to lie down and let you guys walk all over me, sleep in my house, eat my food, do whatever you want with my business and you think you can just sweet talk me and everything will magically calm down?"

"I didn't mean to do any of that…" he glanced around the store to make sure there weren't any customers around to hear. "I know this is really shitty and I know this isn't going to get any better over night but you've got to calm the hell down about all this. You're not making this any easier—"

"I'm not making this any easier? I'm not the one who thinks he can just walk into someone's life and completely take everything over and—"

Now he cut her off. "No one is taking over your life, Kate."

"Bullshit—I know exactly what's going to happen now. I'm going to go to this family dinner, then another, and then another one, and so on…and then you guys are going to keep bringing your cargo and your prospects until you're running my store and using my basement and apartment for God knows what and then everything I've been working the last nine years for, everything I've been trying to do to stay the hell away from all of you and all of this…none of it will matter anymore and I'll be in the same exact position as my parents."

He hesitated for a moment to absorb everything she'd just said. Finally: "I get that there are dangers and risks involved with being close to the club. No one is denying that. But…sooner or later, Kate, you're going to realize that this club is the only family you have left. I know it looks bad now and things didn't exactly go down last night the way I would've liked and…I didn't think so at first…but maybe this isn't going to be so bad for however long it lasts. There's gotta be a silver lining here somewhere. I mean, you're all by yourself here, except for Jake, we can help you and protect you and be there for you whenever you need it—"

"I don't need your help and while I know I can't say much about not needing the protection…I definitely don't want it, not from you. And my family, Jax, my real family…you know exactly where they are. My dad is rotting away in jail for the club and my mom was a porn producer who got strangled on set. Not exactly model parents or the model family, right? And if you're right, if the club is the only family I have left…after seeing the number the club did on my parents, well, I don't want any part of it. So as far as I'm concerned, Jax, you can take your club and your family and go fuck yourself."

His eyes widened at her last words and somewhere in between the shock and the frustration, she detected a hint of admiration in his eyes. She didn't know whether to throw her arms around him and sob or punch and slap him until she passed out from exhaustion. So instead of doing either of those things, she grabbed his empty plate and headed back around the counter.

Luckily for both of them, Jax knew well enough to steer clear of her for the rest of the day. She barely noticed when he made several trips to the basement, let Jake out a few times, and eventually retreated upstairs to her apartment, probably to watch TV. By closing time, she wasn't all that surprised to hear the roaring of a motorcycle engine climb through the window. She hardly glanced up when the door bell clinged and a skinny, pale, and completely harmless looking man came through the door.

"Hi," the man said amiably and held out a hand to her. "You're Kate, right?"

She hesitantly took his hand; there was something about this guy that told her she could trust him. He seemed way too nice to have fallen in with Samcro.

"Yeah and you're…?"

"Kip but everyone calls me Half-Sack." He said with a slightly goofy grin.

"Half-Sack?"There was no way this guy for was real.

"Yeah," he replied sheepishly and ran a hand through his short hair. "I was wounded in Iraq and…well…"

"I'm pretty sure the name says it all, right Sack?" Jax's voice came from down one of the store aisles. When Jax came into view, he nodded to Half-Sack. "How's it goin', man?"

Half-Sack nodded back to him. "It's goin'…got another delivery out front."

"Alright, pull your bike around to the back entrance from now on. I'll meet you over there." Jax said coolly without so much as casting a glance Kate's way. There was something about the way he seemed to be going out of his way to not look at her that was agitating. But then again, she'd also done the same to him since their heated confrontation that morning. So she supposed she couldn't fault him for all but ignoring her but there was still something about that that bothered her…something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

She chose not to pay any attention to what they were doing, or more specifically—bringing—into her basement; it was just easier for her nerves. She just went about her normal closing routine, cleaned up the café, checked the bathrooms, vacuumed down the few aisles that needed, and locked the money away in the safe in the storeroom. By the time all that was done, Jax and Half-Sack were standing in front of her. Jax, unsurprisingly, was looking everywhere but at her. Half-Sack rubbed the back of his neck as he looked back and forth between them, unsure of what to say or do.

"So…" Jax said finally, still not really making eye contact with her. "We'll see you at my Mom's later tonight?"

"Maybe that's not a good idea…"

His eyes immediately found hers. "Gemma will rip me a new one if you don't show."

She winced slightly, remembering that in spite of everything, the last thing she wanted to do was let Gemma down…or feel her wrath. There really was no getting out of this one.

"Alright, alright…I don't want Gemma thinking she has to start making house calls to get me go to those dinners. I guess I might as well surrender on this one, right?"

It wasn't really a question and she didn't miss the touch of sadness in his blue eyes when his eyes found hers again. She felt a pang in her chest at the look in his eyes and for a split second, found herself wondering what it would take to not see that look again. And then she remembered that he had no one to blame but himself and his stupid club for whatever it was he was feeling now. If she didn't need his pity, the last thing she wanted to do was return the favor. Feeling bad for the hardened criminal? Please…what the hell was the world coming to anyways?

They waited for her to lock up and tuck Jake safely away in her apartment—and against her better judgment, she grabbed the plate of cookies- then they sped off, Jax and Half-Sack leading the way on their 'badass' bikes as Kate followed in her perfectly safe and capable Rav-4. As Charming grew closer and closer, she felt her heart begin to pound erratically in her chest. The closer she got, the closer she came to the club and whatever else that meant. But she couldn't turn around and even though she wanted to, an unseen and inexhaustible magnetic force was pulling her closer and closer. And when the "Welcome to Charming" sign came into view, she felt like she was going to throw up. Something was coming. That was for damned sure. And she was beginning to feel like whatever that something was wasn't going to be very good for her.

When they pulled up to the house, she did her best to hide her awe…by the looks of Gemma and Clay's house—and they couldn't have lived there long—the illegal gun trading business was booming. The sprawling two story home was nestled in between two rows of trees, most likely for both privacy and protection and the long driveway seemed like it was never going to end.

Jax and Half-Sack parked their bikes at the end of the already lengthy row of other bikes and she felt her heart clench at the sight. Everyone really was here. She was going to have to face everyone and everything. She pretended not to notice the cocked eyebrow Jax sent her way when he saw the plate of cookies in her hand and instead, did her best to hold her head high and focused on keeping the plate from trembling in her hands as she walked the distance from the driveway to the front door.

The two guys in front of her entered the house and she heard a loud roar escape the front door. She swallowed hard, wondering what kind of greeting she would elicit from the group and with a deep breath, walked through the door that Jax was holding open for her. She was immediately greeted with hugs, hand shakes, and even a few kisses on the cheek from men she barely recognized, if at all. It was a bit of a shock to be greeted so warmly, so much like a long-lost friend and there was creeping part of her that realized, if she had any real family left, this was how that family would treat her. She had no idea how to feel about that and no time to contemplate her swimming emotions when she heard the voice she'd been waiting and dreading to hear.

"Oh! There she is…my girl…get over here!" Gemma's unmistakable voice called from somewhere in the kitchen.

When she came into sight, Kate found herself smiling. Even if she hadn't heard Gemma's voice, she'd have recognized her anywhere. The same bleached streaks, slightly longer hair than she remembered, same piercing eyes, same biker wife clothes, and as the matriarch grew closer, she could see faint lines around her mouth—those definitely hadn't been there before. She had a feeling the culprit was her new status as a grandmother but Kate wasn't about to volunteer that suggestion.

Before she knew what was happening, Gemma was enveloping her into a tight hug. She placed her hands lightly, almost tenderly, around Kate's face and smiled.

"I missed you, sweetheart. How you been?"

It took her a second a find her voice. "I've…uh…I've been fine. How about you, Gemma?"

Gemma laughed good-naturedly and shrugged. "Well, another nine years and I'm still alive. Ain't gonna complain about that…being a grandma makes me feel a little old and I have to say, I feel even older seeing you again. You've sure grown up, baby."

Kate laughed nervously, casting a glance at the watching eyes around her. "Thanks, Gemma. Um…here…I brought some cookies from the café; there just leftovers but Jax liked them so I figured I'd bring them along so I didn't show up here empty-handed."

Gemma grinned as she took the plate from her and lightly slapped away the hands that tried to grab some off the plate.

"Don't worry," she called from inside the kitchen. "All I needed you to bring was yourself…but I think the boys here will be more than grateful you brought this plate with you too."

Kate took a cautious step towards the kitchen and found herself face to face with Clay. A Mexican standoff…they both stared at each other tensely and Clay, at that moment, slightly resembled a bulldog gearing up for a dog-fight. She could almost see the hair standing up on the back of his neck. Then, in a split second, he shocked her by stepping forward and leaning down to give her a light kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, Kate. Glad to have you here." He said coolly. For a moment, there was no trace of the edge and hostility she'd been confronted with the night before. And then, as quickly as it had come, the softness vanished and the coldness was back as he quickly stepped away from her and into the dining room.

"Don't worry about him, Kate," Gemma said coming up behind her. "His bark is worse than his bite."

All she could do was nod and follow Gemma into the dining room. The table had already quickly filled up with everyone taking, at least the way it seemed to Kate, their usual spots at the table and she had no idea what she was supposed to do now. Everyone was just falling into a routine but she didn't know the steps. She'd never felt so out of place before in her entire life. And to make things worse, a nagging feeling was, again, starting to rise up…why did she care that she didn't know their routine? Why did it matter that she didn't know where to sit? Why did it matter that she felt out of place? Wasn't that supposed to be a good thing in this particular situation?

And just as she began to feel the wave of a small panic attack coming straight at her, she jumped at the feel of a light hand on her back and Jax's soft voice in her ear.

"You can sit over here by Gemma," he gestured with the hand that wasn't resting on the small of her back.

She nodded back to him, biting her lip. She didn't know what to say. He hadn't really spoken to her since their confrontation in the café and the way he had spoken to her now…it was almost…intimate…and it completely set her off balance. His low voice was still ringing in her ears when she took her place next to Gemma, who was seated at the end of the table opposite of Clay. She was even more surprised when Jax slid out the chair right next to her and flopped down beside her. Their eyes met for a short moment and she had to fidget in her seat to keep herself from jumping at the contact. It was as if an electrical current had reached out and shocked her.

Gemma rose from her seat and held out her hands to get the table's attention. "Well, before we dig in here, I just wanted to say a few things. I know things have been a little rocky lately…well not really a little but you know what I mean. I can't tell you all how much it means to me to have everybody here under the same roof…all of us in one piece, nobody at each other's throats…at least not yet. And I'm even more grateful to have Kate here, my god-daughter and part of my family. I feel like the missing piece that I was feeling has been filled now and I've got everything back. Beautiful son, beautiful grandson, beautiful god-daughter, beautiful husband and a god-damn beautiful family, all of you. So let's raise our glasses to our family…none of us would be here without it."

"To family!" Everyone raised their glasses and cheered to Gemma's surprisingly heartfelt speech. Kate couldn't remember when she'd ever heard Gemma speak like that before; she'd always been the strong, hard as nails type and when she gave a speech it was to chew someone's ear and definitely not to give a heartwarming speech about family. Maybe she had changed, at least a little bit.

Kate nervously clinked glasses with Gemma and then with Jax, who surprised her again with a warm grin. His closeness was grating on her nerves and there were too many times when their elbows bumped into each other as they ate. She had to resist the urge to scoot her chair closer to Gemma but knew there wasn't a way she could do that discreetly enough to make it worth her while.

Kate ate in near silence as platters of fried chicken, green beans, scalloped potatoes, and ham were passed around both sides of the table. There were plenty of conversations going on around her but she did her best to block out the majority of what was said. She remembered enough about Gemma's family dinners to know that club business discussions were completely off-limits but she honestly didn't want or need to know what going on in all of their lives. She knew it would be easier to hold everyone at arm's length, to keep their interactions strictly about the business, if she didn't know anything personal.

"So, Kate," Gemma's voice jolted her out of her revelry. "You've been awfully quiet over there."

"What? Oh…sorry, Gemma. This is just…this is just a lot to take in all at once." She replied slowly.

Gemma nodded, an understanding smile pressing into her lips. "I know, sweetie, I know. After a while, it'll feel like you never left."

Kate was silent. She didn't know how she was supposed to respond to that. So she figured it was better to just not say anything at all.

"You know," Gemma continued without missing a beat. Kate, on the other hand, was beginning to notice that the rest of the table was listening in on their conversation. "I've been dying to ask you ever since I found out what you do for a living…what the hell ever possessed you to open up a bookstore of all things?"

The table was silent for a moment, all eyes on Kate, all trying to gauge her reaction to Gemma's comments. When Kate began to chuckle, for lack of a better reaction, the rest of the table took that as a sign that it was ok, too, to laugh at Gemma's underhanded joke.

"You know, I asked her that last night and I never got a straight answer out of her." Jax chimed in next to her. She had almost allowed herself to forget that he was sitting right next to her. And then he had to speak. So much for that.

"Yeah, Kate! What the hell is up with that?" Someone else yelled from across the table.

Part of her wanted to feel attacked, like they were making fun of her. But, deep down, she knew that their intentions weren't in the least mean-spirited; this was simply their way of starting a conversation. It was a little on the rough side but it was a good-natured, albeit aggressive, line of questioning.

She chuckled again and took a sip of her beer before answering, very aware that all eyes really were on her.

"Well, I know you guys are all dying to know how that happened. And I know you're all expecting that I just went down the list of majors and picked the one that seemed the furthest away from illegal activity of any kind," she paused and found herself smiling at the round of chuckles that came from around the table, even Clay was biting back laughter. "But the truth is, I've always loved to read and I've always loved to share the books that I've read. I wasn't really cut out to be a teacher and well…I guess the best way I can explain it is…my dad once told me that being part of the club was like being in on this life-changing secret that only a few people could know about. He always said that he wished there was a way more people could get in on the secret, that more people could know what being part of the club was really like, not just all the illegal stuff, that they would understand and want to be part of it too. I know it's a strange analogy but I feel like that whenever I read a good book. It's like you have this amazing, life-changing secret right in your hands and all you want to do is tell everyone you know so they can be in on the secret too. And when you think about it, it usually takes at least a week or two get through a book, given the reader, and that's a lot of time to spend with a story. When you find a good one, it's an experience…you're just sucked in and you can't put it down because you just have to know what happens next. I think the only reason I'm still in business is because I seem to have a knack for recommending the right book for the right person and the best part of my job is when a customer comes back in the store and tells me they loved the book I recommended to them. It's a good feeling, like you did something to make their day, like you helped them get that experience and get in on the secret."

When she finished speaking, her eyes briefly flitted to Jax, who had been watching and listening intently. He smiled softly, his eyes once again radiating the admiration she had seen before and bit his lip as he looked back down at his plate. By that point, the rest of the table was already reoccupied with their own little side conversations and the pressure was officially off of Kate.

"Well," Gemma replied, an impressed look on her face. "That was not the answer I was expecting but, you know, I guess when you put it that way…I can see why you enjoy it."

Kate nodded with a smile. "And there's something to be said about being your own boss…"

"Hey," Gemma replied with a nod. "That's definitely something I can relate to."

"Yeah, except when being your own boss means being your only employee." Jax added with that lop-sided grin she was quickly beginning to loath.

"What?" Gemma nearly dropped her fork. "How are you still standing by the end of the day?"

She just shrugged. "It's not as horrible as you'd think it would be. Besides, I can't exactly afford to hire anyone right now. I'm still getting on my feet with the store and it's just easier not to have to balance an employee on top of everything else that goes into it."

"Put the prospect to work." Gemma suggested nonchalantly.

"Don't worry, Ma…I've already got the prospect borrowed out to her and I already told Kate to put me to work too whenever I'm there." Jax reassured her good-naturedly.

"Well, you'd better give her a hand when you're there. If you don't, I'll rip you a new one…don't think I won't, Jackson." Gemma replied sternly.

Jax held up his hands in defense and shook his head, shooting Kate a dramatic eye roll.

"Besides, sweetie," Gemma turned back to Kate. "That doesn't leave you with anytime for a guy, right?"

Kate opened her mouth to speak and then shut it again quickly. "No," she started again. "Not really…I guess I haven't had a whole lot of time to think about that for awhile."

"Well, when was the last time you had a date, hun?"

She bit her lip in thought. "Hmm…it's horrible that I can't even remember. I don't think I've really had a date since I was in college. That was at least two years ago…wow."

Gemma swatted at the air and shifted in her seat. "You know, what? There's nothing wrong with being a career woman, at least not right now. I say, get your business up and going, get a couple employees under you, and then you can a man on top of you…or under you…you know what I mean?"

Kate just laughed as Gemma winked at her playfully. It was hard to believe they'd been separated for nine years. In some ways, it felt like they'd never been apart and now their relationship had matured from Gemma giving her advice on how to get a guy to kiss her to how to get a guy on top of her…or under her.

And in spite of her better judgment, she cast a glance towards Jax, who previously unbeknownst to her, had been paying close attention with a grave expression on his face. At first, she was a little embarrassed that he had heard that exchange with Gemma. But then again, her personal life had absolutely nothing to do with and it was absolutely none of his business. The look on his face bothered her; his forehead was crinkled up like he was deep in thought over something distressing and what bothered her was why he had even been paying attention in the first place. Again, it was absolutely none of his business.

"Well, boys," Clay rose up from the other side of the table. "I think it's time we headed over to the clubhouse for church."

The rest of the club murmured their agreement and several of them nodding their heads. What followed was the sound of chairs scraping back as they got up to leave, each kissing Gemma, and some even Kate, on the cheek as they passed by, and the roar of motorcycle engines as they rode off to attend 'church'. By the time they were all gone, Kate felt her head spinning. It was insane…about 24 hours before she had been all but living her dream of an honest, clean, Samcro-free life. And now here she was, sitting at the table of Gemma Morrow, helping her clean up the dirty dishes and plates, wondering what the hell just happened…and wondering why Jax was paying such attention to her.

"I don't know about you," Gemma called from in the kitchen. "But I'm glad those boys are gone. Now we can have some real girl talk…get in here and let's get these dishes done!"

Kate swallowed the lump that had progressively gotten larger as the night wore on. It had been a very long time since she'd had girl talk with Gemma and she still wasn't sure if girl talk with her was a good or a bad thing. Well, her long night was about to get even longer. Great.

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><p><strong>AN-**The next chapter will focus more on the 'after' of the family dinner (this one was more the before and during) and we'll see Gemma and Kate's after-dinner girl talk and what happens during the club's church meeting. So...if you're enojying the story, please leave a review! I think I got about two or three for the last chapter and while alerts and favorites are still awesome, actual feedback is even better. Hope you liked it! R/R!


	4. After Dinner Conversations

**A/N-**Thanks for all the reviews! I guess all I had to do was ask and I got them! While I understand the frustrations of one reviewer, please keep in mind that we're only on chapter four and it's been established, at least I think it has, that this situation is pretty impossible for her to get out of at this point. So...on to seeing the Gemma we all know and love. Enjoy!

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><p>LOVE SONG<p>

Chapter Four

As Kate dutifully followed Gemma into the kitchen, and with all the guys now gone, she realized that it really was just the two of them alone in that big house. There was a chill in the air now and she wasn't sure if it was because the house was near-empty or because she was alone with Gemma. And as she entered the kitchen, she found herself remembering something her mom had once said about Gemma: that she wondered if Gemma was bipolar or had multiple personalities. Maybe that explained the chill she felt before. She found herself wishing that Jax was still here…at least he was making a continued effort to make this situation easy for her. She was beginning to feel like he was the only one who was going to do that for her. With Gemma, one just never knew what to expect.

She set the pile of dirty dishes she'd been carrying next to the sink and looked around anxiously, unsure of what to do next or what was going to happen next. Sure, they could catch up on each other's lives, reminisce about all the times she'd spent the night at their old and much less expensive house when her own mother had been unable to care for her and she was contemplating asking where, exactly, Abel's mother was, and on some level, things could relatively go back to the way things were before she left Charming, at least with Gemma. But there was a part of her that sensed there was a side to Gemma she hadn't seen nine years before, a side that her mom had only briefly complained about when she was in between getting high and running her porn business. When she was 16, she'd been oblivious to much else besides school, boys, her bitterness about her dad's imprisonment, and her mom's problems. She wouldn't have caught on to anything off about Gemma but there was something about the way she'd acted at dinner that had caught her off guard…she had a feeling that Gemma's 'other' side was about to rear it's ugly head.

"Well, all the boys are gone now…it's just you and me, kid." Gemma said, coming up behind her.

"Um…yeah."

"So, how's that little store of yours?"

And here we go, Kate thought to herself.

"It was pretty slow at first; I think it took me a little bit longer than I thought to get everything up and running and to figure out how to run it…but word of mouth seems to be helping." At this point, she was just talking so they wouldn't have to stand there in silence. It was already awkward enough.

"You know," Gemma said as she moved back over the sink. "From what Clay told me, you're quite the businesswoman. Just like your mom."

Kate knew that Gemma had actually intended her comment to be a compliment, at least she thought, but it was hard not to feel a pang anytime her mom was mentioned, especially whenever it involved similarities between the two of them. She wanted to put just as much space between her and her mom as she did with the club.

Gemma immediately picked up on the reason behind her silence and she shifted, her hand at her hip, to get a better look at Kate.

"So," Gemma wisely changed the subject. "How are you doing with all of this, anyways? Clay, Jax, and the prospect in your hair…?"

Kate bit her lip in thought, knowing that this was more interrogation than friendly conversation. She was certain now that Gemma actions towards her before and during dinner were all but an act she'd put on, for who though, she wasn't quite sure. She sensed that her answers now were important, not just for the sake of her and Gemma's relationship, but also for the sake of her own safety. Although she hadn't had much experience with the bad side of Gemma, she knew enough to know that Gemma had more influence over Clay, and essentially the club, than any actual member. Her answers would get back to Clay, Jax, and the rest of the club one way or another. She didn't like this test and hadn't had enough time to prepare.

"Well," she began with a deep breath. "I can't say I enjoy their presence. Jax has been decent enough…I know he's trying to make things easier for me, which I appreciate, but I guess I can't appreciate the way my entire life has been taken over. I'm sorry for being so frank but it's true."

She figured, in this situation, honest was always going to be the best policy. Gemma was already watching her carefully, waiting for her to slip, waiting for her to give her a reason not to trust her…almost like she had been expecting it and now was looking for the evidence. Kate knew that giving Gemma any kind of ammunition was the exact opposite of what she needed to do now.

"Hmmm…" Gemma said guardedly as she rinsed off some dishes. "But you're dealing with it?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah…I have to. I mean, if I don't, I'll lose my store and there's no amount of freedom that's worth more to me than that."

Gemma turned around and met her gaze straight-on. Kate couldn't exactly read her expression but knew that she was weighing her answer and trying to decide how to interpret it.

"And what about your opinion of the club? That's changed a hell of a lot since the last time we saw each other…how are you dealing with the presence of the, uh, cargo in your basement?"

Kate took another deep breath as she figured out how to answer that question. She knew she couldn't tell Gemma the whole truth but also knew she couldn't risk Gemma calling her on a lie. How could she go about meeting somewhere in the middle with this and still leave with all limbs and body parts in tact?

"I'm just trying to pretend that it isn't there and going about business as usual." It was simple enough and as close to the exact truth as she could possibly get without shooting herself in the foot.

"And the club?" Gemma didn't miss a beat, calling her on the fact that she had avoided Gemma first question.

"The club is the club…it's not like I'm not familiar with what goes on, I guess I did grow up with all of that after all…and as soon as this is over, I'm just going to back to my life like nothing ever happened."

Gemma's eyes narrowed into thin black slits. "And you think you'll be able to do it? Just like that?"

Kate shrugged, trying desperately to maintain any sort of composure in the presence of this intimidating woman. Now she knew exactly why her mom had spoken of Gemma like she was her best friend one day and like she was the devil incarnate the next. LuAnn hadn't exactly been right about a lot of things…like telling her 16-year old daughter her third time at rehab would really be the charm…but, all things considered, she'd been dead-on about Gemma. And this Gemma, this dark, fierce, and steely Gemma, was scary as hell.

And here she thought Clay was the scary one.

Before she could stop herself, she turned to Gemma and the word vomit just spit out of her: "Gemma…I know what's going on here. I know you're trying to figure out if you can trust me, if I'm going to call the cops, if I can handle all this pressure…and while I can't tell you I'm happy about this, well, I've never lied to you my entire life and I'm not about to start now. I value my life and my business enough to do anything to piss you off. But what I can tell you is that I'm not going to call the cops, if anybody shows up asking questions, I don't know anything and Jax already put his number in my speed dial so I can call him easily if anything like that happens. I know I don't want to have anything to do with the club and I know that makes you feel uneasy but I would also never do anything to hurt the club either."

She wanted to clamp her hand around her mouth and scream as soon as the words were finished spilling out of her. It was as if her tongue had a mind of its own. She closed her eyes briefly, just to get her bearings back, and when she found the strength to open them back up, Gemma was studying her carefully.

Several moments passed without a word, both of them staring at each other, trying to figure out the next move in this chess game. Finally, Gemma quietly broke the suffocating silence.

"You know, Kate," she said with a soft smile. "I appreciate your honesty. I really do. And I want more than anything to believe you…and while I understand that you have a lot at stake here, you have to understand that we have a hell of a lot more at stake, so it's only natural for me to question whether or not this arrangement is really what's best for everyone involved, including you."

Kate nodded slowly, not sure if this was good or bad.

"That being said," Gemma continued. "I hope we can put this…unpleasantness…behind us and try to keep the peace…you know, that reminds me…I came across this the other day…"

Gemma turned on her heel and went into another room, rummaging around for something. When she came back, she handed Kate a slightly worn picture of a pre-teen, shaggy-haired Jax with his arm slung around the tiny shoulders of her younger self. She had to have been no more than seven in that picture and she found herself smiling back at the grinning images looking up at her. They both looked a little dirty and she vaguely remembered Gemma snapping it of the two of them after they'd come back from a few hours playing baseball at the park. Jax, very unsuccessfully, had been trying to teach her how to bat and she marveled that even then, he'd had remarkable patience for her.

She started handing the picture back to Gemma, too caught up in the past but Gemma just shook her head.

"Nah…keep it. I've got a few copies of it anyways. I had completely forgotten how you two used to play together when you were so little," Gemma sighed, looking back at the picture. "And now look at you both…all grown up, you—a college grad, running your own business, and Jax—with a kid, a house, VP of the club…it seemed like it all happened so fast."

"Yeah…Jax showed me a picture of Abel actually. He's adorable. He looks just like the baby pictures of Jax I've seen."

Gemma smiled wistfully. "That boy is my pride and joy…I don't know what we would have done if we'd lost him…"

Kate frowned. "What?"

Gemma looked back at Kate in frustration, her brow furrowed. "Jax must not have told you much."

"No," she shook her head. "All he told me was that Abel just had a birthday party."

Gemma nodded sadly and motioned for Kate to sit down at the now clean table. "He's unbelievably lucky he even had a first birthday, let alone two. I probably shouldn't be telling you this but that god damn bitch of a mother of his…God, I wish Jax had never laid eyes on her…she was a crack addict and Jax, like the idiot he was, married her anyways. After a few months, he got sick of dealing with her shit and left. She supposedly went to rehab and came back promising him that she was all better, that she hadn't touched the shit, and, like the god damn idiot he was, he believed her and she got pregnant. After he found out she was using again, he bailed on both of them and filed for divorce."

"They were married?" Kate asked cautiously, barely believing what she was hearing.

Gemma nodded, her lips set in a firm line. "Yes…trust me, I still have no idea what possessed him to marry her in the first place but that was a disaster everyone saw coming. Abel was born prematurely because she decided to shoot up when she was seven months pregnant. He had a hole in his stomach, not to mention the family defect, and was in an incubator for months. Nobody thought he had a chance, except for me, but the little guy pulled through and he's as healthy as a horse now."

"And Abel's mother…where is she now?"

Gemma shuttered a little, something Kate had never, ever seen her do. "Well, the divorce was final over two years ago and after that waste of space packed up all her shit and got the hell out of here, I have no idea where she went or what she's doing. I don't care as long as she never shows her face around here."

"And Jax isn't worried that she might come back?"

Gemma laughed, almost frighteningly. "She knows better than to come looking for what isn't hers. Besides, she knows she'd never make it out of this town again alive. So no, Jax isn't too worried and I'm not either."

Kate nodded slowly, feeling her previous uneasiness creep back up. Gemma really could turn it on and off like a light switch—she was funny and friendly one minute and ready to bite someone's head off the next. That thought alone was enough to make her take a cautious step closer to the counter and away from Gemma. Had Gemma always been like this? It was difficult to reconcile this woman with the warm, happy, and welcoming 'Aunt' she had spent so much time with years before. She couldn't help but wonder what had happened to this woman to make her this way…and then part of her began to feel a little sorry for Gemma. Sure, she had more money and power than Kate could probably conceive of, but she couldn't be happy, couldn't be able to really enjoy any of it…always worried about the men in her life, always manipulating, always threatening people, albeit underhandedly, to get what she wanted from them….no one could be happy like that for long. And then, as this new realization sunk in, Gemma suddenly didn't seem so scary.

"So," Gemma said as she wiped her hands with a towel. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Sure."

"You know, those cookies you brought tonight were divine. What brand do you use for the store? I'd love to pick some up." Gemma continued as she started a pot of coffee.

"I actually make those from scratch."

Gemma turned on her heel with a confused expression on her face. "You…wow. You know, I never would have pegged you for the baking type…but, well you did love that easy-bake oven when you were little."

Kate surprised herself by laughing. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"Did you always plan on doing the bookstore-café thing?"

"It started as a bookstore-coffee thing and then a couple of customers told me they wished they could have lunch at the store too and then the café just kinda happened on its own. Actually, it was the best thing that ever happened to the store—I don't know if I'd still be in business without it."

Gemma nodded in understanding and handed her a cup of coffee, gesturing for them to sit at the table. "Jax mentioned earlier today that he had lunch there and that it was the best club sandwich he'd ever had. Which, given the amount of food my son eats, is a pretty good compliment."

Kate sighed softly, remembering the way she had treated Jax earlier that day. He hadn't necessarily deserved everything he got and she was starting to feel a little guilty for taking all her frustrations out on the one person in this whole mess that was actually not only being genuinely nice to her, but was also trying to help her. She looked back to Gemma, was watching her curiously and took a cautious sip of her now-cooled down coffee.

"So, anyways," Gemma continued, still watching her. "Now that we've cleared the air a little, how are you really doing? I mean, you're all by yourself out there, no help, no people, no man, no parents…you look like you have your shit pretty well figured out but then again, a lot of people can put on an act."

Well-played, Gemma, Kate thought. Well-played.

So she just shrugged. "There are plenty of times when I just want to lay in bed and say screw everything. But, I always have to remember that I've worked really hard to get where I am right now…to be able to own a business, a car, and be able to make a dent in my student loans at the same time…I'm pretty proud of that. And I guess, in hindsight, once all this is over, I'll be out from under my debt with the club and will actually own the store."

"I'm sorry you had to find out about that the way you did. Otto really believed he was doing what was best for you and Clay really believed the club would never need the money he lent to your dad. But, times are tough as shit right now and it really was a last resort. If it makes you feel any better, I was just as against that idea as Jax was. I still don't see why the club couldn't try something else first…it just doesn't seem like a good idea to me."

"Well, that's because you don't really trust me." Kate said with a smile.

To her surprise, Gemma quickly caught on to the joke and threw her head back and laughed. "That might have something to do with it…yeah."

They laughed together for a few moments, each woman surprised by the humor of the situation. A few minutes before, it hadn't seemed so funny. But now, here they sat, laughing over a cup of coffee like old friends might. It was all still so surreal. Sometimes, Kate found herself wondering if she was really here, if this was really her body, if she hadn't switched into someone else's somehow. But then again, there was still that uneasiness resting at the pit of her stomach that she had a feeling wouldn't be disappearing any time soon. That gut feeling that told her no matter what Gemma, Jax, or the rest of the club did or said, there would always be imminent danger lingering around. The club really wasn't that different than what she'd seen tonight from Gemma. Sure, it might seem friendly and welcoming and purposeful—sometimes—on the outside, but on the inside, there was a hard, sharp edge, a dangerous glint that could around and snap at any moment's notice. The club was dangerous and so was Gemma. She couldn't allow herself to forget that.

On that note…

"Well," Kate said as she pushed herself up from the chair. "It's getting late and I should get going."

Gemma nodded, still watching her with careful eyes. "Right. Early morning?"

"Yeah," she replied over her shoulder as she looked for her purse.

"You sure you don't want to wait for Jax to get back? He's probably not going to happy if you just leave by yourself."

"What do you mean?" She was confused now. Why the hell would she need Jax's permission to leave?

"He's gonna want to make sure you make it home ok. Probably has plans to follow you home and spend the night again to make sure you're alright."

"Doesn't he have a son at his own house he should spend some time with?"

Gemma nodded and put a hand on her hip. "Honey, you are preachin' to the choir. But once he gets an idea in his head, that's all there is to it. That kid is more stubborn than his father…I didn't think it was possible…but, anyways, he also knows we have a nanny and me to take Abel when he needs help so the kid will be alright for another night."

Kate bit her lip, weighing her options. She really didn't want Jax to spend another night, let alone two nights in a row. She needed a god damn break from all of this and it had only been a full 24 hours. But since she was already on thin ice with him, she wasn't sure if pissing him off even further was exactly her best move right now.

"I think I'll just go now. It's not a big deal…he doesn't need to baby-sit me." The stubborn side of her won out.

Gemma looked impressed. "Alright. I'll make sure to pass along the message."

"Ok, and Gemma, thanks for dinner." She replied firmly with a nod.

Gemma smiled, the first genuine smile Kate had seen, and gently waved goodbye to her from the table. "No problem, hun; it was nice to see you again. Don't be a stranger, alright?"

Kate nodded with a faint smile. "Ok."

Then with a heavy exhale, she left the house and walked back to her Rav-4. When she was finally sitting in it, she just sat there for a moment, feeling completely exhausted and drained off all her energy. God, if she felt like this after one day, how was she going to feel by the time all this was over? She shook her head, not wanting to even consider possible answers to that question and quickly put the gear into drive and got the hell out of there.

As the club gathered around the Redwood, Jax took his place with an uneasy feeling settling at the pit of his stomach. When he made brief eye contact with Juice, he knew his suspicions were true. Juice had found the information he'd asked him to get and judging by the grave look on Juice's face, the results were worse than he'd thought. He hadn't really let himself think about what Juice might find and now that he was face to face with it, part of him was beginning to wish he'd just left it alone. But then again, given the person involved, he couldn't leave it alone.

"Let's get this party started," Clay announced. "First things first—how's everything really going at that book store?"

A few chuckles went around the table as Clay took a long pull from his cigar.

"There's nothin' to worry about," Jax began his report. "Sure, Kate's been a little…difficult…but she's let me and the prospect do everything we need without any interference. It'll take a little more time for her to get used to everything but she's going to cooperate, no problems."

Several club members nodded immediately, not needing any further reassurance. The matter had already been discussed in great length during previous church sessions and that little piece of information from Jax was all they needed to know the cargo was going to be safe.

"I still think we should bug her phone." Tig offered sullenly. He, of course, was still the sole member who was having some difficulty digesting the club's current predicament.

Jax shot him a hard look. "And we already decided that's not only unnecessary but a huge invasion of privacy."

"You decided," Tig retorted testily. "And I'm sorry brother, but when it comes to the club, nothin's private."

Jax opened his mouth to speak and start rehashing previous, already settled arguments when Opie curtly cut in to cut off the tension.

"Alright, guys—everyone knows we talked about this already—what we should be discussing is how we're going to organize the runs to Kate's store. I think we're all in agreement that Jax needs to go on every run just to keep things easier but if someone decides to start following us, don't you think it will look less suspicious if we take turns going with Jax? And—I was thinking about this more—we need to come up with a cover in case anyone starts asking questions, especially to Kate. I don't think anyone's going to believe that Jax and the prospect are really going there because they like to read."

Another round of nodding went around the table. It was definitely true—they needed to be especially careful with these runs, more so than usual, because an innocent life was potentially on the line if things went south. Jax wasn't about to allow that to happen so he was all about doing whatever needed to happen in order to keep Kate safe, as long as that plan included allowing him to go on every run to Kate's. He wasn't going to budge on that one.

"We don't need the cover right now—I don't know if we'll ever need it since this is as under the radar as under the radar could be. Let's just stick with the plan and send Jax and the prospect for now. If we need to change things up, we can, but for right now, everything's working out the way we need it to. If it's not broke, don't fix it, right?" Clay offered good-naturedly.

Opie shrugged and shook his head. "Alright…I guess."

Clay nodded with approval, satisfied that the matter had ended and that he was right. Jax ran a hand uneasily through his hair and took a long drag from his cigarette to calm him down a little. He had a feeling Clay was going to be wrong about this and that, once again, Clay's poor judgment was going to backfire which made him feel even more nervous for Kate's safety now. He was going to have to think of something, some kind of cover they could use, and let her know, even if the rest of the club didn't have to know. Anything to keep her safe.

"Alright," Clay said, "anybody got anything else?"

Jax felt his heart clench in his chest. He looked at Juice and they nodded solemnly to each other.

"I've got some information that you all should know about," Juice started with a slight catch in his voice. That immediately alerted the rest of the table that something was up and made the ever-present knot in Jax's stomach double in size. Juice looked to Jax, who took that as his cue to add some introduction to this awful story.

"Last night," he began with a deep sigh. "Kate told me she was attacked at the store. Some guy broke in, beat her up, and dragged her to the bathroom. He had her tied up and was about to do God knows what when her dog got out of her apartment and scared the guy off."

A slight murmur went around the table as it was Juice's turn now to take over.

"I was able to get a hold of the police report and it sounds like the guy, his name's Carson Cooper, had been stalking her for a couple weeks before making his move." At this point, Juice's voice started a waver a little. "He had her locked in that bathroom for over an hour and, although the police report didn't go into the dirty details, it did say that he sexually assaulted her—he didn't rape her—but he came about as close as he could before her dog got in there and just about ripped his arm off. The bastard had his pants down already and the dog tore a big piece out of his ass too. And…there's pictures of Kate in the police report after the attack. They're pretty brutal."

He threw the folder down on the table, as if just having the pictures in his hand made his stomach crawl. Jax swallowed hard and closed his eyes for a brief moment. He'd been afraid of this. Afraid that there would be evidence like this…he didn't want to look but knew he wouldn't be able to sleep until he saw exactly what happened. He was very aware the images would eat him up inside but he also knew that wouldn't be worse than not knowing exactly what she had gone through that night. He needed to know.

Clay was the first brave one and gingerly flipped the folder open. His jaw set tightly in a thin line as his eyes grazed over the pictures before he quickly shoved them over to Jax. Before he could talk himself out of it, he grabbed one of the pictures and brought it closer to his face. He felt bile rise in his throat as he looked at the image of the woman he had grown to respect and admire as much as his own mother with large purple welts underneath both eyes, one eye swollen shut, broken and bloodied lips—it looked like there were bite marks on her lips—the deep bruising on her arms, stomach, and thighs. He wanted to rip the picture up into a million pieces and then shove them down the throat of the man responsible for it. He had only felt this insurmountable rage once…after his mother told him what had happened to her…and he wanted flip over the table, if he could, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get those images out of his head. The crimson marks around her throat…the cuts on her thighs…no woman should ever have to even think about that happening to her. And that nightmare in its entirety had happened to her. He was never going to get over that.

His head was still fogged up by those images and the sheer rage that had built up in him before he realized that Juice had started speaking again.

"When the case went to trial, Kate had to testify over two days…she had to recount everything that happened that night in front of a jury. But the most interesting thing about the whole thing is that, during the trial, she had a few chances to reveal her connection to the club…if the prosecution had gotten wind of whose daughter she was, they might have spun this onto the club and turned it into part of a gang war or something. She could've sold us out then, could've told them anything she knew to make the trial easier on herself but she didn't say anything."

The table went silent as each man digested the information. Jax, for all the swirling emotions in him, did not miss the irony of this situation. Only minutes before, they had been arguing about whether or not she could be trusted. Well, if they didn't believe him now, they probably never would. And for all of Kate's bitching and moaning about wanting nothing to do with the club, she had protected both her father and the club when she could've easily given up any information she had. Her motive behind those actions, however, where still a mystery to him.

"But," Juice continued. "There's some good news about all of this…because Kate never gave up her connection to the club, the law never knew where not to send our friend Carson. You guys will never believe it but he's in the same prison as Otto. He's not due for parole for another eight years but…"

The entire table looked at each other raised eyebrows and amusement. Things certainly couldn't have worked out better.

"Well," Jax finally spoke. "I think we'd better find a way to get the word to Otto."

When Jax and Clay came back to the house, both men were surprised to find Gemma alone. Even though they were all treading through uncharted territory with this situation, given all the information they'd just learned and everything they had seen, neither wanted Kate to leave by herself.

"Kate left?" Jax asked frowning in disbelief. He cast a quick glance at Clay who just shook his head and headed for the bedroom.

Gemma shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, she did."

"Why the hell did you let her just leave by herself?" He asked, his frustration mounting.

Gemma threw her hands up in the air and rose from the chair to get closer to him. "What was I supposed to do? Tie her to a chair and gag her until you got back? The girl may be a lot of things but she's not the type to sit around waiting for a man to walk her home."

Something hitched in her voice as she spoke and Jax's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What did you say to her?"

"What?" Gemma shrugged as she walked over to the coffee pot to fill up her mug. "Want some coffee?"

His jaw was set tightly now. "Don't change the subject. What did you say to her?"

Gemma took a moment, looking at the ceiling. "I just needed to make sure I could trust her is all. We had a very nice conversation. That's it."

Jax shook his head in disgust and resisted the urge to slam his fist into the counter. It was just one thing after another. There was never a break in the bullshit. Especially when his mom was involved.

"God dammit, Mom! So what—you scared the shit of her and made her high tail it out of here before you could bite her head off some more—we both know how 'friendly' you can be. Jesus Christ…I've been working so hard to get her to trust me and now you probably just shit all over it. Great. Just god damn great."

Gemma's eyes widened and her arms instinctively attached themselves to her son's shoulders. It had been a long time since she'd seen him this worked about something and the look in his eyes was alarming.

"Jesus, Jackson…I think I rattled her a little bit but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle. She's one tough chick…shit, if she wasn't so opposed to the club she'd be one hell of an old lady for somebody. She stood up to me just the way her mom used to…for a second, I think I was actually talking to LuAnn the way she sassed back to me. Now, I'm not saying my nerves are completely settled about all this…business…but I can say that she made me feel more…comfortable…with everything. There, that settle you down a bit?"

Jax leaned back against the counter, his legs crossed out in front of him and sighed deeply.

"Jax…what's got you so upset?"

He sighed again, debating whether or not this was information Gemma needed to have. On one hand, it might potentially give her some ammunition to do whatever it was she did and manipulate Kate somehow. But on the other hand, it might be one more thing to make Gemma realize that Kate wasn't someone to be afraid of, not in the slightest.

"I have to tell you something about Kate. We just found out everything at church tonight so you have to promise me you'll keep all this to yourself." He started cautiously, hoping he wasn't making a mistake telling a story that wasn't really his to tell.

Gemma's face paled slightly and she nodded, taking a slow sip of her coffee, her eyes on him.

"Kate has this very impressive handgun at the store—she actually pulled it on us before she realized who we were—and I just had a gut feeling that something was off with it, that it was more than just for protection. She finally told me that she'd gotten attacked at the store one night after she closed everything down. The fucker had been stalking her for weeks and beat the hell out of her, dragged her to the bathroom and…"

He had to stop himself from slamming his fist once again into the counter. Hearing it had been one thing, telling it was something completely differently altogether.

"Did he—" Gemma whispered.

"No," he responded quickly, knowing exactly what she meant. "No, but he damn well tried. Had most of her clothes off, had most of his clothes off. And the worst part, Mom…the worst part is that the cops have pictures of her face, of the bruises on her body, all the shit and hurt he did to her…I will never be able to get those pictures out of my head."

"What happened?" Gemma murmured softly.

"Somehow her dog heard her scream and managed to get out of her apartment. He jumped onto the guy and just about tore him apart and the guy ran off. It's such a damn miracle—that's what saved her."

"Jesus Christ. I can't believe it."

Jax nodded in silent agreement. It was difficult to believe that the strong, stubborn, and brave woman he was getting to know again could have ever been in a situation like that. Maybe, he was beginning to realize, that was part of what had made her so strong.

They were silent for awhile, neither really knowing what to say before Gemma finally spoke:

"Wow…what kind of dog does she have?"

"A golden retriever." Jax replied with a soft laugh.

"Wow…some golden retriever…that dog deserves a damn metal or something." Gemma laughed out loud. "Do you think I should talk to her?"

Jax shook his head quickly. "No—now's probably not the best time, even if she wouldn't kill me for telling you or the club."

They were quiet for a moment, just standing in the kitchen as they tried to absorb everything. It was a lot to take in, especially for night and especially for this new connecting thread from Kate to Gemma.

"I know you're going to yell at me again for asking this," Gemma finally broke the silence. "But—there's nothing goin' on there right?"

"What?" Jax's brow furrowed in complete confusion.

"You and Kate."

"Me and Kate?"

"Yeah—I saw the way you were looking at her at dinner, the way you squirmed when I mentioned her being under or on top of some guy…you looked like you were gonna puke up your dinner. I've seen that look before, Jackson…"

"Mom," Jax held his hands up in defensive, unable to believe she was going there—especially now. "There is nothing happening here. I can't even believe you would think that. I'm just trying to make this as easy for her as possible."

"You don't think she's grown up to be a hot piece of ass?"

"Mom!"

"What?" Gemma said with a shrug. "Isn't that how you describe your…whatever they are?"

Once again, Jax held his hands up in defense. "It's not like that."

"Good," Gemma had her hands on her hips now. "It better not be like that. She's a good girl and she'd probably be good for you…but you and I both know the club is no good for her. I think we can trust her to get through this shitty situation but beyond that…she'd crack…or run…or get herself killed."

"Mom—drop this, ok? I told you; it's not like that. It's not going to be like that. This is club business. That's all."

"Come on. You can't pin how pissed off you were that she left by herself all on you wanting to act like her bodyguard now. You're pissed that she didn't say goodbye."

"You been smokin' a joint or something because you must be high."

Gemma brushed off his comment and laughed heartily.

"Ok. Just checkin'."

"The hell you were." He replied gruffly.

Gemma grinned and sent her son a sly wink. She leaned over to him and kissed him softly on the forehead. "I'm just being a good mother is all. Doing what I do best. You know that. Now, go home and spend some time with your son. That boy needs his father."

Jax nodded with a sigh and ran a hand through his now greasy hair. He grabbed his keys and kissed her quickly on the cheek before heading for the door.

"'Night, Mom." He called out as he left.

"'Night, Jax." She replied.

When the door clicked shut behind him, Gemma took another sip of her coffee and shook her head. She exhaled deeply as her eyes bored into the ceramic tiles on the floor.

"If I know my son," she murmured under her breath. "This is all going to end very badly."

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><p><strong>AN-**Why are moms always the first to know? Haha...well, I think it's safe to say that after this night, things aren't really going to be the same with Kate and Jax. They're definitely going to be treating each other differently-Kate started to feel guilty for being mean to Jax and starting to appreciate what he's doing for her (at least a little bit) and Jax feeling even more protective of her, especially now that Gemma may have called him on a few things. They're still figuring each other out so it might be a little while before they acknowledge the feelings there or do anything about them. I don't think this story would be realistic at all if they just jumped into bed. Besides...it's the build-up that counts, right? Haha...please read and review!


	5. A Breakdown, a Rest, and a Drink

**A/N-**Sorry this took a little bit longer than I'd planned but I guess life got in the way. Thanks to everyone left a review! Your comments/ideas/suggestions really keep me motivated and helps me make sure I'm keeping this story on track. This chapter should move along the relationship a little bit...not in a romantic way (not yet anyways)...but it definitely establishes more trust between them. Hope you enjoy!

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><p>LOVE SONG<p>

Chapter Five

The next morning it was business as usual. She went about her normal routine—shower, coffee, breakfast, feed Jake—and no matter what she did, she couldn't shake the anxiousness. It had started as soon as she woke up; she just felt jittery, restless, and had to stop herself from pacing around her apartment to calm her nerves. And although she would never admit it to herself, she knew exactly why this anxious feeling had taken such strong hold of her entire morning.

She had gotten all the way to the backroom to get the cash drawer out of the safe when she heard the sound of the motorcycle engine and Jake's barking. She almost dropped the cash drawer right on the floor at the sound. Her nerves were officially rattled and she had to grab tight hold of the door knob to steady herself. The previous day's events were still fresh in her mind and she wasn't sure how to handle his presence back in the store, especially so god damn early in the morning. She'd barely had time to finish her coffee let alone figure out how to deal with him.

With a deep breath and an even deeper exhale, she gripped the cash drawer tightly with both hands and headed for the front of the store to let him in. Her hands wouldn't stop shaking and she could already see him peering into the window to see if she was there. His eyes widened slightly when he saw her and then he was gone, probably to stand by the door. There was a tight, clenching sensation in her chest that was more than a little alarming; the last time she'd had this same feeling, she'd been about to sign the lease for the store. She'd been so overwhelmed with ruminations of everything that could possibly go wrong, of all the ways she could fail, that she'd had to run into the bathroom to ride it out. That was the first and only time she'd ever had a panic attack. And now she had a sinking feeling there might be another one on the way.

Jake, having intuitively known who was waiting on the other side, pawed at the door and whimpered a little.

"Oh stop," she scolded him softly. "You've known the guy what—two days and already you're throwing yourself at his feet—what a whore you are, Jake."

Jake just stared up at her; she could tell he had at the very least understood her tone but didn't care. He just kept pawing at the door, waiting for her to let his buddy in.

With another sigh, she unlocked the door and opened it quickly to let him in. He stood there for a moment, like he was unsure what to do, and then Jake solved the problem for both of them as he leapt at Jax with both front legs.

"Whoa—hey there buddy; how's it goin'?" Jax laughed. He pushed Jake down and ruffled the hair on the top of his head. Jake responded by licking him right on the cheek, causing Jax to laugh again and wipe the dog spit off his face. He glanced up at her, still with a smile on his face but that quickly faded when he noticed the blank expression on her face. For a moment, their eyes were focused on each other and she felt like he was looking right through her, right through the hardened mask she'd been fighting so hard to keep put.

"Hey Kate." He said finally. He was still looking right through her with those intense blue eyes that unnerved her. She watched carefully as he rocked back on his heels a few times, ran a hand through his hair—was he nervous too?—and still kept his eyes steadily on hers. Unlike previous encounters with him, there was no challenge in his gaze, no hint of pity, guilt, or even desperation to make her understand his point of view. It was if the playing field had shifted and they were suddenly on more equal ground, even if he still had a slight advantage in this game. She wasn't entirely sure when or where this shift had taken place and she also wasn't entirely sure what to make of this shift—would this help her or ultimately come back to bite her in the ass in the end?

"Hi Jax," she whispered finally and quickly averted her eyes away to Jake, who was running in between Jax's legs, to anything really but him. He was starting to make her feel uncomfortable.

Like always, he seemed to immediately pick on this and took a few steps into the store, putting some space between them. When she saw the direction he was heading, she found herself biting back a soft smile. He was headed straight for the café, more specifically—the brand new platter of cookies she'd just put out. Go figure. And as she watched him inspect the contents of display case, she realized that his presence had temporarily kept the panic at bay. That tightening feeling in her chest, the one that made her want to run straight for the bathroom, was no where to be found now that he was in the store, albeit a comfortable distance away from her. Go figure again.

"Alright, alright—hold on." She laughed as she quickly covered the distance from the front door to the café counter.

He already had his head lowered right to the new platter and a big smile spread across his face at her words.

"You know, it's still amazing to me," she laughed again. "Guys are happy with the littlest things…"

He looked up at her and grinned. "Yeah, well I could probably say the same thing about chicks too."

She just rolled her eyes and shook her head with a low chuckle. "Uh huh. Sure. You mean, crow eaters?"

He chewed on the inside of his cheek to hide his grin, and possibly his surprise too, at her animated response. She rarely unleashed this charming, fun side to her and at this point, he figured he knew her well enough already to not take it for granted.

"Nah…crow eaters are a little more, uh, demanding from time to time." He retorted with a lop-sided grin.

"Well, I guess you would know, wouldn't you?"

His eyes widened a little at her brazenness; he hadn't really been expecting that response but then again, he was quickly finding that she more than a little difficult to figure out.

"Ah…you got me there, darlin'."

There he went again with that 'darlin'' shit. She wanted to believe his use of that terminology with her was more condescending than anything. But, unfortunately, her gut was telling her it wasn't intended to be condescending at all. She knew, albeit begrudgingly, that he wasn't speaking to her the same way he would to a crow eater, or a sweet butt, or whatever they were called. So for lack of a better response, she slid the door open and grabbed one he'd had his eye on.

"Here, I think this was what you were looking for." She said lightly as she handed it over.

He grabbed for it with one hand and reached into his back pocket for his wallet with the other. She immediately put a hand out to stop him.

"Jax, why don't we make a deal? I'll let you pay for your meals, but the cookies are on me, alright?"

He grinned widely, making full eye contact with her for the first time since she'd met him at the counter. He nodded his agreement to their arrangement and took a big bite out of his free cookie, gouging out at least half of it in one bite.

She felt a slight flutter, a twinge of something in her as she watched him enjoy her baking and then quickly shook herself out of it. She needed to just forget she had ever felt that. It didn't take a genius to know that she was suddenly treading on much more treacherous ground than when Jax and Clay had first appeared at her door.

"Alright," Jax muffled through a half-full mouth in between bites. "So what can I do? Put me to work."

She chewed on her lip in thought. "Well, there should be a shipment of inventory—actual inventory—sometime after lunch. I wouldn't mind some help moving it around the store."

He nodded immediately, taking mental note of her biting sarcasm with the word 'inventory', and wiped his hands on his jeans. "Sounds like a plan."

He moved away from the counter, again giving her some much needed space, and headed for the back door, most likely to check on some 'things' in the basement, Jake right on his heels. She had to shake her head again at her dog—she was still reeling at his behavior around Jax, especially given the fact that he had always been testy about any guy that came within ten feet of her after…well, after. Just one more piece of the puzzle that just didn't make any sense to her.

Thankfully, Jax remained in the basement with Jake for the rest of the morning. That gave her the chance to catch her breath a little and get some work done since all this unnecessary drama with the club was already putting her a little behind with some of the upgrades she was hoping to make. There were some new recipes she wanted to try in the café and she had had finally started the process of re-organizing the layout of the store but she'd been getting a little side-tracked as of late. She supposed if anything good could possibly from this pile of shit arrangement, at the very least she could get a little extra help getting some of those things done without having to dip into her very limited funds to do it. She was still going to be paying for it, of course.

The more she thought about everything , the more that anxious feeling crept up and down her spine. It was starting to catch up with her again and she'd been putting up such a good front too. She'd been trying so hard to keep everything at bay, to keep her emotions in check and it was so god damn hard when she was alone with her thoughts. She thought about Jax, who had been trying so hard to make amends from the day before even though she'd been the one who told him to fuck himself. He hadn't deserved that then and he didn't deserve that now. Because unlike everyone else in the club, as far as she could tell, he was the only one who actually seemed to be on her side—at least as much as he could possibly be. He was treating her like a human being and she knew she couldn't put a price on that right now. Besides, the expression on his face when she'd let the bomb drop was starting to eat away at her. Guilt had never sat well with her and she wasn't having an easy time with it now.

She didn't know how much more of this she could handle in such a short amount of time, especially as that tightening feeling in her chest grew stronger and stronger.

When the UPS truck groaned to a stop outside the back door, Jax came jogging up the basement steps with Jake trotting lightly behind him. She watched tensely as he helped the delivery man unload each box into the storage area, wondering how he was able to mold himself into her life so easily. Her eyes followed him wearily as he chatted up the delivery man like they were old pals, his strong muscles flexing with every lift of a box.

So instead of watching anymore, she turned on her heel and headed back towards the front counter. There was a customer standing near the register waiting for some help and it was a more than welcome distraction from the back of the store. The last thing she needed to do was stand there and gawk like a sixteen-year-old.

When she heard the UPS truck pull away from the store, she glanced up from the counter to see Jax headed up one of the aisles, Jake close on his heels. There was a fleeting moment when she felt that flutter again as she watched them moving towards her—Jax with that lop-sided grin and Jake with his tongue hanging out in his own sort of grin—and she had to push it down again. Forget she ever felt it. She didn't have the energy or the willpower to figure out what that fluttering was or what it meant. She was too afraid to find out anyways.

"So…what do we do with all the 'inventory'?" Jax said with a smile, putting extra emphasis on the word 'inventory'.

"Well, first I have to make sure everything that's supposed to be there is actually there. Then I put it out on the shelf."

"You mean we put it out on the shelf." He replied easily, crossing his arms over his chest in mock-defiance. "I told you to put me to work and I can do more than just move some boxes off a truck."

"Alright, we put it out on the shelf." She was beyond the point of arguing. Besides, she knew he'd just do whatever he wanted anyways.

He grinned wildly at this victory, albeit a small one, and jogged back down the aisle to the storage room. She had to chuckle at his enthusiasm. Putting new inventory out definitely wasn't her favorite task at the store and if anything, she was relieved to have a little help with it. Even though she could feel her freedom…and her defenses…slowly slipping away as each minute ticked by. Jax's presence in her life wasn't something she'd wanted or needed up until three days ago and now, in spite of everything that had went down and her current situation, he was making good on his promise to make her feel anything but imprisoned. He was here to keep an eye on the club's own kind of inventory but she was quickly realizing that he was here to protect her too. From what, she wasn't sure she wanted or needed to know. He was there and she supposed she should be at least a little grateful for what he was doing for her. And she had been treating him like absolute shit—taking everything out on the one person who was actually trying to protect her.

Not to mention the fact that her nerves were already frayed from the previous night's confrontation with Gemma. Everything felt on edge, like she was going to crack at the slightest thing. She could feel the nervous breakdown coming on—she'd never had one before but she had an idea of what they felt like. The tightening of her chest, the panic creeping up the back of her neck, the stress weighing down her entire body. She'd felt it coming the moment she heard the motorcycle engines in the dead of the night and it was still coming on now. The fact that she was very aware of what was happening to her only made things worse. And she was trying desperately to push it down again, to keep the tears from flowing, to stop herself from crumbling to the floor and her energy was quickly fading.

Thankfully, Jax's voice rescued her from her thoughts.

"So, how do I know where I'm supposed to put everything?"

"Well—I can tell you what section each box goes to and then they just go in alphabetical order."

He nodded. "Alright, that doesn't seem too bad."

She nodded absent-mindedly. "Yeah."

She barely noticed that he was chewing nervously on his cheek, watching her with concerned blue eyes. He pushed the hair back from his face and rocked back a little on his heels.

"So…everything alright, Kate?" He asked quietly, still watching her, still looking right through her.

Her head snapped up at his words. "What?"

"You've been a little out of it ever since I got here this morning." He shrugged, rocking back on his heels again.

She just shook her head. "I'm fine. Don't worry about it…we've got some stuff to do here anyways."

That chest tightening, panic creeping, stress inducing feeling was back again. It was all coming down at her at once: illegal activity going on in her store, the knowledge that the store wasn't really hers, her dissolving freedom from Samcro's life of violence and crime, Gemma's suspicions and veiled accusations, and the overwhelming presence of Jax. It was too much. It was way more than any one person could handle in the span of three days. Her breathing was getting a little heavier and she pressed a hand into her chest in an attempt to ease the throbbing pain there. She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the tears to stay put and rubbed her forehead with her free hand.

Jax was immediately on alert, knowing something was going wrong here. He took a cautious step closer to her with wide eyes, and she quickly put her hands out to stop him from getting any closer.

"I'm fine…I…I just need a minute. I'll be right back."

She stepped around him and walked briskly towards the bathroom, not realizing that he was following right behind her. She flung the bathroom door open and staggered a few steps closer to the sink, gripping the edges tightly to steady herself. She could feel the tiny fissures that had crept steadily through her resolve start to make complete cracks and her legs started to shake beneath her. Without warning, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her. He turned her around and pulled her closer to him as her head leaned against the crook of his shoulder. His arms tightened around her and she felt a hand in her hair as the tears finally started to fall. Her shoulders began to shake softly and his hand moved lightly around her hair, pulling her a little closer, trying to comfort her.

She sobbed quietly into his shoulder and clung to him to keep her on her feet. Everything that had been building up inside her was finally out of her and rolling down her cheeks in a kind of bittersweet catharsis. All at once, she felt better and she felt worse at the same time. While she was finally releasing the tension and immense stress of the last three days, that still neither helped nor changed her current situation. At least she felt better. That's what she had to hang to right now. She wouldn't let herself take in what it felt like to have Jax's strong arms wrapped tightly around her and to have his hands in her hair, lightly massaging her head to comfort her. She couldn't process that right now.

She sighed as she leaned into his shoulder, finally feeling herself calm down and finally feeling how safe she felt in his arms. For the first time, she breathed him in and was pleasantly surprised to find that mix of gasoline, sweat, and whatever kind of deodorant he wore to be incredibly soothing. She had no idea what she'd expected him to smell like, she hadn't really thought she'd ever get that close anyways, and just being that close now and the fact that it was so easy was enough to make her back up, loosening his hold on her.

His arms carefully untangled themselves from around her and he rubbed her arms gently as his concerned eyes peered into hers to make sure she was going to be okay. She continued to back up until her back hit the wall and she slowly slid down to the ground; Jax followed suit and was careful to keep a good foot of space between them as they sat together on the floor of the store's bathroom. They just sat there, her staring ahead at the wall and him chewing nervously on the inside of his cheek.

"I'm sorry," she whispered finally, unable to turn to look at him but she could already see him shaking his head.

"No," he replied hoarsely. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

She sighed and rubbed her legs anxiously. "Yes I do. I've been…I shouldn't have said the things I said to you yesterday. You've been…well, for lack of a better word…really nice to me the last couple of days and maybe it's just because I didn't expect that from you or I'm just in shock or still dealing with all this but you didn't deserve to be spoken to like that."

He was silent for a moment as he took in everything she said, still chewing on the inside of his cheek. "Like I said, you don't have anything to be sorry for. Hell, if the roles were reversed, I don't think I'd even have been half as calm about all this shit as you."

She laughed bitterly and shook her head. "Calm? Yeah right. Just because I've been putting on a brave face doesn't mean anything. I've felt like I was going to vomit, tear out my hair, and have a panic attack all at the same time ever since all this shit started. One of those things has actually happened now so I guess we'll have to start a countdown until the other two come into play."

"Most people would have either bailed, had a nervous breakdown, or called the cops long before…well, before you took some time here just now. There's no shame in needing a couple minutes, Kate. Most people would need a hell of a lot more than that."

"Still doesn't change anything though."

He just shrugged and tucked some stray hair behind his ear. "Maybe not but at least you feel better, right?"

She smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah, I guess I do…I really am sorry for telling you to fuck yourself. I meant it but I didn't, you know?"

He laughed lightly and grinned at her, both of them making eye contact for the first time since they'd sat down. "Yeah, I know. You're not the bad guy here, Kate. Hell, I'm the one that's screwing with your life right now. You have every right to put me and the club in our place. We shouldn't be taking advantage of you like this…I'm the one who needs to apologize."

She just sighed and shook her head. "You already have, Jax. Besides, I know if there was something you could do, you would so what difference does it make, anyways? We could play the 'what if' game until we're blue in the face and it wouldn't make a difference. I know I just need to suck it up and wait for all this shit to be over so my life can go back to normal. I just wish I knew when that was going to happen."

"I wish I had an answer for you," he sighed. "But I don't think anyone really knows that right now."

She nodded and again, a more comfortable silence emerged between them. After all this, some of the underlying tension and uneasiness between them had subsided a little. Whether she liked it or not, something had changed the moment he put his arms around and she started crying into his shoulder.

"Hey," he broke through her thoughts. "Why don't you go upstairs and rest for awhile? Take a nap, watch some TV, relax a little…I can hold down the fort for the rest of the day. If you just point in the direction where some of those boxes need to go, I can handle the rest."

She frowned and bit her lip as she contemplated his suggestion. "What about the customers? Have you ever used a cash register before?"

"So, you scan the barcode, hit enter, and give them their change, right?" He laughed. "I think I can figure it out. Hey, if I have questions, I'll just call. It's not like you're going to be that far away, right?"

"Right…" she trailed off, feeling very uneasy about leaving her store in the hands of biker guy who didn't know the first thing about using a cash register, let alone customer service in a bookstore. But then again, she had no idea when she was going to have another chance to have some time off. She hadn't had any real time off in…way, way too long. Almost two years. Maybe part of her breakdown today had something to do with the fact that she was practically working herself to the bone and was already under enough stress managing a business on her own. All she'd needed was one more push in the wrong direction. And here she'd thought had been doing so well on her own.

Maybe a little rest, even if it was just for a couple of hours, would be good for her.

"So you'll man the store for the rest of the day…?" She asked slowly.

He held up his hands in defense. "I promise—no fights, no fires, no crimes…scout's honor."

She was still a little unsure about this whole thing. She wanted and needed the break but still…

"Alright," she conceded with a sigh. "But if you're not sure about anything—call me. Please."

"Sure thing, darlin'." He grinned.

She was too tired to deal with that shit too. Enough was enough. It was time for bed.

"Whatever…I'm going to take a nap but again, don't hesitate to call if you need some help." She called over her shoulder as she headed for the stairs to her apartment.

"Got it, boss."

When she finally collapsed into bed, it took her a moment to realize just how exhausted she was. Her whole body felt like it had been hit by a truck and as Jake curled up against her, she laid her head against him, finally feeling her body begin to relax. Everything just kind of faded away and it felt so good. It wasn't going to be a full day's rest but hell, this was good as it was going to get and since she'd already left the store in some slightly questionable hands, she figured there was no going back now. Might as well milk this for all it was worth. Within moments, she was sleeping soundly with Jake tucked under her arm and keeping watch over her as she slept.

By quarter to seven, she finally rolled over and glanced at the clock. With a sigh, she pulled the covers back and padded down to the store. She was almost afraid to go down there; Jax had had run of the whole store for almost eight hours and she couldn't stop herself from conjuring up images of rows of books on fire, shelves knocked over, and customers screaming at her for leaving her store for even a second.

But as Jake pulled out in front her and raced towards the front of the store, she looked around in complete bewilderment. The place was still standing and nothing was on fire. Wonders never cease.

When she caught sight of Jax, he nodded and winked at her as he handed a bag to a customer. Her eyes widened with surprise as he wished the customer a good night and thanked him for visiting the store. He shut the cash register, hit a few buttons and then walked out behind the counter to greet her.

"Hey," he grinned, bending down to ruffle Jake's fur as he spoke. "Get a good rest?"

She nodded with a small smile, once again feeling some sort of pull as she watched him with her dog. "Yeah. It was just what I needed actually. Everything go ok here?"

He grinned up at her with a sly smile. "Of course. Who do you think you're talkin' to here? Now, I'll admit it took me a few turns to figure out how all that computer shit worked but I got it. At least enough to handle the basics. And I'm happy to tell you that I figured out how to work the coffee machine too."

Her eyebrows raised and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing. He was so damn proud of himself it was almost cute. "Wow. So you can be trained."

He winked at her again. "I guess so."

With another sigh, she headed into the café to start cleaning up and closing everything down.

"Anything I can help with?" Jax called from the other side of the store.

"Um…" She rested a hand in her hip as she chewed on her lip in thought. "Well, you can probably lock the doors. You don't have to do anything with the computer…I can handle that. Um…would you mind taking a quick sweep around the floor with the vacuum?"

He just shrugged. "Sure thing."

They both set to work and by the time it was officially closing time, everything was done. She sighed and collapsed into a nearby chair in the café.

"Well, we made it through another day." Jax said softly from behind her. He pulled out the chair across from her and dropped himself into it. He looked just as tired as she felt. It seemed like the stress of the last few days had taken its toll on him too.

"Yeah, I guess we did." She replied softly.

"I really need a drink." He sighed.

She laughed weakly and nodded. "Yeah, same here."

He seemed to perk up a little and shifted forward in his chair. "Hey, where could we go for a couple? There's gotta be somewhere close by. I need a beer."

"Was it really that bad today?"

He frowned and tilted his head to one side. "What? No. It's not that at all. It's just…shit's been rough lately. Hard times calls for hard drinks, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I know what you mean. Well, there's a place right down the street. It's kind of a dive but…"

"Sounds like it's right up my alley, darlin'. Let's get outta here." He said with a wide grin.

She couldn't help but grin back. "Alright."

* * *

><p>"You know how to play and everything, right?"<p>

"Jesus Christ, I wouldn't have asked if you wanted to play pool if I didn't know how."

Jax grimaced and took a quick pull from his beer. "Right. You're breakin' then."

"Fine. Right after you get another round. It's your turn to buy, you know." She replied with some sass. He cocked an eyebrow her way before turning on his heel and getting two more beers from the bartender.

The alcohol was giving her some renewed energy and despite her better judgment, she was having a pretty good time. Next to the afternoon off earlier that day, letting loose was making her feel a little bit better. Even if she'd had some time to do this before, she hadn't really had anyone to do it with before now. She hadn't ever been to this particular bar before but Jax certainly fit right in, even if she didn't. There were multiple bikes parked out front and the place itself was a little rough but she'd been to slightly worse establishments before in college. The only difference was that those times she'd been with a huge group of friends for some girls' nights and not with biker guy, even if he wasn't wearing his cut.

By the time Jax was back with their drinks, she'd already taken the first shot and hit a ball in. Jax stood there for a moment with a confused expression on his face as if he was trying to reconcile that she could, in fact, play a pretty good game of pool. Not to mention put away more than a couple of beers. It was a good thing they had walked over from the store because neither one of them was going to capable of driving by the night's end.

"So…I assume you didn't hone your pool skills at a martini bar in college." He stated evenly.

She laughed and handed him the stick for his turn. "Something like that, yeah."

"Were you a party girl, Kate?" He teased, looking up at her as he leaned closer to the table to take his shot.

She took a pull from her beer and turned it around a couple of times in her hand before answering. "I wouldn't exactly call myself a party girl. I didn't even really drink all that much until my junior year and I figured out pretty quickly that parties, well at least the kind of house parties at my school, were pretty lame."

"Bars then, huh?" He leaned against the pool stick while he listened with a smile.

"Yeah, all my friends got fakes so of course, I had to get one too. When my last semester of school rolled around, I think somewhere along the way I realized that that was my last real opportunity to party so we all starting going out Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays…sometimes Wednesdays if one of us was having a rough day. I guess if I ever really partied, it was then. Got it all out of my system…when you graduate and have to be solely responsible for a business, you don't really have room on the agenda for partying, you know? Have to be a grown up."

His eye brows rose and a sly grin spread across his face. "Wow…I guess you really do learn something new every day."

"What do you mean?"

He handed the pool stick back to her and grinned. "I wouldn't have pegged you for the type to do that kind of hard partying."

"Hey," she laughed. "In my defense, it's not like I came home falling down drunk every night. Most of the time it was just to blow off steam with the girls…just having some fun."

"Do you ever see them? Your friends from school?"

She shook her head with sad smile. "Not really. Everyone's got their own lives, some of them have families, some of them moved pretty far away too…I guess life just happened is all. Besides, even if that wasn't the case I still wouldn't have much time for friends anyways."

He nodded slowly, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He took another pull from his beer and leaned down on the table with both arms spread out. "Me neither, if it makes you feel any better."

"What're you talking about? You have the club, right?"

He shook his head. "Nah, it's not really the same thing as what you were talkin' about. Things have been a little…complicated…with the club anyways."

"I guess that explains all the tension at dinner last night."

He frowned and waited until he took his next shot before responding. "Sorry you had to deal with that shit last night. I know Gemma was her usual charming self."

She laughed lightly and took another drink. "She was completely frightening."

"Is that why you took off then?" He was looking straight at her now, his eyes watching her with more intensity than before.

She shifted nervously under his gaze and bit her lip. "I just kinda needed to get out of there. I guess being the daughter of one of the first nine and a dead porn producer isn't enough to earn the club's trust but seems to be enough to condemn me, right?"

"It's not like that, Kate. I know she's got a fucked up way of doing it but she was just trying to look out for everybody. It wasn't anything against you…it's just a shitty situation."

It took a moment before she could answer. "I guess."

"Hey…" he leaned over the table so he could get a little closer. "I know you need to split but the next time you need to take a ride into Charming, can you please…just for the sake of my sanity…let me at least follow you home?"

"Why?" She hadn't meant it to be a challenge but it almost sounded like one.

"We still need to be careful, especially in Charming. Just because the last couple of days have gone smooth doesn't necessarily mean all this shit is in the clear. I gotta make sure you're safe and that no one is following you home."

"Wow, way to kill my buzz, Jax. I think you owe me another drink just for that."

He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "So…you understand though, right?"

"Yeah."

She took her shot and swore under her breath when she missed. Neither one really knew what to say for a while as Jax had effectively killed both their buzzes with the sudden sober change in subject. She'd been having such a great time, letting loose, having a couple of beers…

"You know, it's been a really long time since I've had a chance to go somewhere and have a couple of beers, play a little pool…thanks for taking me."

He nodded slowly. "Sorry I'm being such a buzz kill."

"Don't worry about it…hey, how's your son doing? Gemma told me a little bit about what happened when he was born…"

His eyebrows rose slightly. "Well…you must have getting along a little bit if she started talkin' about Abel."

"I guess," she laughed. "But, seriously, how's he doing? You probably haven't been able to see him much the last couple of days."

"He's a tough little guy, that's for sure. And hey, don't worry about me not being able to see him…he's got my mom and a nanny to help me out. Things will settle down…you just gotta give it a couple more days and you won't be seein' so much of me."

"Oh…ok."

"Did Gemma tell you about Abel's mom too?" He asked quietly.

"A little bit," she nodded. "I'm sorry about all that…I can't imagine what that must have been like when he was born. A junkie for a mom…I can relate."

"Yeah," he replied slowly, still watching her carefully. "You know, the next time you get into Charming, you should come by my house and meet him."

"I'd like that."

"Good." He smiled softly. "You know...while I'm thinkin' of it, the club is throwing me a birthday party next week. You should come."

Her heart twisted a little in her chest. Going out for a couple of beers with Jax was one thing. It was a way to blow off steam, it was on her turf, and her apartment was right down the street. It was another thing completely to show up at a club sponsored party. That was getting too close for comfort to the club and everything else that went along with it. Part of her wanted to go, but then she realized how dangerous that could potentially be, in more ways than one.

"You think about it…let me know, ok?" He went on with a smile, having picked up on her hesitation.

"Sure." She responded weakly.

"Why don't you finish that beer…it's probably getting past your bedtime, right?" He grinned.

"Shut up," she laughed. "But yeah, I guess we should get going."

He watched with somewhat disbelieving eyes as she chugged the rest of her beer. He chuckled to himself as he followed her out the door and headed back towards her apartment. It was less than a block away but in the darkness, it felt like much longer. She shivered a little, suddenly wishing she had remembered to grab a jacket. She felt cold but it wasn't necessarily because of the chilly night.

Jax seemed to sense this and without either of them really realizing, he moved a little closer to her as they continued walking down the street.

"You feel safe here, right?" He asked quietly.

She closed her eyes for a moment and rubbed her hands against her arms to warm herself up a little. That was a loaded question and there were too many different ways to interpret it and too many different ways she could answer it. Up until three days ago, she'd been managing. She'd been surviving. She'd been as far away from the club as she could possibly get. And now that the club had pushed itself back into her life, everything had crumbled. Her resolve, her defenses, her independence, her nerves…it hadn't taken very long and that was most likely because it had all been a long time in coming. She'd always known it was only a matter of time before the club finally caught up to her, that she couldn't run forever. The problem was that the life she'd carved out for herself wasn't necessarily a fulfilling one. She had the store and she had Jake and at one point, she'd also had a stalker who'd held her at knifepoint and tried to rape her. She didn't go outside after dark; that was actually part of the reason why she closed the store at seven. She held everyone at arms length, even her customers, and couldn't allow herself to even wonder about her one surviving parent. If she was being completely honest with herself, she hadn't really felt safe in a long time. And now that Samcro cast an overwhelming shadow over her, she had to ask herself: did she feel safe now?

She looked at Jax and he tilted his chin towards her with a soft smile. It wasn't a hard decision to make.

"Yeah," she finally whispered. "I feel safe now."

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><p><strong>AN**-So...one step closer in the right direction. Like I've said before, these two aren't just going to fall into bed together but for those of you that are worried about Kate moving too quickly with her feelings for Jax...the next two chapters will move a few big steps closer to admitting some romantic feelings and then the events of those chapters will push her about ten huge steps back in the other direction. This story is all about the push and pull of family and their feelings for each other. Kate still has a long ways to go before she can ever reconcile who her family is and her place in it.

That being said...please read and review. I love, love, love reading what you have to say and it truly keeps me motivated to get these chapters up faster. The more reviews I get, the more motivated I get...just saying ;) R/R!


	6. I'm Done

**A/N-**Thanks again for all the reviews, alerts, and favorites. Also...I have to mention the reviewers who are leaving me several paragraphs of feedback-I've written plenty of stories on here before (under a different penname) and I've never gotten such lengthy feedback before. It really means a lot that you've taken the time to do that and it also lets me know that I must be doing something right-thanks again!

This chapter is a little shorter than I would've liked but it's been way too long since I updated. So here is where it really starts to hit the fan (and the ten steps back that I was talking about). Hope you enjoy!

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><p>LOVE SONG<p>

Chapter Six

"Alright, boys," the guard yelled out gruffly. "Two more minutes and it's back inside."

Carson Cooper shook his head from where he sat, trying to beat some old man with an eye patch at poker. He would've won too if he had at least another half hour to rack up the cigarettes they were betting with but prison just didn't allow for that kind of luxury.

"The way they talk to us, you'd think we were caged animals or something." He muttered to the old man across from him.

When the man didn't respond, he just shrugged. He'd gotten used to 'prison manners' over the year he'd spent there and was accustomed to his fellow inmates' sporadic if not erratic behavior. Everyone, on some level, was the same guy outside as they were in the pen. It was just that their normal behavior, their normal tendencies were magnified by about a thousand. And most of the time it was only about survival. Still, a rat outside was still going to be a rat inside. A gang member on the outside was still a gang member inside. A good man on the outside was still a good man inside; at least most of the time. Prison still had a way of bringing out the worst in anyone regardless of their nature.

If he had learned anything during his year spent in the pen, it was that prison was nothing but a game. Get in with the right guards, get in with the right inmates and you were golden. Trouble was, it was difficult to figure out just which guards and inmates were the right ones and which ones were the wrong ones. So with some trial and error, he had managed to make some friends in the right places. Friends that were watching out for him. He had their backs and they had his. He only had four more years until he could try for parole and he was pretty confident he could make it through his tenure here with only a few scrapes.

He reached into his front pocket and ran a hand lightly over his only remaining picture of her; it was even more precious to him because of the lengths he'd had to go to smuggle the picture into prison with him. Just touching it set him at ease, made him calm. He hadn't looked at her face in a few hours so he snuck the picture from his pocket and stared at it from underneath the table. Damn, she was beautiful. He had almost made her his forever, almost gotten everything he'd been working and prepping for. Too many damn interruptions and that god damn dog. He was going to have fun torturing and killing that dog.

"Whatta you got there?" The man across the table asked roughly, throwing him from his thoughts.

"What…oh nothing, it's just a picture of my girl. She's waiting for me to get out you know." He smiled at the thought of her working at the store, putting books on the shelves, making him lunch, making his day when she smiled at him for the first time.

"Can I see it?"

He looked up in a moment of alarm; he had never shared her with anyone before and he wasn't necessarily about to do it now, especially not for this old man who would probably just use her image later that night to jack himself off senseless. She was that beautiful. But there was something in the old man's functioning eye that told him not to refuse, that he didn't want this man as an enemy. He vaguely remembered seeing the man around the yard, sometimes in the library, and if he remembered correctly, the old man was usually visited by a younger looking guy with longer blonde hair…must be his son or something. The old man eyed warily, still waiting impatiently and he knew he couldn't delay any longer.

He gingerly pushed the picture across the table and felt a low, dull ache in the pit of his stomach as the other man took in his beloved. For a moment, neither said anything.

"Well, she sure is a beauty," the old man finally uttered hoarsely. "When was this taken? It doesn't seem like a usual picture."

"Yeah, well…she didn't exactly know her picture was being taken. I think I captured her smile perfectly though, don't you think? She has the most beautiful laugh too…I wish there was a way I could've recorded that…I think it would help me sleep better at night."

The old man nodded slightly and ran a thumb gently over her face. That was about all he could handle.

"Can I have my picture back now, please?" He asked as politely as he could, given the circumstances.

"Sure, sure…you said she was waiting for you?"

He smiled proudly and nodded. "Yeah, she sure is."

"But she doesn't visit you?"

His smile dropped into a frown. "No…how would you know that?"

The right side of the old man's face curled up into a menacing grin. "Nobody visits you but your mother. You know…I think I read something about you in the paper a while back, I knew your name sounded familiar, I just couldn't place it before. You're the guy who broke into that bookstore and beat the shit out of the owner…you almost raped her too, didn't you? Come on, man, that's gotta be you. Shit…is this the same girl? You're carrying around her picture too?"

He couldn't say anything. His throat felt dry and tight and he couldn't make words come out even if he wanted to.

"That's some sick shit, man." The old man laughed and tossed the picture back at him. "Guy like you will probably get what's coming to him."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

The old man folded both hands on top of the table and was staring at him, a kind of wild look in his eyes. What had he ever done to this old man to make him treat him this way? He had just been minding his own business anyways when he'd asked him to play a game of poker. He was started to seriously regret that decision.

"It means that scumbags like you, the kind of guys that hurt women, will always get it back to them, threefold at least. I'd watch your back if I were you…the wrong guy finds out about what you did, the kind of guy with a daughter himself and the kind of guy who gets sick just at the thought of guys like you, and he might just decide to use you as a pincushion."

He grabbed his picture from the table and fumbled his way off the chair, desperate to get away from this man. "Well…it was nice, um, playing poker with you. See you around, man."

He scurried away from this terrifying man and headed straight for the yard exit, wanting to get as close to a nearby guard as possible.

A few hours later, he was working his usual job, mopping floors. It was a tedious job but it gave him the time to think about who was waiting for him on the other side, even if she didn't know it yet. And even if she was waiting for him, he would most definitely be waiting for her when the time was right. When he was finally out of this pen and could finally hold her in his arms, smell her hair, and taste her again. It had been such a tease, getting so close yet so far away from what he'd fantasized about for so long. But in a few short years, he would be able to touch her soft skin and smell her sweet flowery perfume again. And tear that dog apart limb by limb.

He pushed the mop bucket a little further ahead of him and continued pushing and pulling the mop back and forth. He thought he heard a low creak behind him and shifted on his heel to survey the space behind him. There was nothing there. He went back to his job, humming softly under his breath but there it was again, the creaking behind him, and now it sounded more like shuffling, like someone was coming up behind him.

In a split second, he felt his legs going out from under him and his back was slamming against the floor. A cold hand came down over his mouth and the man's face finally came into the light. His eyes widened with fear and shock as he realized his assailant was the man he had played poker with earlier that day. He started to struggle but to no avail; the man had him planted firmly onto the floor.

"I bet you're wondering who I am," the man whispered lowly into his ear, making him shiver. "I bet you're wondering what I would ever have against you. Hell, we barely know each other, right? What could you have possibly done that would set me off, make me want to kill you slowly and painfully…"

He was whimpering now, trembling underneath the man's iron-tight grip. He struggled again but the man just pushed his weight further down on top of him, causing him to panic. He knew what was going to happen now, knew that he was going to die. He just didn't know why.

"I'm that girl's father," the man whispered. "You stalked her, tied her up, violated her. You did unspeakable things to her body that night; so now, I'm doing to do unspeakable things to you."

His eyes widened and the man's hand muffled out a scream. The man shifted his weight and took out a knife from his pocket. He ran the cold blade lightly down Carson Cooper's face and grinned with a menacing glint in his eye.

"Remember what I said about using you as a pincushion?"

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><p>Kate jogged over to the door, unlocked it and flipped on the open sign. She sighed as she surveyed the clear skies and tried to imagine what that warm breeze might feel like on her skin. The only time she ever really got to relax and enjoy the warm California sun was on Sundays, and even then, she was too concerned about catching up on lost sleep than anything else. Jake was lucky if he got a walk…and she couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten to work out. She used to love running; it took her away from everything, made her forget what she was running from, literally and figuratively. Now life had gotten in the way and she just didn't have time for getaways, even if it was only for a short period.<p>

"It's pretty nice outside today, huh?" Jax said softly from behind her.

She jumped a little at the sound of his voice. She turned to face him and for a fleeting moment, realized that his eyes were almost exactly the same color as the sky she'd just been watching. He always seemed to sense what she was thinking, what she was feeling and as she found herself looking into his sapphire sky eyes, she was having a difficult time remembering what she'd been thinking about in the first place.

"Uh…yeah. Too bad we're stuck in here, right?"

A sly grin slid onto his face and he cocked an eyebrow at her. "We don't have to be."

She just rolled her eyes and tossed a pack of inventory sheets at him. "When you're done with that inventory, maybe I'll let you out…maybe."

She heard him laughing all the way to the end of the store and shook her head with a small smile. She took a quick sip from her coffee cup as she watched him move purposefully from one shelf to another, carefully checking the inventory print-out every few seconds, and occasionally making a few notes. Her lips turned up slightly at the crunched-up expression of concentration on his face and had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep her lips from widening to a full-blown grin. He had taken her orders for the last few days in complete stride without any objection and had made no further mention of her breakdown since the night they'd went out for drinks. That was the thing with Jax—he knew they had both said everything they'd needed to say that day and now there was no need to bring it up again. They didn't have to speak to understand each other and she was very aware how rare that was, especially in her life.

After an hour of watching him complete several inventories and not doing much else herself, Kate was beginning to feel guilty. She hadn't intended to let him do all the work but she'd gotten a little side-tracked. That was happening a lot when he was around.

"Hey," she called out. "It's about time for you to take a break. Do you want to test out my latest creation?"

His head immediately popped up from over a shelf, his eyes wide with hunger and anticipation. A split second later, she saw his blonde head walking up the aisle and straight for the café.

"I guess I don't have to ask you twice." She laughed.

"Darlin'," he replied with a grin. "You didn't even have to ask me the first time."

She just shook her head and set the warm plate in front of him. "So I'm thinking of adding this to the menu pretty soon…let me know what you think. It's a tuna melt with pepper-jack and tomato."

He hardly let her finish speaking before he was already snatching a half off the plate and shoving it into his mouth. He moaned a little as he started chewing and closed his eyes, giving her a thumbs up with his free hand.

"Wow," he murmured in between bites. "This is…oh god…"

"I'll take that as a 'yes, Kate; put it on the menu'." She laughed, sliding a few napkins over to him.

"I mean...I've had tuna melts before, my mom makes a pretty good one too but this is just…this sandwich is tits. Don't tell her I said that. Please. She just might kill me."

"Don't worry…I won't. Well, since it was a hit with you, I'm assuming it'll be a hit with the customers too. I suppose I should get it on the menu pretty soon then."

He nodded, too busy eating to really answer her. She laughed again and set a soda on the table for him.

"I'm going to run outside to grab the mail and the paper. Be right back…come on Jake."

"Sure, you'll let _him_ out…" came the muffled response.

She turned back and grinned at him, then headed for the front door, Jake following closely behind her. When she got outside, she stood there on the steps for a moment, taking in the warm sun. A light breeze blew into her hair and she closed her eyes. It felt so good to be outside, to have a few moments to just breathe and relax a little. The warmth seemed to envelope her and she looked up, smiling at the sapphire sky, knowing the person whose eyes matched was mostly responsible for her ability to step out and enjoy the sunlight.

While this was no where near an ideal situation, it wasn't nearly as bad as she'd originally thought it would be, she thought as she jogged to the mailbox. She had some help and some free time for once. And having Jax around wasn't all that bad. It was nice to have someone around to talk to who wasn't on four legs. She supposed there were worse things in the world than having to put up with the presence of a shaggy-haired, protective, chiseled, attractive, albeit slightly greasy, a little rough around the edges, biker outlaw. Yeah…things could be worse.

She flipped through the mail and tucked a few bills under her arm for later. She grabbed the paper and absentmindedly scanned the front page for anything interesting. When she turned over the page, her eyes fell to the local section and felt the air leave her lungs as her eyes found these words:

"An inmate at Clarke County Prison was found brutally dismembered with multiple stab wounds late Thursday evening. The inmate, Carson Cooper, had been serving a five-year sentence for breaking and entering, aggravated assault, and attempted rape. County officials have released a statement indicating their intent to investigate the circumstances surrounding Cooper's death…"

She didn't need to read anymore to know who'd been responsible for her attacker's death. She stood there just staring at the page, willing the words to change. Her vision blurred as the words began to swim and swerve around on the page. She took a wobbly step closer to the front door and felt her heart clench in her chest. Shock and horror was slowly giving way to unbridled rage. Scarlet sparks clouded her vision as she grabbed tight hold of the door and viciously swung it open to come face to face with the real culprit behind her rage.

"Hey, Kate—where is the—"

She cut him off by thrusting the paper into his face. "What the fuck is this, Jax?"

"Whoa…what's going on, Kate?"

"The paper…don't tell me you didn't know." She venomously spat out.

Before she even finished speaking, he snatched the paper from her shaking hands and skimmed it for whatever she was talking about. When he finally landed on the story that had set her fuming, he swallowed nervously before casting a queasy glance in her direction.

"I…I don't know what to tell you, Kate. I didn't know he was going to…"

"Don't fucking lie to me, Jax. You knew exactly what he was going to do when he found out. There was only one way he could have found out in the first place because the only member of Samcro I shared that information with was you."

She paused for dramatic effect and smiled ruefully when he, again, swallowed nervously under her blazing glare. His discomfort now was only a small victory but it was a victory nonetheless. He was going to be in for whole lot of discomfort by the time she was through with him. She'd barely had time to make sense of the tornado of emotions she was whirling through. She might have been silently rejoicing at her attacker's grisly demise had it been at the hands of anyone other than her father, or a member of Samcro for that matter. A fight with another inmate was one thing; that would be karma—justifiable karma. This was something else entirely.

"Well, I…" Jax stammered. "I thought you might have been…a little happy about this, regardless of how it happened…that guy was a psycho and he hurt you. You and I both know he would've done it again."

"I can't argue with that; you're right, he was psycho and he hurt me. But the club had no right taking the law into its own hands, not like this, and not because of me."

"We were protecting you. Otto had a right to know…"

"It wasn't your story to tell Jax."

"But it's done now; it's over, Kate. You don't have worry about him ever hurting you again…" He trailed off when he saw the look in her eye.

She began to shake her head furiously, ripping the paper out of his hands and throwing it to the floor in disgust. "It was over before that, Jax. He was arrested, he had a trial, the jury fucking found him guilty of everything he did to me. It was over. He was in jail. Do you know how many hours of therapy it took for me to just get to sleep at night? To not have nightmares? To be able to be in the store without thinking that every customer was coming into the store to drag me back to the bathroom? There's a god damn reason why I close the store at seven, Jax. But it was behind me; I was figuring it out and he was in jail where he belonged. It was done. If I really wanted some sort of sick, demented revenge, don't you think I would have went to Samcro right after it happened or even after the trial? I knew he was in the same prison as my dad but I didn't care because all I really cared about was the fact that he was in jail. And I told you all of that, all of the shit that happened to me, because…because I thought I could trust you, Jax."

He shifted anxiously at her words, again swallowing the lump that had risen to his throat. He couldn't look her in the eye, not after everything she'd said. On some level, she was right. She was totally right. But she didn't understand his reasons. What the hell could he do or say to make her understand? She was too pissed off right now to think straight anyways.

"He was going to be out in four years, Kate." He whispered hoarsely, finally meeting her eyes for the first time.

"I don't care. It was none of your business. You had no right to get involved, especially since there was nothing to get involved with."

"I was just trying to look out for you…to make sure he wouldn't come after you again…"

"Bullshit," her eyes burned into him as she spoke. "Here I thought you were actually on my side."

"I _am_ on your side, Kate." He pleaded. "I've always been on your side."

"You weren't doing anything but protecting the club's investment with the store. That's all this has ever been about—you're just Clay's little bitch, aren't you? Doing all his dirty work…"

He shook his head and reached out to touch her arm before stopping himself. They were right back where they had started.

"I don't know what I can say." He murmured simply, shrugging his shoulders in defeat. "All I've been trying to do is keep you safe. I guess I fucked up…I didn't mean to."

She was silent for a moment as she struggled to gain control over her conflicting emotions. On one hand, she wanted to kick, scream, scratch anything she could get her hands on. She had never been so enraged, so incensed, so livid in her entire life and that was really saying something given all the shit life had already put her through. And on the other hand, she wanted nothing more than to curl up into a tiny little ball and sob.

"I just…I didn't think you would…I just didn't think you would tell anyone. It's not like I'm trying to keep it a secret but the last thing I wanted to do was get dragged through everything again. I've worked really hard to put it behind me, to forget about it, and when he got out, I was going to deal with it then and take all the necessary precautions so he couldn't get to me again. Couldn't you have just…asked…me if it was alright to tell the club? I'm not sure what I would have said but maybe I wouldn't feel so disappointed right now."

"I'm sorry, Kate." His eyes pleaded with her to understand, to find a way to accept that he really hadn't meant to hurt her, that his actions were about more than just the club and that the absolute last thing he wanted to do was disappoint her but she just couldn't.

"I am too." She replied softly. After a moment's thought, she stepped around him to grab her purse from behind the counter and called for Jake. Before Jax could register what was happening, she switched the open sign off and locked the front door.

"What are you doing?"

She sighed and met his stormy blue eyes, racked with guilt and desperation. For a moment, she almost believed him. Almost believed that his actions had more to do with her than about the club. But she would be an idiot to believe that. He was the vice-president after all and his priorities were very clear. She'd trusted him, confided in him with something so deeply personal and he just turned around and reported it to Clay like a soldier doing re-con. Just business. That was it. Well, as far as she was concerned, she had had enough with doing business with Samcro. They'd interfered too much with her life, with her freedom, with her sanity, and now had crossed the line. Consequences be damned; she was going to end this once and for all.

"I'm done, Jax."

"What?"

"I'm done with this, with all this. I'm going to see Clay. I don't care if you follow me or don't follow me into Charming but I'm going." She answered calmly, with steely reserve. Then, she turned on her heel and headed towards the back door where her Rav-4 was waiting for her with Jake right behind her.

It only took Jax a moment to realize the depth of what she'd said.

"Oh shit." He muttered under his breath. He took off down the aisle and raced to the door to stop her, to talk some sense into her, to make her realize that she was about to test fate—and very soon be at the mercy of Clay, especially if she did what he thought she was going to. And if she did…then there would be very little he could do to save her from Clay's wrath.

But by the time he flung the door open, she was already gone.

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><p><strong>AN-**Ok, so I wasn't going to write in Otto's revenge...but I got enough requests for it so I couldn't help myself. I hope you liked it!

So things are about to go from bad to worse now. Jax is really the least of her worries with this whole situation, even if he's the one who has really hurt her the most...and she doesn't even know that he saw the pictures yet! Clay is a whole other animal that, in her emotional state right now, she hasn't taken the time to stop and think about what confronting him might mean for her. We all know what Clay is capable of when his club and way of life is threatened and this will be no exception. She's completely going to be gambling with more than just her business in the next chapter...and maybe she'll start to understand how and why Jax has been protecting her...something to look forward to for the next chapter, right?

Ok, so you all know how much I love those reviews so please keep them coming! I'll try my best to get the next chapter up as quickly as possible and lots of reviews will only motivate me! R/R!


	7. Where Do We Go From Here?

**A/N-**Ok, so here's technically the second half of the last chapter. I had wanted to get something up so I posted the last chapter as the first part of two...and that chapter was definitely the loved it or hated it chapter. At the very least, I'm glad you guys feel so strongly about the the story/characters that you let me know how you felt about that chapter. Hopefully, this second part should answer any lingering questions you have as well as set up the things to come in the next few chapters. Anyways, thanks to everyone who alerted/reviewed! Enjoy...

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><p>LOVE SONG<p>

Chapter Seven

Everything seemed to swirl around her in a mash of greens, blues, and reds. Everything was blurry. And nothing seemed to make sense to her anymore. Her thoughts were swirling around in her head almost as nonsensically as the road and trees around her. She had to slow down. She had to figure out what the hell was going on. The roar of a motorcycle engine snapped her back into reality and a quick glance in the rearview mirror made her heart drop into her stomach.

The burning question wouldn't expunge itself from her mind: what was she really upset about? Even in the ten minutes she'd spent driving, she hadn't really been able to make sense of the tornado that had just passed through. As she gripped the steering wheel tighter, she felt Jake nudge her arm from the backseat. A faint smile crossed her face and she reached behind her to ruffle the top of his head. He always seemed to know when she was at her breaking point, when she was tense and about to explode and he always seemed to know exactly when to nudge her back into the real world and unwind the tension.

Now that her mind was beginning to slow down, thanks to Jake, she started to replay everything she'd said to Jax, cringing as the words came back to her. To say her reaction to the news of Carson Cooper's death was an overreaction was the understatement of the year. What surprised her the most though was so how quickly she had flown off the handle and berated an unsuspecting, possibly undeserving Jax. She couldn't remember the last time she had acted purely out of emotion, especially anger, and without any regard to common sense or taking a moment to just stop and think everything through like a normal person. No, instead she had viciously lashed out.

But why? Sure, some of what she had said was completely true. She was still paying off the therapy bills and was finally able to sleep through a whole night without relying on sleeping pills. But there had always been a little traitorous voice that had said that even though she was sleeping again and even though she was more comfortable alone in the store again, it probably wasn't over. She would have had four years of peace and safety. But as soon as Carson Cooper was out of prison, there was a part of her that knew he would have found a way to get to her, regardless of the protection the police had promised her. She never thought she would ever be happy that someone was dead but in this moment, she was glad that Carson Cooper had had karma come back at him twofold.

She just didn't know how to feel about both her father's and Jax's role in that. Jax, despite his rough around the edges exterior, wasn't a bad guy. He had been trying to make her life easier, trying to help her make it through all of this in one piece but when had he felt it was his place to put a hit out on her attacker; a hit to be carried out by her father no less? When had he become her bodyguard? When had he cared in the first place? But then again, why was it necessarily wrong for him to want to keep her safe? That was basically what he had been doing since day one of all this shit. And she knew as well as he did that if Carson Cooper had lived long enough to see the end of his sentence, she would have needed some protecting anyways.

But her dad…she didn't even know where to begin, didn't know what to think.

And what the hell was she doing now? What was she thinking? Nothing good was waiting for her in Charming. At least nothing that wouldn't hesitate to put a bullet in her as soon as she threatened to call the cops. This was definitely not one of her finer moments and irrational thinking was going to get her nowhere.

Her focus was beginning to clear but she still had to pull over. She shouldn't even have been driving in the first place. When she shut off her Rav-4, she glanced into the rearview mirror and sighed heavily as she watched Jax follow suit behind her. She watched as he threw his leg over one side of his bike, took off his helmet, and shoved it roughly back onto the seat. He took a few steps towards her car and then seemed to change his mind, opting to instead prop himself up on the seat of his bike, his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

With a deep sigh, she opened her door and took a cautious step out. She couldn't look at Jax and instead let Jake out, who, naturally, trotted happily over to Jax and leapt up at him with his two huge front paws. Jax reached out to scratch underneath Jake's ears without a glance towards her. She observed them silently from the safe ten foot distance away. She still didn't know exactly how she was supposed to feel or what she was supposed to do now but she soon found herself slowly closing the distance separating them.

When Jax finally looked at her, she was met with a stormy glare, his jaw clenched and unmoving. She swallowed nervously and had to bite her lip to keep it from trembling. She could feel that she was about to cry—but for what? For who? For herself—trapped again, unable to escape the reach and influence over her? For Jax—himself trapped between a rock and a hard place? For the embarrassment she felt? For the disappointment she felt in both herself and Jax? What were they supposed to do now?

"What are we doing here, Kate?" Jax bit out, again folding his arms across his chest.

She hadn't expected him to be the first to speak and that set her even more off balance than she'd been before. The ice in his voice didn't help either.

"I guess I realized that going to see Clay wasn't going to end well so…"

He laughed bitterly. "Better late than never, right?"

"Yeah, I guess." She shoved her hands in her back pockets and rocked back on her heels, trying to decide what to say next.

They stood there for a few moments in silence as Jake looked curiously between them.

"Look, Kate," Jax started before she could speak again, his voice rising with each syllable. "I've been doing everything I can to help you out here…everything I've been doing since day one of all this shit has just been to look out for you. I've been trying that whole put yourself in someone else's shoes horse shit for the past two weeks and you've just been giving me hell for it."

He paused for a moment there to gather his thoughts. He was struggling to keep his emotions in check, to not yell at her or raise his voice but she could tell that it grew increasingly more difficult for him the longer they stood there. It wasn't like she didn't deserve it anyways.

"And you can say what you want about the club, about our methods or whatever shit you wanna say," he continued hotly with a slight lift in his voice. "But like it or not, we're the only family you've got left and we fucking protect our family. All we did was exactly what we would have done if it was anybody else's daughter or sister…or mother. Yeah, we all knew what Otto was gonna do the second he found out but what would've happened if that fucker was still alive? When he got out? Have you ever thought about that?"

She had indeed thought of that. At night, when she was struggling to stay calm before the sleeping pills could kick in, she would imagine all the ways Carson Cooper could torment her, the pain he could inflict on her…and would he finish her off this time? Would he finally put her out of her misery? That was the only time her brain would subconsciously allow the horrifying picture to surface. But she knew there really wasn't anything she could say to him now. She had gotten to yell and scream before and now, it seemed like it was his turn.

He stared a gaping hole into the pavement below him and grabbed anxiously for a cigarette and lighter in his pocket. When he had it finally lit, he puffed furiously for a few moments before looking straight at her.

"And just for the record, Kate," he stated with icy precision. "I don't fucking appreciate being talked to like I'm a piece of shit."

His words froze her to the ground and she felt tears stinging in her eyes, threatening to fall down her cheeks. She blinked furiously to keep them at bay and to keep him from seeing her cry. He had already seen her cry once and she wasn't going to allow herself to appear that weak in front of him again. Instead, she fought to get her voice working again.

"I'm sorry, Jax," she whispered hoarsely. There was nothing else she could say.

His jaw clenched again and she braced herself for what could potentially happen next. When he simply nodded back to her, his eyes had softened a little, and she felt a glimmer of hope that maybe he didn't completely hate her. But just as quickly as the change in his eyes had come, it vanished—back to the cold steel blue—and she knew that it would awhile before they would be able to trust each other again.

"Look," he started shakily after taking another puff. "I understand why you were upset…I really do. And I'm sorry that it did upset you but—"

"I know, Jax," she interrupted quickly. "We don't have to do this…why does it feel like we're always apologizing to each other for something?"

He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his windblown hair. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

They were quiet for a moment. Neither really knew what to say or do next. They were at a standstill, a stalemate of sorts and the next move was unclear. She had been making his life difficult—whether it was intentional or unintentional she still wasn't sure—and he had betrayed her trust. Despite that, they were still bound to each other through extenuating circumstances and that wasn't about to change anytime soon. What were they supposed to do now? Where did they go from here?

And then a thought struck her. A thought that she had pushed subconsciously from her mind that was now attacking her full force.

"So…" she whispered. "I take it you've seen the pictures then."

His jaw clenched again but this time it wasn't out of anger, at least not anger that was directed at her. There was something else in his eyes now and it took a moment for her to realize that it was pain.

"Yeah." He answered simply.

She swallowed nervously and she wasn't able to look at him right away. She had been afraid of that; if the club had the resources to get detailed information about her attack, they also had to have the resources to access police reports. There was a part of her that still felt violated, like her privacy, especially at her most vulnerable moment, had been intruded upon. But there was also a part of her that was somewhat relieved he had seen the pictures…it meant she would never have to give him the painful, excruciating details. He had been able to see it for himself. And on some level, it was almost comforting to know he knew everything she had been through that night. She just wasn't quite sure why.

"I'm sorry you had to see that..."

His eyes rose to met hers and for the first time since they had pulled off the road, there was no trace of malice, ice, or rage in his eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." He answered hoarsely.

She nodded slowly, a little taken aback by the sadness in his eyes. "The club has seen them too then, right?"

He nodded simply, unsure of what he could say. He seemed to know exactly how she would feel about that knowledge, how anyone would feel, and the look in his eyes said it all.

"Has my dad?" She asked quietly and then closed her eyes, afraid to know the answer to that question.

He quickly shook his head and a sigh of relief released itself from her lungs.

"Were you the one who told him?"

His eyes met hers again and he nodded. "Yeah."

"What did he say?"

Jax sighed and threw his cigarette to the ground before lighting up another one. "He didn't say much but he looked like he was going to flip over the table though. I didn't go into the details but I don't think I needed to. Shit…I've known your dad for a long time and I have never seen that look on his face before. At first it was like I told him you had died and then, after a couple seconds, his face was turning red and…I've seen murder on someone's face before but not like that…not like that."

He shook his head then, more to shake the memory than anything else. She knew he was probably looking at her now, trying to gauge some kind of reaction from her but all she could was stare at the ground ahead of her. That had been more or less what she had been expecting to hear. Her dad had killed the guy so that sort of reaction seemed appropriate to the circumstances. But after hearing it, she had no idea how she was supposed to feel about it. Over the years since he'd gone to prison, it had just been easier not to think about him, not to wonder if he was thinking about her, and not to contemplate whether or not he ever loved her in the first place. The last few weeks had made it increasingly difficult to do any of those things and now, after hearing evidence that her already complicated relationship with her father had gotten a little more complicated…it was making her head spin.

Jax's phone started buzzing in his pocket and that was enough to help her wade through the fog and back to reality. He glanced quickly at the text and immediately started pounding out a response. Once the phone was back in his pocket, he swung a leg over his bike and put his helmet on.

"Everything alright?" She asked cautiously.

"Yeah, it's fine. I just gotta head back to the clubhouse. I'll call the prospect and tell him to get over here so you're not by yourself for too long."

"Ok," she nodded slowly. She felt a little off-balance now that he was leaving and that alone was enough to unnerve her. She didn't have the time or the energy to figure out why him leaving now, after everything they had said to each other, after everything that had happened, still upset her. He had no real obligation to her and had been already spending too much time at the store anyways. Besides, he had a two year old at home who needed his dad. But no matter how hard she fought it, something still felt off as she watched him start his bike.

"I'm not sure when I'll be back to the store but I'll let the prospect know as soon as I know anything. You know you can call me if you need anything, right? If anything comes up…you can call." He was saying to her now.

"Yeah, sure. Don't worry about me. I'll see you when I see you, right?"

He nodded, a small smile creeping across his features. "Yeah. See ya later, Kate."

"Bye, Jax."

Her mixed feelings didn't stop churning as she watched him ride away. At the very least, they seemed to be on slightly better terms but that didn't make her feel any better. If anything, it made her even more confused about why her heart dropped a little as his figure grew smaller and smaller down the highway. She hated herself for the things she'd said to him almost as much as she hated the circumstances that had led her to say them. She had no idea what was going to happen now, if it was going to be awkward when he came to the store or why she even cared to begin with. But she did know that despite what had just happened, he was still going to look out for her. Her reaction was equal parts relief, frustration, and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on.

But at least she knew something she could do now. It was something that would finally give her some answers to all the questions swirling around her head, even if those questions and answers had nothing to do with Jax. It was something that she had been needing to do for a long time but had been too afraid. It was time to put that fear to rest.

* * *

><p>When Jax finally rolled into the clubhouse parking lot, he felt like his head was going to explode. The last time he had been this exhausted was right after they had brought Abel home from the hospital and that was almost two years ago. What he really needed right now was a cigarette and a few cold beers. Church wouldn't be starting up for a little while so he had enough time to try to untangle himself from the all the shit that had gone down already that day.<p>

As he swung both legs off his bike and headed towards the clubhouse, he purposefully avoided making eye contact with Gemma, who had just come out of the office at the sound of his bike. Hopefully, he could play it off like he didn't see her so he wouldn't have to deal with her. One confrontation with a stubborn, angry woman was enough for one day. Besides, that particular woman could pick up on just about anything that was wrong with him and he didn't really want to talk about it, especially not with her.

He sighed again as he dug a cigarette out of his near-empty pack. He knew he had had a few too many cigarettes already but he needed them. He needed something to calm himself down a little, something to take the edge off, especially since he'd felt the need to punch the hell out of something since driving away from Kate about an hour earlier. That whole situation had just blown completely out of his control. At first, he had felt guilty. He had felt responsible for whatever she was feeling and for a little while, was fine with accepting the brunt of her anger and frustrations.

He couldn't necessarily blame her for feeling the way she did. If their roles were reversed, and it was his privacy and trust that had been betrayed, his temper would have easily taken over. He knew her well enough by now to know that it was the fact that they had stepped in, had again taken control over something she felt they didn't needed to be involved with, that had rattled her the most. And he understood that. He had been expecting her to be emotional as soon as she found out…just not that emotional. Shouldn't she have been happy that asshole was dead? That he was never going to have the chance to even get near her again? On some level, after the shock wore off, he had almost expected her to thank him. But that didn't happen. Instead, she proceeded to not only insult him, the club, their motives and their methods, but she had also successfully made him feel like a piece of shit for trying to protect her. And she had definitely crossed the line.

So it was hard to feel entirely responsible for her tantrum because she had to bear some of that responsibility too.

But the haunted look in her eyes was still there, especially when she figured out the entire club had seen the evidence photos of her attack, and that was difficult to swallow. He'd seen that look before, on both her face and his mother's. It was the kind of look that kept him up at night, that chased him even when he tried to drown it out with the road.

He really needed that drink.

It wasn't long before he was seated at the clubhouse's in-house bar with two empty shot glasses and a half-empty bottle of beer in front of him.

"Everything alright, brother?" Opie's voice came from behind him.

Jax turned to his left and sighed when Opie sat down on the stool next to him. He'd been able to escape his mother but Opie was another story altogether.

"Not really." He answered shortly, not bothering to lie. Opie would have just seen through it anyway.

"Yeah, I can see that." Opie laughed with a gesture toward the glasses in front of him. A scantily-clad croweater put a beer in front of him and another one in front of Jax, just for good measure to ensure being noticed. She wasn't.

"So…" Opie started slowly. He paused to see if Jax would volunteer the information on his own and shook his head a little when Jax remained silent. He would just have to dig it out of him then.

"Everything going ok at Kate's store?" Opie asked casually, figuring that was the best place to start.

Jax stared intently at the label on his beer bottle before squeezing his fist. "She found out Otto took out that fucker who attacked her."

Opie's eyebrows rose quickly and he turned to face Jax. "Shit…you didn't tell her?"

"I was going to…she read it in the paper before I even got a chance."

"I can't imagine she took it well."

Jax laughed bitterly and took a pull from his beer. "Nope…not even close. You know, I kinda thought she would be happy. At least, a little grateful, you know? We did her a favor—we protected her."

"She obviously didn't want the club's protection." Opie stated simply.

"Yeah, but she needed though, didn't she? We all know what would have happened the second that asshole got out of the pen. Otto did exactly what he needed to and I'm not sorry I told him." Jax bit out.

"Yeah, I guess," Opie began slowly. "If I were Otto, I would've done the same thing and I would have expected the club to keep me informed…but I can't help feeling kinda bad for her though."

Jax nodded slowly, his eyes still trained on the label in front of him. "I know what you mean."

"She never really wanted this…I mean the club just pushed itself back into her life and took over. I can't blame her for feeling a little…manhandled, I guess."

"Yeah."

They were silent for a few moments. Sometimes, there some things that were better left unsaid.

"She didn't have to call me a bitch though." Jax muttered under his breath.

Opie's eyes rose again and this time, he bit back laughter. "What?"

"Yeah…a bitch. She was pretty damn pissed. And bro…when she said that, shit, it kinda felt like I got slapped in the face, you know? I wanted to tear the place apart…book by fucking book…"

Opie responded with a light laugh but Jax was not as amused. He responded by lighting up yet another cigarette, taking careful mental note that he was quickly running low on his supply. He leaned back a little on the stool and fought to keep himself from looking his friend straight in the eye. He still couldn't quite figure out his own reaction in this particular cluster fuck. It wasn't like his usual self to just bend over and take it the way he had with Kate. She had continued to berate and tear him to pieces because he had allowed it to happen. If it had been anyone else, man or woman—maybe even his own mother if he was being completely honest with himself-that person would have been put in his or her place in a matter of seconds. Less than a matter of seconds. But with her, he had just apologized repeatedly like a stuttering dumb-shit idiot. It wasn't until he'd had some time to let everything he'd allowed her to say to him sink in that newly kindled anger knocked away the fading compassion. The fact it had taken so long was twisting his insides into pieces.

"You know, I don't recall you ever having this much trouble with the ladies since well…ever." Opie seemed to read his mind with a very annoying smile in his kind eyes.

Jax huffed into his beer. "That's not how I would describe it, man."

"Come on, brother—when was the last time a girl ever gave you this much trouble—and don't say Wendy…you know that doesn't count."

Jax couldn't help the grimace that crossed his features at the mention of that name. She was painful to think about but not because things hadn't turned out too well between them. Still, his head cocked slightly to the side at Opie's line of questioning—he was intrigued.

"You mean one I wasn't banging?"

"Yeah," Opie laughed. "One you weren't banging."

"Well, no, I guess. Where you goin' with this, Ope?" Jax asked, voice taking on a bit of an edge.

"Nowhere," Opie just shrugged. "It sounds like she was pretty upset though."

That Jax couldn't deny. "Once she started yelling…I kinda expected her to start punching and kicking me too."

"Probably takes kick-boxing classes, huh?"

Jax shot his friend a grin. "I wouldn't put it past her."

"Shit—that sort of sounds like when me and Lyla get into fights. It's always about the little shit, you know?"

"What do you mean?"

Opie just shrugged. "She told you something in private…she probably hasn't told too many people and she obviously felt like she could talk to you about it. It's the disappointment when you let them down that really sends them flying off the handle like that."

"Shit, man, you're talkin' like she's my old lady or something." Jax shook his head in disbelief at the thought.

"Nah…I didn't really mean it like that. It just sounds like some of the things she told you were difficult to tell. I'm sure the last thing she expected was for you to turn around and tell the club. If she'd wanted us to know, she would've told us herself, you know? She just wanted you to know though."

Jax almost started speaking again but snapped his mouth shut at his next thought. There was one part of her enraged tantrum that he hadn't allowed himself to reconcile with yet. He hadn't even really thought about it after she'd first told him about her attack.

"She said she'd been going to therapy," he finally began quietly. "Couldn't sleep at night…had trouble being in the store by herself after it happened…"

"That sounds about right, given what she went through." Opie acknowledged, trying to figure out what Jax was thinking.

"I just...I'd never really thought about it like that before, Ope. Never thought about the details, what it must've felt like, what it did to her…I couldn't let myself do that with Gemma either. All I could think about was getting Zobel and how I would feel when my knife was finally in his chest. I never thought about how she felt, what she would have to do to get over it, how long it would take, what it would take…I guess I couldn't."

He had never really digested everything that had happened to his mother. He hadn't let the depth of it all fully sink in. He couldn't allow himself to picture her nightmare. He had had to keep his cool, for the most part, so Zobel could burn. Doing anything else would have broken him into a crumbling mess at his mother's feet because he loved his mother more than he loved anything else, save for his son. He had killed for them because they had been hurt and because they were irreplaceable to him. When he killed for the club, it was about business. But the murders he'd committed for his mother and his son had been purely instinctual, emotional, and cathartic. And now, albeit indirectly, he had killed for Kate for the exact same reasons.

Opie took Jax's silence in with quiet contemplation. He was a little thrown off guard by Jax's ruminations. This just wasn't like him. He usually wasn't one to sit down and have heart to hearts, at least not in length. They had always been close, had always been able to talk about things they couldn't with anyone else. Hell, there were things Jax knew about him that he had never had the courage to utter to either Donna or Lyla. But what Jax was discussing now was deeper on another level entirely.

"I'm not sure anyone who hasn't been through something like that can ever know what it's like…all you can do is just to keep doing what you're doing."

"It doesn't seem like I've done anything lately that's really helped her." There was a hint of desperation in Jax's voice and that made Opie frown.

"Sure you have, brother; maybe she just doesn't see it right now. You and I both know you've saved her ass more ways than one already. This shit with Clay and the club may not be over for awhile and God knows what's going to happen if the Mayans or Niners or even the Irish somehow get wind of this shit."

"Clay thinks that's never going to happen," Jax nodded. "It will—it's just a fucking matter of time before someone's sniffin' around there."

"We still need a cover."

"Right—even it's just between us and Kate—" Opie was cut off by the buzzing of Jax's phone.

Jax dug it out of his back pocket and flipped it open. His eyebrows rose immediately as he read the text and his eyes flew to met Opie's.

"What is it, brother?"

"Kate's goin' to see Otto tomorrow. She figured I wouldn't let her go by herself."

"Probably doesn't want to fight with you anymore." Opie offered.

Jax nodded, their earlier conversation by the side of the road and her defeated expression quickly coming back to him.

"You gonna go with her, then?" Opie was asking now.

"Not tomorrow—Abel's got another appointment and Gemma will skin me alive if I can't make it."

"Is everything alright?"

"His breathing is still off and Gemma's worried about it so we're takin' him in again."

"Shit—sorry, brother. At least you're takin' him in…hey, you know what, Lyla will be alright with the kids tomorrow…I can go along with Kate. She really shouldn't do that by herself anyways."

Jax hesitated at Opie's suggestion. It wasn't that he didn't trust him. Opie was usually the one person he could count on and he didn't doubt that Opie would take care of Kate. It wasn't necessarily the fact that she was going to the prison either. She had every right to visit her dad and he suspected she was really looking for answers more than anything with this visit—answers she deserved. So why was he hesitating?

"Yeah," he finally responded as casually as possible. "Sure…that should work fine."

"You sure?" Opie asked slowly. He wasn't used to seeing this in Jax.

"Yeah—why wouldn't I be?" Jax asked reflexively and—almost defensively.

Opie rose his hands up in the air with a nervous laugh. "Don't know, brother. Just makin' sure."

Jax chewed on the inside of his cheek and quickly nodded his response. He was already too screwed up in the head right now to deal with Opie asking questions he didn't feel like answering.

Instead of addressing the newly risen tension in the air, Opie stood up from his stool and slapped Jax on the shoulder.

"Come on, brother, let's head to church."

"Yeah," Jax nodded absentmindedly.

He watched with some apprehension as Opie left his side to go into church. He couldn't even remember what the club was bringing to the Redwood. His head had been all over the place and club business had somehow gotten pushed to the wayside. That was a problem that needed to rectify itself immediately. He couldn't let the rest of the club pick up on any distractions. He'd dealt with all that shit before and had barely made it through the first time. Things were already unstable enough the way it was and the last thing he needed was for the club to rule to place him somewhere other than the store. He needed to be there.

That was what he needed to focus on now: convince the club that he was all there and that there would be no more complications or distractions. Everything else would just have to work itself out.

* * *

><p><strong>AN-**So...hopefully that eased some of your worries. I know some reviewers were upset that Jax's reaction in the last chapter was too out of character but I think there's a little more going on below the surface that was hinted at in this chapter.

The next chapter will see Kate's long-awaited and much-needed visit with Otto and Opie will provide some insight into Jax's motives. He also has some other information, which Jax has neglected to tell her, that he could potentially share with her also. We'll see...After that, we should be getting to the big twist I have planned. I hope I haven't made it too obvious but feel free to guess!

As always, I hope you enjoyed this and if you felt the last chapter got a little off-track, I hope you feel things are back to the way they should be. Please read and review! Your feedback is invaluable to me...especially after the last chapter. R/R!


	8. The Ringer

**A/N-**Hello...sorry for the extremely long wait. There's a lot going on in this chapter and I wanted to make sure I was happy with it before I posted it (moving twice and school starting again didn't help either). I hope you enjoy and I hope it was worth the wait!

* * *

><p>LOVE SONG<p>

Chapter Eight

The prison loomed several hundred yards away—it seemed to have billowing black clouds coming up from its features encased in electrical iron. That didn't necessarily have anything to do with what lay inside it. As Opie's truck grew closer and closer, Kate started feel her throat closing in panic. She was almost ready to jump out of the truck altogether. The prison itself was scary as hell—but it was what was waiting for her beyond the walls and the fences that scared her the most.

She glanced nervously at Opie, who had seemed to sense her near hysteria, and he smiled reassuringly at her.

"Prison's not so bad…" he started softly. "At least not once you get used to it."

"I'll try to remember that." She whispered, trying to force a smile that wouldn't come.

"If you don't mind me asking…when was the last time you saw your dad?" Opie's voice was still soft and she knew that whatever her answer was, he would listen and understand.

"I haven't seen him since before I left Charming…wow, that was…nine years ago then. "

They were silent for a moment and Kate's eyes drifted again to the menacing building they were fast approaching.

"The last time I saw my dad I told him I hated him," she begin. She had no idea why she was talking about it—this was a little too intense for small talk but she kept going. "I told him that I didn't care if I ever saw him again. That I hope he rotted in jail."

"You were what—15, 16?" Opie asked kindly.

"Yeah, something like that."

He laughed good-naturedly. "Growing pains, huh? I can imagine my daughter would probably say the same thing to me if I ever found my way back in the pen."

"She probably wouldn't be nearly as angsty and hateful as I was. I could barely look him in the eye I was so…"

Opie smiled faintly and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. "What did your dad say…after you…when you saw him last?"

She smiled painfully at the memory. "He told me he would always love me and that I could come back anytime I wanted to."

"Yeah, that sounds like your dad."

"Does it?" She asked, realizing for the first time in nine years that she didn't know really know her own father's personality well enough to know if Opie was accurate or not.

"Yeah, it does." He paused for a moment. "You know, I wouldn't worry about all that. Things are different when you're in the pen…things are more simple. More cut and dry. You see things clearly because you have more time to really see them. Your dad isn't going to be holdin' any grudges, Kate."

All she could do was nod, even though she didn't know why, and then she turned to stare aimlessly out the window, away from the approaching iron fence. She closed her eyes and when she opened them again, Opie was parking the truck near the visitor's entrance.

They were met by a guard and Kate felt numb was Opie gave him their names. They showed their ids and then were escorted into a waiting room where they were screened for anything someone could possibly try to smuggle in to a loved one in prison. She barely felt like she was in her own body. It was as if she was watching herself from the wall, from the ceiling, from anywhere but inside herself. It had been so long since she'd been in that room she had completely forgotten what it was like. She looked around anxiously at the other families and found herself looking straight into the eyes of young blonde teenager. The girl only made eye contact with her for a second but the girl's eyes were glassy and scared. And sad. She wondered how many times the girl had been in this room, how many times she had been searched and patted down, how many times she had felt the way she looked, if she wondered if she would ever feel whole again. She wished she could tell the girl that it got better, that it was easier to just not think about whoever she was visiting. But she couldn't.

When they were finally taken to the visiting room, she felt Opie gently squeeze her shoulder.

"I can sit with you if you want." He murmured softly.

She just shook her head. "No…I'll be fine, thanks though."

He nodded solemnly and then disappeared back into the waiting area. With a deep breath, she realized that she was now on her own. Nothing and nobody to hide behind. It was time her father finally met his adult daughter. Still, with hands that trembled at her sides, she found herself wishing Jax was there. Somehow, she felt stronger whenever he was next to her.

But he wasn't. He was with his son doing exactly what he needed to be doing. And she was doing exactly what she needed to be doing too. She just wished it wasn't so damn scary.

Her eyes anxiously scanned the tables, searching for what she remembered of her father. Did he still have that long greasy hair? She sighed exasperatedly. He could be fat and balding for all she knew. Or skinny and bitter. And then her eyes fell on a table against the furthest wall from the doors with a lone, slightly hunched over figure sitting with his back to her. She didn't need to see his face to know that man was her father. Whether it was fate or luck, she didn't know, but at that moment, it felt like she'd him anywhere. Same shoulders, same hair…same everything.

She approached him carefully with cautious and noiseless steps. After all this time, the weight of every emotion she'd ever felt for him was slowing her down. It was hard to push aside because there was so much of it. She'd never completely known what she was supposed to do with the confusion surrounding her feelings towards him and that made her current situation even more difficult. Right about now, she was wishing she'd never decided to come here. She almost turned on her heel to flee back to the waiting room but something was driving her forward.

A few heartbeats later, her father turned his head and then stood up to greet her. She almost jumped back in shock at the weathered creases and weary expression on his face. He looked tired. He looked old. He was wearing an eye patch over one eye and had an ugly red scar running across the other. That definitely wasn't there the last time she saw him.

But what shocked her the most were the outstretched arms he extended towards her. There was a warm, albeit tired, smile on his face and she could've sworn his eyes were shining with something like unshed tears. Before she could register what was happening, his arms wrapped themselves around her and pulled her in. He held her tightly to his chest and squeezed gently, whispering something into her ear that was too low to make out. She couldn't relax in his arms but when she finally let herself take a breath, all she could focus on was her father's smell. It was so different than she remembered…gone was the ever-familiar scent of Irish Spring soap and gasoline. He smelled almost like he looked…old, weary, and weathered, almost musty. He really was rotting away in prison.

When his arms loosened and drooped to his sides, she took a small step back as a reflex. Maybe it was defensive. She wasn't sure. He was smiling again and gestured for her to sit as he walked briskly to the other side of the table so he could face her. When they were sitting directly across from her, she suddenly couldn't remember what she had come there to say. The shock of seeing him…like this…and after so much time had passed…she felt like the wind had been knocked right out of her.

"I'm so glad you're here, Katie." He whispered finally, a soft smile on his lips.

She tried to smile back but there were too many emotions swirling around for her to fake anything. He probably saw right though it anyway. She swallowed nervously and prayed her voice wouldn't fail her.

"I heard about…what you did, Dad." She said hoarsely.

He just nodded simply, as if he had been expecting her to say that. "And you're here for some explanations…"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. My life…has…well, it's been completely turned upside down."

He didn't say anything then. He just folded his hands tightly in front of him on the table with his jaw clenched and a pained expression written in his eyes. It was an image she was used to seeing in Jax whenever he was struggling with the situation she currently found herself in. It was one thing to see it in Jax but to see it in her father was a whole other story.

When he still didn't say anything, she started speaking again. "I've tried so hard to stay away from the club…and then, out of the blue, Jax and Clay show up to tell me my store is technically owned by the club and that I have to help them or else…"

He closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them, they were glassy again. "I know there's nothing I can ever say or do to make you believe how sorry I am. When Clay and I signed those papers almost ten years ago, the club was thriving…the money was rolling in, we were the kings of Charming. Neither one of us could've ever known it would've turned out like this…hell, if I would've known you'd be put in this position, I never would've signed those papers."

He paused for a moment to rub his temples. "I just wanted to make sure you'd be taken care of. That you'd have a good life. I wanted you to be able to go to college, to be normal, to have friends that didn't have tattoos and ride on the back of motorcycles. I thought I was doing that for you…ten years ago, the club would never have missed that money. I wanted you to have a chance to get away, Katie, if that was what you wanted…"

A lump was rising in her throat and before she could do anything to stop it, a tear slipped down her cheek.

"I guess hindsight's always 20/20," he continued softly with a sigh. "Deep down, even though I never would've admitted it then, I knew your mom wasn't going to make it out of that shit alive. I knew the club would be there for the both of you but knew that wouldn't be enough to help her. Money wouldn't keep her clean or get her out but I thought that maybe it would be enough to help you. It seems like I was wrong. Maybe there really is no getting out…"

Part of her wanted to reach out and grab his hand and tell him that it had been enough, that she had gotten away, that she had done all the things he'd hoped she would but she just couldn't do it. It was too hard and it was too much to come to terms with.

"I just wanted you to have a good life, Katie…this situation with the club will work itself out, however it's supposed to work out. I wish there was something I could do…but I'm not much good to anybody stuck in this piece of shit place. But Jax is a good guy; I'm glad he's watchin' out for you. I'd trust him with my own life. He'll make sure nothing and nobody ever gets close enough to touch you."

"He's already done that, hasn't he?" She muttered, her voice taking on a bit of an edge.

"Don't be too rough on Jax," he laughed lightly. "He was just lookin' out for you. I'm the one that did all the dirty work…and for the record, I'm not apologizing for that one. I don't feel the slightest bit sorry."

She wasn't sure how to respond to that. She was very aware that both Jax and her father had just been trying to protect her. She understood that and, for the most part, was coming to terms with it. It was the lack of remorse for taking a life, even if it was a criminal's life and the lack of communication with her that she still had a hard time reconciling.

"I just wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I could understand." She whispered. She couldn't think of anything else to say to explain what she was feeling.

He nodded soberly. "I know…I know. I know you've been through hell and back because me, because of your mother, because of the club. I know you hate me because of it and I can't blame you. I'd hate me too if I were you."

Her throat felt dry and scratchy and even though she wanted to, she still couldn't say anything.

He gaze darted to the guard walking towards them and then looked back to her. "Listen, our time's up here. But I just want to say, Katie, that I'm really glad you decided to come see me, even if it wasn't under the best of circumstances. Don't feel like you have to come back but I'd be glad to see you again anytime you want."

She nodded as he reached over to squeeze her hand.

"I love you, Katie."

She barely heard him say it and as soon as it registered, he had already gotten up and was being led away by a guard. Another guard was almost immediately at her side to escort her back to the waiting room. She watched, with burning eyes, as her father glanced back at her with a wide, happy grin. Then he was gone.

Once again, she felt completely numb. She didn't know what she was expecting to come out of this visit but she didn't feel like she'd accomplished much. She'd wanted answers and while she had gotten some, she was now left with even more questions. Questions that she had no idea how to find the answers to.

Opie stood when he saw her and said nothing as they checked out of the room and walked back to his truck. They hadn't even made to the end of the prison's driveway and she was already fighting tears. She hadn't expected that visit to be so…emotionally draining. Just seeing him looking so worn and tired was more than she could handle. And she had gone so many years convincing herself that he didn't love her, that he had only ever cared about the club, and that she hated him. Now, in the span of less than an hour, everything she had built up in her mind about him was twisted and thrown up in the air. She didn't know how she felt about anything anymore.

Opie cleared his throat and glanced anxiously over to her several times. She just couldn't look at him because she was worried she'd start crying. He was probably waiting for her to say something…anything, but right then, she didn't even know where to begin. She was still trying to make sense of what had just happened to her.

"I don't know if anyone told you…" Opie began slowly. "I'm getting married in a few weeks."

She was grateful for the welcome distraction. "What? Really? I didn't know…"

She racked her brain to figure out who Opie might be marrying. Wasn't he dating someone he knew from high school when she left? If she remembered right, she thought she'd overhead Gemma talking to her mom about Opie getting married, but that was well over ten years ago. She figured it was better not to ask too many personal questions. After all, she hadn't really spoken to him in years and it wasn't really any of her business anyways.

"Yeah," Opie went on with a proud smile. "Lyla's the best woman I could ever ask for…good with my kids…with her kid. She makes me happy."

She couldn't help but smile back at him. "That's great, Opie. I'm really happy for you."

"So I know it's too late for one of those formal, mailed invitations but you know I'd love to have you there, right?"

It took a second for her to fully realize what he said. "Really?"

"Yeah," he laughed with a smile. "What are you talkin' about? You're family, Kate."

She smiled a little at that but all this talk about family was making her uncomfortable. That was all she seemed to be hearing from anyone who was affiliated with Samcro…you're family, Kate. The club protects its family. The club would do anything for family. Well, the jury was still out on that one.

"And you know," Opie went on, ignoring her silence. "That also includes birthday parties."

She winced and groaned a little. "Ugh…that's tomorrow night, isn't it?"

"Sure is," he affirmed with a wide grin. "The club is gonna throw one hell of a party for my boy. If Jax is still standing upright by the end of the night, then I didn't do my job."

Her eyebrows rose. "Oh…so maybe that's a good excuse for me to be conveniently busy tomorrow night. I don't really care to see Jax face down in…well, in just about anything."

"Nah," Opie laughed. "It's not gonna be that bad. Jax isn't really like that anymore…he used to be, not gonna lie…but ever since Abel came along and all the shit he and Abel have been through, I guess he just realized there are more important things to worry about than pussy."

"I guess I'll have to believe it when I see it then, huh?"

"Come on, you really think Jax is gonna go crazy tomorrow night, get stupid drunk, and sleep with as many girls as he can in one night…especially with you there?"

She just shrugged and opted to ignore that last part. "I don't know. I guess I don't know him well enough one way or the other to really tell. But I do know that every time I saw him however many years ago, he was always with a different girl."

"Right…but that was the Jax nine years ago. Before he became a dad. Before he grew up." He pointed out.

She nodded slowly, trying to figure out why she was talking about Jax this way. Maybe she'd never really thought about him being with women before because that was a side to him, this older and wiser Jax, that she had yet to see. Maybe she'd hadn't really wanted to think about it to begin with.

"Jax is a good guy, Kate. "

"You're the second person that's said that to me today." She muttered under her breath.

His eyebrows rose a little. "Your dad?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, he's right. I know some of Jax's…methods…are a little off, he's got a short fuse too, hell—I can't imagine having to be around him the way you've been having to lately—he can be a bitch to be around sometimes. But he has his reasons for being the way he is with you. And it's not just to be an asshole. I don't think that was ever his intention anyway."

"I guess…it's just that…I guess sometimes I get this vibe that there's more to it than that. I just wish he would tell me why he's being so manic-protective—can't drive home alone, can't be in the store alone, can't really go anywhere alone—it's beyond frustrating sometimes. I mean, some of that seems just a little bit unnecessary." She sighed exasperatedly.

Opie didn't respond; he just pressed his lips into a grim line. She bit her lip nervously at this change in him. There was definitely something going on behind the curtain of Samcro that she was being kept in the dark about. But she was not at all prepared when he suddenly jerked the truck over to the side of the road, skidding to a complete stop. They sat there in silence for a moment, Kate trying to catch her breath and Opie tightly gripping the steering wheel, staring straight ahead into the deserted road.

"Ok, Opie…" she got out in between ragged breaths. "What's going on? You're starting to scare me here."

He still didn't say anything. He ran a shaky hand over his face and winced painfully. His other hand fell haphazardly into his lap and he sighed.

"I have to tell you something, Kate and Jax can just beat the shit out of me later. Please don't stop me or ask questions…this is, well, this isn't an easy story to tell and I might not make it all the way through if I have to stop…but this is something you have a right to know and I should be the one to tell you."

Something in his voice hitched and Kate felt numb again. She nodded slowly, an icy chill coursing down her spine as her head moved. Whatever he had to say, it wasn't going to be pretty. Nothing, it seemed, ever was when Samcro was involved.

"I don't know if you knew this or not but I was married before. Her name was…her name was Donna. A few years ago, a couple months after Abel was born actually, a lot of shit went down with this ATF agent. Without going into too many over-complicated details, she convinced Clay that I was going to rat out Samcro…put me and my family in protective custody, a shit-ton of money in our checking account, everything you could think of to make Clay believe the ATF was going to set my family up right if I became a rat. The whole damn time I thought I was being investigated for a murder…I had no idea what was really going on."

He sighed and leaned forward on the steering wheel as if he needed the support. Another deep sigh escaped his lips before he finally wearily glanced her way. She had just about inched herself back all the way over to the passenger side window, almost pressing herself as far away from this as possible. It wasn't necessarily Opie she was trying to distance herself from; it was the information.

"Anyways," Opie carried on. "Needless to say, Clay and Tig, for that matter, believed that I was a rat. So they decided to take me out."

He paused again and looked at her with mournful eyes. "The night Abel came home from the hospital…everything had been going so well. Donna had decided to stay with me, she wanted our family to be whole, she was committed to me and figuring out a way to deal with what the club was. She wanted our family to be at Abel's party, said it was important for us to be there, to support Jax."

His voice was starting to crack and she wondered how many times he'd actually had to tell this story from start to finish.

"The plan was for Tig to follow me home in a black Escalade to make it look like it was a Niner drive-by shooting. Only when Tig pulled up behind my truck, it wasn't me in the truck; it was Donna."

She sharply sucked in a breath and for a moment, felt a little dizzy. Everything started to get hazy but she still heard his voice somewhere in the fog.

"Jax figured it out…beat the shit out of Tig, beat the shit out of Clay; he didn't tell me because he didn't want to take away the only family I had left…I'm grateful for that."

Her gaze jerked up at his last admission. "What? How could you be after…after what they did…"

He smiled sadly. "I know it's hard for you to understand but the club was all I had left. Without my brothers, I don't know how I would've made it through. You know that saying…you can't choose your family but you have to love them anyways? I guess it's kinda like that with the club. I don't agree with everything they've done or their reasons for it but I'm still a part of them, just like they're a part of me. Jax did the right thing in keeping his silence; he was protecting me, just like he's protecting you."

She didn't know what to say. How could anyone possibly know what to say after hearing a story like that? She'd always suspected there were plenty of things Jax wasn't telling her about the club but she'd accepted that he probably had good reasons for keeping the details from her. Now she understood why he'd never told her. He hadn't wanted to scare her even more than she already was.

"So I'm sure you can see why Jax has been so crazy about keeping you safe," Opie started again with a renewed calm. "Things between Jax and Clay…they're just not the way they used to be anymore. I'm not sure how much they really trust each other either. This thing with you…it just made things even worse between them. Jax was against bringing you into this from the start…and he had every reason to be."

"He's worried I'm going to get hurt." She stated with a soft sigh.

"Afraid is more like it," Opie replied quietly. "And we both know there's more at stake here than you just getting hurt. You could get killed because of all this shit, Kate and I don't think Jax would be able to live with himself if that happened."

She sighed deeply and leaned her head against the window for support. This was all just too much for one day.

"I just don't understand why he feels responsible for what happens to me. It's not like we're really friends or anything, we weren't all that close when I was growing up here…I just don't get when or why he decided he needed to be my bodyguard."

Opie grinned sadly and ran a hand over his face. "The thing about Jax is, and I guess I only know this because I've known the guy my whole life, is that when he cares about somebody, I mean really cares, he would do anything…he'd throw himself in front of a bullet if it meant keeping that person safe. That kind of dedication is intense as shit and outside of the club, there's a very short list of people that fall into that category. Gemma, Abel, and now…well, you."

She shook her head in confusion. "That just doesn't make any sense."

He just shrugged. "Doesn't have to, I guess. Maybe Jax figures he's seen enough women that he cares about get hurt because of the club. Donna, Gemma…like I said, he wouldn't be able to handle it if something happened to you too."

His eyes widened as he realized his slip of the tongue and immediately held his hand up in defensive before she even had a chance to open her mouth to respond.

"Look, that's not my story to tell. But Donna's not the only one who's gotten hurt recently. Just because Gemma's alive doesn't mean she wasn't put through hell."

So there was a reason for the haunted look in Gemma's eyes that night at the family dinner. Gemma had seemed different, more on edge, than she remembered and unfortunately, her intuition had been correct. She knew Jax would probably tell her now that she knew about Donna but she just didn't want to know. Maybe ignorance really was bliss.

Opie sighed again and gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. "Hey, I know this wasn't exactly the best conversation but I thought you needed to know. Jax wasn't going to tell you and even though I get why he didn't, you deserved to know what was really going on, you deserved to know the danger you might be in, more than from just the other MCs. And I think you deserved to know that Jax isn't just being overprotective for the sake of being overprotective. He cares about you, Kate."

Again, she didn't know what to say. She had no idea how many times she'd felt like that today. She was really sick of feeling like that. She didn't have the energy to let everything Opie'd just told her really sink in. She might crumble under the weight of it if she did. And she was already pretty damn close to losing it; if she allowed herself to wrap her head around all this, she would break for sure. But from what she was able to understand from Opie's story, she really couldn't afford to do that.

It wasn't until Opie dropped her off and she was walking up the stairs to her apartment that some of his story started to work its way into her brain. She could hear Jake barking and scratching at the door but it seemed like it took forever for her to get to him. When she finally let him out, he immediately jumped up, almost like he was trying to hug her, knowing that she needed it. She bent down and pressed a quick kiss on the top of his head.

"Always there when I need you," she murmured into his soft fur. He responded by licking her face and then pushed his front legs back down to the ground.

Once Jake was done outside and resting lazily on the couch, she felt her stomach growling but didn't have the strength or the energy to make any food. She normally loved the creative process of making a meal but the day's events left no room for that. She needed to recover a little. And push back actually processing those events for as long as humanly possible.

Let's see…her DVR had to overflowing with long-forgotten episodes of Law and Order: SVU…what else was she recording? Oh yeah, The Office. That was the one. She needed to laugh. She needed to be distracted.

She settled into her most comfortable pair of pajama pants and gently pushed Jake a little to the side on the couch. He always had a way of sprawling completely over the whole length of the couch. Just like a man, she thought warily, always taking up space. She ruffled his fur and plopped down next to him, flipping her TV on at the same time.

It's amazing how time flies when you're exhausted and need to escape. Nothing like all those antics between Dwight and Jim to lighten up her day. Jake nuzzled her hand, a not-so-subtle reminder to keep petting his head. She didn't know how many episodes she'd watched; she was pretty much zoning out. It wasn't until the doorbell rang and Jake leapt off the couch in a barking craze that she felt like she was really back inside her own body.

She couldn't say she was surprised to see Jax standing at her door step. It was only a matter of time before they'd have to face each other again. He waved, albeit a little awkwardly, with an uneasy smile as he greeted Jake.

"Hey, Jake," he laughed. "How's it hangin'?"

When Jake finally calmed down and was sitting happily at Jax's right, Jax finally looked up to meet her weary eyes. His eyes were kind, a little tired, but there was no trace of any animosity since their last encounter. Maybe somewhere along the way they'd both figured out that they weren't going to get anywhere by fighting.

He smiled suddenly, which rattled her already fragile nerves and gestured with his head towards his truck parked by the bottom of the stairs.

"Abel's in the truck…wanna see him?" There was a happy glint in his eye, almost excited and she realized that this was the first time she'd actually seen him this way since they'd been thrown back into each other's lives.

"Why is he…?" She trailed off as she followed Jax and Jake down the stairs.

"He's on this I-don't-want-to-sleep-when-my-dad-wants-me-to-sleep thing," he explained. "He never used to be like that but lately the only thing that puts the little man down is takin' a cruise in my truck."

She bit her lip to keep from laughing and Jax just grinned at her.

"What?" He asked as his grin grew wider.

"Nothing…it's just kinda sweet."

"What is?" He looked confused.

Now she was really laughing. "Aw, come on. You don't think it's sweet that the only thing that gets him to sleep is 'takin' a cruise' with his dad? If that's not sweet then I don't know what is."

Jax smiled again but this time it was a little bit softer as he peeked into the truck at his sleeping son. When he looked back at her, he motioned with his head for her to come closer. She took her place next to him and peered anxiously into the back seat window. There, sleeping soundly in his car seat, with his little blonde head drooped to the side, chubby cheeks and all, was easily the cutest kid she'd ever seen.

"Wow…he's adorable, Jax…he's totally passed out too; you weren't kidding, were you?" She whispered with a little laugh.

"Oh yeah," Jax replied lightly, tilting his head to one side as he watched his son. "Completely unconscious. It's a beautiful thing."

She smiled again and caught the look that changed in his eyes. They took a small step away from the truck and she watched with a shaky inhale as he shoved his hands in his pockets. For a few moments, they just stood there in silence and the longer they stood there, the more she slowly realized how relaxed she felt now that he was here.

He nudged her with his elbow and then that tired, sad smile was on his lips again. "Rough day, huh?"

"Yeah," she laughed softly. "Emotionally draining doesn't even begin to cover it."

He nodded and brought his arms across his chest. "Yeah, Ope mentioned that…listen, Kate, I know what he told you…"

"No, Jax," she immediately held a hand out to stop him. The last thing she wanted was to hear him apologize to her again. "I know what you're going to say and you don't need to, ok? What happened to Donna was…God, Jax…it's…I don't even know what to say. I can't blame you for not telling me. It would have scared the shit out of me; I would've probably run out screaming my head off and headed straight for the cops."

He swallowed and ran a hand haphazardly through his already messy long hair. He blew out the breath he was holding and when his eyes met hers, she thought she saw relief shining in them.

"I know you were just trying to protect me from all of that…so…thanks…" she trailed off quietly, not sure what else to say. They were treading on very unfamiliar territory here and it seemed as if neither wanted to take a wrong step.

"Don't worry about it," he replied hoarsely. "I think Ope did the right though, in tellin' you. At least now you know the whole story, what's really goin' on with Samcro. I guess it was bound to happen eventually."

The question was right on the tip of her tongue: what happened to Gemma? But she just couldn't; knowing about Donna was enough. Did she really need the scarring details about Gemma? Someone, who despite her mistrust and coldness towards her now, had once essentially been her caretaker? She didn't need to know.

She started backpedaling begrudgingly to the weathered picnic table. Jax followed suit and settled down next to her, both of them sitting on the top with their feet resting on the bench. They sat there for a moment and she could faintly hear the radio from inside his truck. It took her a second to figure out what song was playing: "Love Song". The familiar chords seemed to float around them, finally settling at their feet in a gentle, yet subtle pattern. For some reason, the song seemed to pacify both of them with the words themselves taking on a different meaning.

"So…" he started again. "Did you get what you needed from your dad?"

She blew out a sigh.

"That bad, huh?"

She just shrugged and shook her head. "It wasn't like that. It was just…really difficult."

She paused for a moment and briefly looked at him. He was just watching her with a steady gaze, silently supporting her, his eyes filled with quiet understanding. That gave her the strength to finally put to words what had been building up since she walked out of the prison and left her father behind.

"He just looked so…different," she started again shakily. "He looked so old. So tired. I never remembered seeing him that way. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel when I saw him again. I mean there's just so many things I wanted to say to him…I've fantasized screaming at him, asking him how he could be so stupid to trust Samcro with that contract, how he could just leave me like that…with her, how he could tell me that he loved me and then turn around and kill someone. But when I saw him…he just looked so broken and he was so happy I was there, regardless of the reason why."

She stopped again to catch her breath, feeling those unshed tears coming back up to haunt her. Jax's arm wrapped itself around her shoulders and he squeezed her left shoulder as if to say, it's ok, I'm here for you. She took a deep breath and made herself keep talking.

"The shock of seeing him like that, so helpless and defeated, I didn't know how to process that. I still don't."

"That's ok, Kate," he spoke up. "You don't have to. You're entitled to feel however you feel."

"That's just it. I don't know how I feel. I wanted so badly to be pissed at him, to show him how pissed I was for getting into all this shit because of a contract he signed almost ten years ago without even telling me. But I wasn't. I just felt…God, I felt bad for him. I didn't like seeing him like that. I didn't like seeing him in prison period. And all I could think about was how the last time I saw him I told him I hated him and that I hoped to God he wouldn't remember or still be angry with me."

"Otto's not like that." Jax stated quietly.

She nodded sadly. "Yeah, I know. You know, it's crazy…I've spent the better part of my life trying to figure out why he didn't care about me enough to stay out of prison, why he left me and then I find out that he had tried to take care of me, in his own way at least. He told me if he had known it would turn out like this that he never would've signed that contract with Clay. But he wanted me to have the opportunity to have a normal life, to get away from Charming, have friends that didn't have tattoos or ride on the back of motorcycles. He wanted me to be able to get away if I wanted to, Jax…I never even thought about why he'd ever get that trust for me in the first place…"

He squeezed her shoulder again and pulled her a little bit closer to him.

"Why didn't I tell him that I did everything he wanted me to? Why didn't I tell him I went to college…that I have my own store, that I'm ok, that I'm going to be ok?"

She couldn't hold the tears at bay any longer. This had been a long time coming and now they were rolling steadily down her cheeks. Jax glanced at her and frowned worriedly, squeezing her shoulder again.

"Don't cry, Kate." He whispered hoarsely into her ear.

"I…I'm sorry, Jax…"

"Hey," he pulled her even closer as he spoke. "You don't have anything to sorry for."

"But Jax…he told me that I could come back anytime I wanted to…"

"So if you wanna go back, just say the word and we'll go."

She shut her eyes tightly, which sent another round of tears sliding down her cheeks. " When he first got sent to prison, I would lay in bed every night and listen to my mom sobbing. When I couldn't hear it anymore, I knew she'd gotten high so I would go into her room and make sure she was still breathing. Then I would lie on the other side of the bed, on my dad's side, and press my face into the pillow to see if I could still smell him. After awhile, it just smelled like the cheap fabric softener my mom used. So then, I would lie in bed next to my mom and try to remember what his voice sounded like. I'd try to remember every conversation we'd ever had, everything we'd ever laughed about. I always held on to the sound of his voice when he called me Katie and when he said he loved me. I tried so hard to hang onto that, to remember but when I couldn't remember that anymore, when I couldn't hear his voice in my head…that's when I went to visit him and told him I hated him and that I hoped he rotted in jail."

A loud sob escaped from her lips and she winced at the sound of it. Jax's hand was in her hair now and the tears just kept coming.

"I should've told him that I loved him too today before they took him away but I just couldn't." She continued quietly.

"You can't beat yourself up like this, Kate."

"I want to forgive him so bad Jax…I just can't."

He nodded silently and pulled her closer to him, wrapping both arms tightly around her. She shut her eyes again and allowed herself to collapse into his arms. She cried quietly into his shoulder, finally feeling the weight of everything she had experienced that day. It was still so fresh her in mind and even after finally letting herself try to process it, she couldn't completely wrap her mind around everything she was feeling. It wasn't all just her father; there was the ever-comforting presence of Jax, who was holding her now as she cried into his shoulder.

He was pushing her back now and gently brushing a few stray strands of hair out off of her face. She squeezed her eyes shut again and another large tear slid down her face. His thumb ran across her cheek, catching the tear before it had a chance to follow its trail all the way down her face. For a moment, his eyes found hers, full of something she'd never seen before; his thumb lightly grazed her chin and then their lips were pressed together. Somehow, her arms wrapped themselves around his neck and his arms were pulling her closer to him, his hands lingering dangerously close to the small of her back.

And then, just as quickly as it had started, she found herself pulling back and unwound her arms from around his neck to fall into her lap. She was breathing heavily and when she dared to glance at him, he was rubbing his face with his hands.

He got up suddenly and took a few steps away from the picnic table. He fumbled into his back pocket for a moment and then anxiously lit up a cigarette. He puffed for a few minutes with his back to her and all she could do was hold her face in her hands, rubbing tiredly, completely spent for the day. If she could still barely process what had happened hours earlier at the prison, then it was bound to take days, maybe even weeks before she would be able to comprehend what had just happened between them. And that was if she even wanted to do that to begin with.

He flicked the spent butt onto the pavement and waited a moment before turning to face her. When he finally did, he still wasn't really looking at her.

"Jax, I…"

"I thought we said we weren't going to apologize to each other anymore, right?" He asked, his lips curving into a lop-sided grin.

She forced a smile and exhaled deeply.

"Hey," he started again as he took a few steps towards the table. "That was…well, it wasn't supposed to happen, right? I mean, you don't want where that might've been headin'."

"It was a mistake." She affirmed with a nod.

"Yeah."

Another small smile crossed his face and she wondered fleetingly who they were both really trying to convince.

"You were put through the emotional ringer today. This wasn't a big deal or anything, right? Shit happens."

"Yeah," she nodded again.

His head leaned to one side and he bit his lip in thought. She knew, probably as well as he did, that chances were good it was more than 'nothing', like they were trying to convince themselves. But even if it was something, that something was still a mistake and still something that they both knew couldn't happen. Everything had just gotten too complicated, too dangerous, and too emotionally charged. There would be no romantic admission because it was too risky to even think about the feelings behind it. She couldn't afford to even more involved with Samcro than she already was, especially given everything she'd learned today. Jax was part of Samcro and so she needed to keep her distance, even more so than before. Besides, she hadn't gone nine years of putting as much ground between her and Samcro as humanly possible to just throw it all away for one stupid kiss.

But even now, she could still feel his lips on hers.

"Hey, I better get goin'," he was saying now. "Abel's been out for awhile so it should be safe for me to get him back into bed."

"Right, yeah…so…"

"I'll be back tomorrow morning. I'll probably bring the prospect too; we've got some business to take care of so we'll probably be out of your way for most of the day."

She nodded again and ran a hand through her hair, realizing how terrible she must look. She watched as he walked closer and closer to his truck and peered into the back seat window at a sleeping Abel.

"I'm glad you brought him, Jax."

He turned back to her and grinned. "Yeah, me too. See ya tomorrow, Kate."

"Bye, Jax."

She started up the stairs and waved as she watched him get into the truck. He turned momentarily to check on Abel and then started the engine. She was expecting him to high-tail it out of there to put as much physical distance between them as possible but she frowned when he continued to just sit there with the engine running. It took her a moment to realize that he was waiting for her to go inside before he was going to pull away. She didn't feel her normal pangs of resentment at that realization. She was just confused. Part of her wanted to sprint down the stairs and say anything to get him to stay but then the rational side of her won out.

Inside of looking back at Jax, she opened the door to let Jake in and then followed him inside, back to her escape.

She didn't, however, notice that Jax sat parked where he was for a few minutes after. He was struggling with what he was feeling because he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt it. He probably couldn't even name the feeling if he tried, not that he really wanted to. Still, something about what had just happened felt different than anything he'd ever experienced. Then he shook his head. This wasn't like him to sit by a girl's door and just sit there staring at it. He'd never done this before. He'd never done any of this before. He wasn't a pussy.

But Kate had been right. It was a mistake. It was just the shitty by-product of a shit day. That was all.

Still, he looked up at her door one more time, waiting for…what? He shook his head again, hoping that would shake it out of him. That still didn't stop him from glancing up at her door one last time.

"Sweet dreams, darlin'." He breathed out, barely even hearing himself.

Then, he shifted into reverse and drove off, back to Charming and back to reality.

* * *

><p><strong>AN-**Oh boy...well, that was bound to happen eventually right? Not to mention just about everything else that happened. This was also a huge set-up for the little twist coming up in the next chapter.

With school starting again, I can't promise super-speedy updates, but I can promise that the updates will keep coming, just more slowly. I definitely have a plan and an endgame in mind for this and I want to see it through.

Thanks for your continued support! Now...please R/R! Also, if you'd like to make a guess about the twist...


	9. Oil and Water

**A/N-**Sorry about the wait again...real life has totally taken over the last few weeks but it's starting to settle down again. I'm so excited to finally get this chapter out of my head-I've been thinking about this moment in the story since day one of planning-and this is definitely where the story will start to take a different turn. Nobody guessed the twist so I guess that's a good thing (and I didn't hint too much). Anyways, I hope you like it!

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><p>LOVE SONG<p>

Chapter Nine

The next morning, Kate woke up in a fog. The alarm was blaring in her ear and Jake was lapping anxiously at her hand. On any other day, one of those would have been enough to force her to peel herself out of bed. Today, neither of them seemed to be enough. She just wanted to lie there, curled up in the safety of her fluffy down comforter until everything else just went away. The day before had drained any remaining energy and motivation completely out of her. She just didn't feel like herself anymore.

It seemed like everyday there was a new drama, a new reason to hate her life, a new reason to feel uncomfortable, and a new reason to feel like the walls were closing in on her. Yesterday had been the final nail in the coffin, so to speak. She felt like all the fight left in her had been emotionally beaten out of her. And now she had to face the byproducts of the day before, which was exactly why she couldn't bring herself to leave the bed. She wanted to hide. Part of her wanted to just throw everything she could grab into a bag, shove Jake into her Rav-4 and get the hell out of town. The longer she stayed there, the deeper the roots seemed to pull her in.

Jake nudged at her hand with his nose now and whimpered. She groaned and forced herself, one leg in front of the other, to get out of bed. At least that was a start. She supposed it was better than nothing. Probably a little better than skipping town.

Her normal routine was plagued by dread of the day yet to come. It was Jax's birthday so she really couldn't get around having to face him. He would be at the store soon and then they'd have to tip toe around each other and awkwardly pretend like the night before had never happened. At the time, it seemed like such an easy thing to do. But now that the reality was smacking her square in the face, it didn't seem that way. It freaking sucked.

Before long, she just couldn't put it off any longer. She had to go downstairs. She couldn't avoid this anymore. And she knew what she needed to do: she needed to sort of act like an adult today. They were both adults. They could go about their usual business and be cordial. They could. Right?

Of course, it didn't really help that she was still trying to wade through her visit with her father. And her talk with Opie. What happened the day before was like the perfect storm of emotional wreckage and turmoil. God…could she be anymore melodramatic…grow up, she told herself. Pull yourself together and be a big kid. She'd already made it this far and she wasn't going to crumble now, even though she was aching to.

Jake was barking again and scratching at the door. And then she heard the motorcycle engine. Shit. And he was early too. On his birthday no less. This was shaping up to be another stellar day.

With one last look in the mirror, and an exasperated sigh at her reflection, she skidded through her apartment, grabbed the present she'd debated back and forth about, and opened the door for Jake before he clawed it down. He barreled down the steps and practically leapt into Jax's arms.

"Easy there," he laughed, lightly pushing Jax down. He tucked some windblown hair behind his ear and glanced up at her. He smiled quickly at her then his hands were in his pockets and he was lighting a cigarette.

"Those things can kill you, you know." She joked. She knew it was a lame attempt but she was willing to try anything to keep this from getting too awkward. She had a feeling it wasn't going to take much.

"Yeah," he chuckled good-naturedly. "But so can stress, right?"

"Not gonna lie…I've been thinking about giving my old therapist a call."

He froze for a moment with his cigarette half-way to his lips, then, after a beat, he smiled again. He'd obviously figured out that she really was just joking and she heard him chuckle softly. She figured this was a good a time as any to get rid of the package weighing down her hand. So against her better judgment, and in spite of the awkwardness permeating the space between them, she pushed the wrapped package towards him.

He frowned and flicked his cigarette to the ground. "What's this?"

She just rolled her eyes. "It's your birthday, isn't it? I figured I couldn't show up to a biker birthday party with a present so I'm giving it to you now."

A lop-sided grin slid onto his face and he gingerly took the present from her hands. "You know you didn't have to, right?"

She shrugged. "So what? Do you want the present or not?"

"Shit," he grinned. "Alright, alright. I'll open it."

He swiftly ripped through the paper on both ends and then turned his brand new copy of TheHungerGames over several times in his hands to inspect it. Watching him just stand there staring at her gift was unbelievably agonizing. She hadn't thought too deeply about his gift; she'd just grabbed it off the shelf and wrapped it, feeling like she needed to give him something, especially after everything they'd been through the last few weeks. Now she was starting to wish she'd put a little more thought into it.

"So…it's a book." She started cautiously.

His eyes shot up to meet hers and he smirked. "Yeah, I know. I just…"

"What?" If her hands weren't tucked safely inside her back pockets, she'd be wringing them anxiously now.

"This is gonna sound lame but I can't remember the last book I read, let alone got as a present."

She shrugged. "Well, maybe it's time you read one, right?"

He grinned back at her. "Right. What's it about anyways?"

"Well, it takes place in the future after some sort of apocalypse and the US is divided up into 13 colonies again. Every year, the government sends a boy and girl from each colony into the Hunger Games to fight to the death and they televise it. I figured all the violence, killing…anarchy…would be right up your alley."

That lop-sided grin slid onto his face again and the knot in her stomach twisted a little tighter.

"Yeah that sounds like something I might be interested in." He smirked before carefully tucking the book inside a small storage compartment in his bike.

She watched anxiously as he fiddled with some straps. It was obvious he felt the same tension that she did and neither one really knew what they were supposed to do now. He stood back from his bike and cautiously met her eyes only to quickly divert them back to the straps on his bike. The whole trying to act like an adult thing wasn't working out so well for either of them.

She sighed deeply and his head shot up immediately at the sound. His eyebrows hitched together and he shoved a hand in his pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He lit one up and puffed silently for a few moments, occasionally running a hand through his hair.

"So…" she whispered hoarsely. "Happy birthday, Jax."

He looked up at her again and nodded simply. There wasn't really anything else they could say at this point, at least, nothing that was necessary. It was clear the weight of the previous night's events was going to be too difficult to ignore. Even now, as he was staring at her, she couldn't keep herself from staring right back directly at his lips. That needed to stop.

He nodded to her again and then pushed open the store's back door, disappearing down the stairs into the basement. It was just as well. His presence was already distracting enough. Besides, she actually had some work she needed to do. And she had a feeling he needed some space from her just as much as she needed it from him.

About a half hour later, right as she was getting ready to open the doors, she heard another motorcycle engine roaring to a stop and then the back door opened.

"Hey, Kate." Kip called from where he stood. "How's it goin' today?"

She shrugged and waved. "Hi. I'm fine, thanks."

He smiled good-naturedly back at her and was about to respond before Jax's voice came hollering up from the basement:

"Quit with the small talk, Sack, and get down here and give me a god-damn hand."

Kip looked back to her apologetically and she just waved it off.

"Don't worry about Jax," she assured him. "I think he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something this morning."

"Isn't it his birthday though?"

She shrugged again and he just shook his head, waving goodbye before heading down to the basement. She listened for the basement door to shut and let out a loud exhale. Alone at last. But the longer she was in the store by herself, the more off balance she felt. A few hours passed but she still didn't feel any better. There was a rapid pounding in her head that wasn't subsiding and, to top it off, the knot in her stomach was beginning to snowball.

What did it matter anyways? It wasn't as if anything could possibly come of that moment. It wasn't even a moment. It was an instance. Nothing more. People do all kinds of stupid, impulsive things when they're an emotional wreck and mostly live to tell about it. He had been comforting her; that was all. This wasn't the end of the world. She didn't have to sit around and mope about it all day, especially since Jax appeared to be perfectly fine with avoiding her for as long as possible. She wasn't even sure what she'd been expecting from him in the first place.

Of course it was going to be awkward. They'd stepped over the invisible line that had been drawn the second Jax and Clay had waltzed into her store weeks ago. It was time to step back over and stay on their respective sides. Besides, hadn't he said…what were his exact words…"you don't want where that might've been headin'"? It was clear to both of them that it had been a mistake, albeit a big one. And it was even more glaringly obvious that crossing the line again was going to land her in a world of shit she didn't need to be involved with.

And what exactly would that look like…stepping over that line again? Their lifestyles were like oil and water; they just didn't mix. There was no way either of them would be able to fit in the other's world for long without the push and pull of their responsibilities. Jax hadn't been back in her life for long but she'd never heard of any member of a motorcycle gang, outlaw or not, that left the life at a young age. From her understanding, you wore the patch until you were six feet under or until you were too old and crippled to ride and that didn't even include the time in between spent in prison. There wasn't much room for exceptions to that particular philosophy. And she wasn't anywhere close to being the type of woman that would put up with that nor did she have any desire to be. She wouldn't become anything like her mother. And she would not, under any circumstances, have the same type of relationship her parents did. She couldn't sit around and wait for Jax to either end up in prison or shot. There was nothing about the circumstances that could ever function normally.

She heard a loud sigh at her feet and looked down at Jake, who was resting underneath her chair at the counter. He was staring up at her as if to say, "come on, don't tell me you're not thinking about it…" That damn dog seemed to know everything.

"What?" She asked him exasperatedly.

His ears shot up at the sound of her voice and he lifted his head to listen with wide eyes.

"It's not like it's going to happen again, you know." She told him pointedly. "So what if it was kinda sweet and so what if I kinda want to kiss him again. It's not gonna happen, Jake. Don't get your hopes up."

Jake put his head back down dejectedly. She nodded triumphantly to herself at this small victory. That'll show him. She looked back down at the paperwork in front of her and sighed.

There was just too much swimming around in her head for her to even stay focused on one task at a time. She found herself picking up a pile of paperwork that needed finishing and then her thoughts would drift to what had happened the night before and the paperwork seemed to drift back to the desk. It certainly didn't help that she'd seen only two customers the entire day, which was steadily becoming a trend as of late, and the store was currently dead empty. She couldn't allow herself to tackle that thought just yet. The implications of that was most likely going to be way more than she was equipped to handle at the moment.

As if on cue, the bell on the front door dinged and her head immediately lifted at the sound. Finally, she thought. Usually that sound meant more customers, more business, more money…but the sight of the Mexican men in their leather cuts with the words "Mayan" sewn across the back did not muster the same reaction from her. She froze at the sight of them and it took her a beat too long to plaster on a fake smile. She stood up shakily from her chair and Jake was around the counter in a flash, his tail standing at attention, ready to strike if necessary. He let out one loud bark and then kept his eyes trained on the three men standing less than ten feet away.

She tried to control her breathing, to stay calm, and to think. She had to stay one step ahead of them otherwise this could end very badly. She slowly reached under the counter to search for her phone and when she found it, she had to fight from letting out a sigh of relief.

The Mayans nodded a curt greeting her way before taking a step closer. Jake growled.

"Jake…" she warned. "It's alright. They're just customers."

As she spoke, she flipped open her phone from underneath the counter and with a silent prayer of thanks that Jax had programmed his number into her speed dial, she hit the button.

The Mayan closer to her took another step towards the counter before speaking with a heavy accent. "Hola senorita…we were just passing through and could've sworn we saw some bikes parked out back. Figured we'd come in and make sure la bonita was alright."

"I'm fine. Thanks, though."

Was that it? Would they leave now?

"You know…we've been through this way before and this isn't the first time we've seen bikes parked in the back." Another Mayan asked with a sly smile.

"I don't…"

"Now, mija," The closest Mayan spoke again. "I would take this very seriously if I were you…we wouldn't want to have to cut up that pretty face of yours."

She could feel her heart begin to beat wildly in her chest. This had quickly gone from bad to worse in a matter of seconds. She forced herself not to look at the back door; she just had to believe that Jax had not only gotten her call but had gotten the message that something was very, very wrong upstairs.

"We know Jax Teller is here," The Mayan went on. "His bike is parked in the back; there's another Son here too. We know Teller's been here almost every day for almost a month."

He paused and seemed to be expecting her to have a response. She wasn't even sure she could still speak, let alone formulate an answer. Her mind was racing with options but what made the most sense? She just couldn't think of anything…she needed to tell them something though because she had a feeling she was quickly running out of time and the Mayans just kept closing in on her. The longer she stalled, the sooner they'd realize that Jax was the in the basement and what he was doing there, which would most likely end with them all in pieces strewn across her store.

"So," the third Mayan spoke up. "Why is Teller here? The sooner you tell us, the easier for you this will be."

Her response fell out of her lips before she could think better of it. "What are you planning on doing?"

The trio of Mayans looked at each other and smirked. They reminded her of vultures she had seen on the Discovery Channel. They had a similar look in their eyes right before they pounced on their prey. A split second later, one was lunging at her and then a cold blade was pressed dangerously close to her neck.

"Don't make me ask you again," he whispered menacingly to her. "Why is Teller here?"

The blade nipped at her neck and she felt a hot sting as he took a step closer to her. Her mind was blank and she just couldn't come up with anything that they might buy. The Mayan took another step and now his face was so close she could smell sweat, oil, and tequila.

Jake was barking ferociously and was just about to attack the arm that was threatening her when she spat out the first thought that came into her mind:

"I'm his old lady."

The Mayan's face contorted in confusion and the knife to her neck lowered. He looked back hesitantly at his brothers and then turned a hard face back to her.

"His old lady, you say?"

She nodded slowly, her eyes still trained on the knife extended towards her. A heartbeat later, Jax and Kip materialized out of the aisle closest to the trio of Mayans threatening her, their faces a contusion of shock, confusion, and wrath.

"Don't fucking touch her." Jax spat out darkly. As the Mayans turned away from her, his eyes immediately shot over to her, to make sure that she was alright, and she nodded quickly.

The Mayan wielding the knife held his hands innocently in the air and shrugged. "Didn't mean any harm, Teller. Just wanted to make sure everything was alright here. She tells us she's your old lady."

Jax didn't miss a beat. "Yeah, that's right. And you have two seconds to get the fuck off her property before I beat the shit out of all three of you assholes."

The Mayans glanced apprehensively to one another. The one holding the knife calmly closed it and shoved it back into his pocket, then held up a hand.

"Now, listen…we weren't going to hurt anybody…"

"Bullshit," Jax interjected hotly. "You pull a knife on my old lady but you weren't here to hurt anybody? I should fucking kill all three of you assholes right now…"

"Come on, you can't kill us for looking…not gonna lie, bro…you did very well for yourself. It's no wonder you've been hiding her out here all this time." One of the Mayans smirked, casting a glance back towards Kate.

"I'm not your bro and she's not yours to look at. Leave. Now." Jax stated firmly, taking a step closer to the Mayans with an expression of murder on his face.

"Alright, alright…we'll leave you to your old lady."

They began to turn towards the exit with grins on their faces and then the one who'd held the knife to her suddenly spun on his heel to step closer to her.

"I'd hide her too if I were you Teller," he sneered as he reached out to touch her hair. "She looks like she'd be a good fuck too."

The Mayan had barely touched the strands hanging off her shoulders and then Jax was on him, yanking him away from her. He threw the Mayan onto the floor and his fists started flying across the Mayan's face. He pummeled him with a few steady blows until another Mayan tackled him from behind, and then Kip threw him off of Jax, only to be hit in the face by the remaining Mayan.

Kate could only watch, frozen to the ground, as punch after punch landed all around and as blood spilt across the carpeting. Both Jax and Kip were good fighters but they were outnumbered. For every punch Jax landed, it seemed like he was served two in return. Then she remembered…she scrambled under the counter and when she finally had it in her hands, she waited.

She needed an opening and finally had it when Jax managed to throw one of the Mayans off of him and kicked him in the face.

"Jax!"

He turned at the sound of her voice and his eyes widened when he saw her gun slid across the counter to him. He snatched it off the glass and cocked it immediately at the three Mayans in the room.

"Get out now," he panted. "Before this gets worse."

The Mayans, knowing they'd been beaten, wiped the dripping blood from their faces and straightened their cuts.

"This isn't over, Teller." The Mayan snarled as they backpedaled towards the door.

"I'm counting on it, asshole." Jax retorted with a smirk. They exchanged one more jagged edged sneer and the Mayans backpedalled their way out of the store. Jax was right on their heels, slamming the door shut behind him and flipping the lock as he peered out the window to ensure that they were actually leaving.

"Get the back door, Sack!" He hollered to Kip, even though he was already high-tailing it to the back of the store.

Jax waited until the motorcycle engines echoed down the street before he turned to face her. She was leaning back on the counter, Jake tucked protectively against her legs, with a hand resting gingerly over the line of blood left behind on her neck. She was having a difficult time getting control of her breathing and clutched the edge of the counter with her other hand to stabilize herself.

He quickly closed the distance between them and then reached out to cup her neck gently, his thumb brushing across her cheek.

"Are you alright, Kate?" He asked hoarsely as he inspected the cut on her neck.

"I'm fine, Jax. It's just a scratch."

His eyebrows clenched together and his eyes kept their focus on her neck, on her face, on her eyes, just making sure she was still in one piece. His hand lingered on her neck and his thumb continued to run soothingly across her cheek.

"You sure you're ok?" He asked again, his eyes burning into hers.

She nodded and gripped the counter a little more tightly; between a knife being held to her throat, the brawl in her store, and Jax's touch on her face, she was beginning to feel light-headed.

"Jax…you're the one that's banged up to hell, not me," she sighed as his thumb slid down her cheek. "Come on…I have a first aid kit in the storage room."

He nodded and stiffly followed her to the back with a slight limp. She tried not to walk too briskly for him; she could tell he was in pain and after what happened, part of her just wanted to be close to him.

She sat him down on an empty crate in the storage room and began dapping at a nasty cut on his eye with an alcohol swab. He winced a little but then sat stoically as she bandaged as many of his cuts as she could.

"Some birthday, huh?" He joked, trying to ease the thickness in the air.

She forced a smile at his valiant attempt and bit her lip, refusing herself to meet his eyes for fear of what she might do.

"What do we do now, Jax?" She asked softly. It was a good a question as any.

He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. "We'll take it to the club; figure out what to do next. Everything will be alright."

She swallowed and looked down at her hands because they had started to tremble. "But what about…what I told them…"

He smiled softly and tilted his head back as he spoke. "What…the part about you being my new old lady?"

She took in a sharp breath and held it for a moment. "Yeah, that part."

He just shrugged, that stupid lop-sided grin sliding onto his face. She really hated it when he smiled at her like that. It was so frustrating.

"That was smart, you know," he started again. "Giving them that story. They seemed to buy it so we might have to roll with that for a little while until we get everything else straightened out."

"But what does that mean…what does that mean for me?" She asked urgently.

He frowned and ran a hand over his face. "I'm not sure yet, Kate. We'll get all that figured out; I promise."

They were silent for a moment, both staring at their feet, unsure of what to say or do next. She hadn't given what she'd said any real consideration; it had just dropped out of her mouth the second she'd thought it. She'd needed to say something, anything, to convince them that Jax was there for a legitimate reason. But why that had been the first thing to run across her mind was lost on her. Either way, it had served its purpose, even though she figured that train of spontaneous, albeit irrational, thinking was going to have some repercussions.

A moment later, Jax was rummaging around the first aid kit for a large bandage. He leaned forward and silently, carefully, set the bandage over the knife-long scratch across her neck. She watched him, unable to speak as his fingers lightly grazed the tender part of her neck and couldn't stop herself from trembling a little.

"I better go make some calls," he whispered, getting up from the crate. She nodded, knowing that was necessary given the situation they currently found themselves in.

She sighed as she watched him leave and figured she might as well go looking for Kip; he'd been just as badly banged up as Jax, if not worse, so the least she could do was help clean him up a little too.

A little less than a half hour later, she was on her hands and knees trying to scrub as much blood out of the carpeting as she could. She sighed exasperatedly when she realized that she had made next to no progress. It was almost hopeless. The carpet was ruined; who knew what was going to happen to her life now that she had basically served herself up on a platter to Samcro.

"Hey," Jax's soft voice broke through her dark thoughts. "Don't worry about the carpet. I'll get someone in here to clean it."

She sighed again. Why did he always have to be so damn capable? Always had a plan…always knew what to do, for the most part. At least, if her fate and safety had to be in someone's hands other than her own, it might as well be Jax's, who always seemed to have some semblance of a game plan.

"Look," he was saying now. "The club is going to have church in an hour so we can figure this shit out. Go up to your apartment, pack whatever you need for a couple days, whatever you need for Jake; I'll be up there in a few minutes to help you bring everything down."

"A couple of days? What…"

He just shook his head. "You can't stay here right now. It's too dangerous now that the Mayans know we're connected, at least until we figure out what to do. Don't worry about the store; the prospects will be able to take care of everything while we're gone."

"Where will I stay?"

He shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I've got a spare room at my house. Besides, if we need to play this thing out like I think we will, then that's where you need to be anyways."

She swallowed down the warm, sick feeling that rose up her throat. There were so many things wrong with what he said she didn't even know where to start. There wouldn't be any going back now. She'd said what she said and now the consequences were going to come back to haunt her. If someone had told her three weeks ago that she would be in this position, she would have laughed right in their face. Maybe even smacked them in the face too. Because how could her situation possibly be any worse than having her store over-run with Samcro and their cargo? Well, little did she know…it could get worse.

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><p>When they pulled up to Teller-Morrow, Gemma was already there waiting for them tapping her heels in impatience. She barely let Jax turn off his bike before she was hovering over him looking for answers.<p>

"Are you alright?" She demanded. "Is Kate alright?"

"Jesus Christ, Ma, everyone's fine."

She took hold of his chin to inspect the new bruises and black eye forming on his face. "Who patched you up?"

"Kate did."

She nodded slowly, deep in thought before turning to see Kate letting Jake out her back seat. Jake immediately scurried around the side of the Rav-4, nose to the ground to investigate his new surroundings. When he caught sight of Gemma, his head bent down, ears laid flat and his eyes moved curiously from Jax to Gemma. After a moment of consideration, he seemed to sense that she was somewhat trustworthy given her interaction with Jax and trotted over to her outreached hand.

"This must be the killer golden retriever," she said warmly as she ruffled the fur on the back of his neck. She looked back up at Jax and gestured with her head towards the clubhouse. "Club's waiting for you inside, Jax."

He nodded solemnly and cast a quick glance of reassurance to Kate before trudging to the clubhouse. It was time for the question and answer shit that he didn't want to have to deal with right then. What he really wanted to do was punch Clay in the face for insisting that they hadn't needed a cover for Kate, and that they hadn't needed to take shifts at the store. He was always so fucking over-confident, always so self-righteous. Kate could've easily gotten killed if she hadn't thought so quickly on her feet, or at the very least, seriously injured. That didn't even include his own involvement in this pile of shit situation. He would deal with that later over a bottle of whiskey.

Just like Gemma said, the club was waiting for him at the table. When he opened the door, they were already standing to greet him, to slap him on the shoulder and make sure he was all there in one piece. He took his place next to Clay and clenched his fists in preparation of what was about to come next.

"Alright," Clay began with his gravelly voice. "Let's get all this shit straight here: the Mayans walked into the bookstore, you were in the basement with the prospect, and one of those pieces of shit held a knife to Kate's throat. Am I doing ok, so far Jax?"

He nodded silently, his blood beginning to boil at the not so distant memory. If he'd had a gun when he'd first seen Kate, wide-eyed and scared as hell, with a knife pressed to her throat, those three assholes would've been shot where they stood. Instead, he'd had the pleasure of pummeling each one of them despite the blows he'd taken in return. It had been fucking worth it.

"So then," Clay went on, the rest of the club listening intently. "They ask what you're doin' there and she tells them she's your old lady at which point you and the prospect get there and the fight commences. Is that everything we need to know, Jax?"

He sighed and nodded thankfully to Juice, who slid a pack of cigarettes over to him. "That's not exactly how the fight got goin'."

"How exactly did it start then?" Tig interjected, leaning forward in his seat.

Jax sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. "I told those shitheads not to touch her and get the hell out of there. When they were going to leave, one of them said he'd hide her too if he were me, said she looked like a good fuck and then the bastard touched her hair. That's when I started pummeling the piece of shit."

The table was silent for a moment as they each digested this new piece of information.

"They were testing you then." Opie stated simply.

"Yeah," Jax nodded. "And I guess I gave them the reaction they were lookin' for."

"It's a damn good thing you didn't kill any of those Mexican arses," Chibs offered. "Otherwise we'd be dealing with a whole shitload of new problems with the Mayans."

"It's not over." Tig cut in with a huff. "The Mayans aren't going to let this go."

"My guess is they're gonna keep up with the surveillance for a few weeks to make sure Kate was tellin' the truth." Jax concluded as he blew out some smoke and pressed the spent cigarette butt into the ashtray.

"If they find out it's not, we're goin' to have some issues. They find out Kate was lying and they kill her. They find out what's in her basement and there's gonna be retaliation, maybe war if they're really pissed off." Opie said softly.

"Not to beat a dead horse or anything," Jax added with a dark undercurrent of malice directed at Clay. "But we might not be in this predicament right now if we'd had a better plan, you know, like a cover."

"Don't start that shit," Clay spat back, pointing a finger at Jax. "You're not helpin' anything here. We have war breathin' down our necks. You need to leave your personal shit at the door before you sit down at this table. Besides, if you'd been doing your job there, we also might not be in this predicament right now."

"I wasn't doing my job? Me and the prospect were in the basement, like we were supposed to be, and then those fuckers walked in and held a knife to her throat." Jax threw back with venom.

"And then she fed them a line that served up another pile of shit for us to deal with." Tig cut in angrily.

Jax slammed a fist on the table. "What should she have said instead, Tig?"

Tig looked away furiously, still pissed off at the situation and then the room was silent for a few tense moments.

"You know," Opie finally broke the silence with quiet calmness. "We're all god-damn lucky she gave them the story she did. They might not have believed anything else."

"Then we gotta make this little story about Jax and Kate the truth. The last thing this club needs is more shit with the Mayans." Clay stated with a weary glance towards Jax. He was clearly sick of fighting and just wanted this resolved.

Juice nudged Jax with his elbow. "Looks like you got yourself an old lady for a few weeks."

All Jax could do was shrug and look away. He had no idea what he was feeling right now but he sure as hell wasn't going to let any piece of spill over onto the Redwood. One more thing to work out over that bottle of Jack Daniel's.

"Something about this still doesn't feel right." Tig stated, shaking his head solemnly.

Bobby shrugged from across the table and took a long pull from his cigar in thought. "The way I figure, this is as air tight as we're gonna get. She's Otto's daughter and the Mayans aren't stupid enough to miss the history there and connect the dots. Jax startin' that fight the way he did was probably enough to back up the story. This is the only card we've got left to play at this point."

Another murmur passed around the table and even Tig had to nod his head in agreement. They're backs were clearly up against the wall and Jax felt himself sigh with relief as the tension seemed to die down a little. They would come up with a plan and although it was far from ideal, it would save Kate from becoming another MC casualty and prevent all-out war with the Mayans.

"So," Clay was saying now. "This little arrangement with Jax and his 'old lady' stays on a need to know basis. Gemma needs to be in on this scam for obvious reasons. Anyone else?"

"Lyla should know too. She'll be able to help Kate." Opie offered quietly.

Jax nodded and then looked to Clay, who nodded his agreement as well.

"Alright, Gemma and Lyla and that's yet. This has gotta look real for all intents and purposes. You think you can swing that, Jax?"

All eyes were on Jax now and he swallowed heavily. This was on his shoulders. One slip and people he cared about were going to get hurt. And, he didn't know whether it was a curse or a blessing, but he had a feeling that making it 'look real' with Kate was most likely going to be no problem at all.

* * *

><p>With church over and the members of Samcro splitting off to ready themselves for his birthday blow-out later that evening, Jax was left with the unfortunate task of giving Kate the bad news. He wasn't expecting her to be thrilled with the charade they were going to have to pull and he really couldn't blame her either. Of course, there was the fact that she had been the one to blurt out that she was his old lady. He still was having troubles wrapping his head around that one but on the other hand, he couldn't think of anything else she could've said that the Mayans might've bought.<p>

He found Kate and his mother right where he'd left them and he wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing. Kate didn't look anymore shaken than she did before, given the situation, which probably meant that Gemma hadn't yet descended with her talons.

"Hey Ma," he called out, making both of them turn at the sound of his voice. "Can I have a word with Kate?"

She nodded, her eyes narrowed slightly and her hands immediately went to her hips. She'd obviously put two and two together and was now analyzing how this recent development would effect her and those closest to her.

Kate was watching him now with a knot of dread building in her stomach. She'd been waiting very impatiently while he was gone and judging by the mix of weariness, frustration, and apology in his still-alarmingly blue eyes, the news was not going to be good.

"So we have to go along with this, don't we?" She exhaled with frustration.

He nodded slowly and dug in his back pocket for his cigarette pack. "Me and the prospect will keep coming to the store; we're not going to be bringing any new cargo into the store now that we know the Mayans are tailing us but that also means we can't take any old cargo out."

"Ok, so…how long are we going to have to pretend to be…" She couldn't even really say the words at this point. Nor did she really want to know the answer to her question.

"Look, Kate," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "The only way this works is if we make it look real. You're gonna have to spend more time in Charming and at the club house. You're gonna have to spend some nights at my place so you can be seen leavin' it in the morning. The way I figure, we keep it goin' for a month, maybe two, three tops…until the Mayans see enough to forget about it. Then, if anyone asks…I guess I tell them it wasn't working out between us."

Three months tops? Part of her wanted to believe him. The other part of her had a sinking feeling this would have to go on longer than he was saying. She knew he was just trying to protect her again, given the fact that she'd been the one to put them in this predicament anyways.

"So I have to be your old lady." She said slowly, testing out the words.

"Looks like it."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, Jax. I know this is my fault."

He frowned and put his hands in his pockets to keep himself from putting an arm around her shoulders. He wasn't necessarily ready to start with the physical contact yet, especially since the first time he had, it had actually been for real.

"You don't have anything to sorry about. You saved our asses. Hell, it was our fault for not prepping you for what to say in case that happened." He reassured her, keeping his hands firmly in his pockets.

"Well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry I indirectly got your ass kicked on your birthday."

He smirked as he shook his head. "Hey, I seem to remember some of those Mayan shitheads getting what was comin' to them too."

She smiled. "Yeah, I guess. But, thanks anyway…you know for not letting them hurt me."

He looked down at the cracked concrete and she could see his jaw clenching tightly. He shoved his hands forcefully into his pockets and exhaled loudly before meeting her gaze again with a cloudy expression.

"I would do it again, you know," he said roughly. "Nothing is gonna happen to you, Kate."

She swallowed and nodded, forcing herself to look away from him. She couldn't look him in the eye; it was too much to see the concern and some other indiscernible emotion in his eyes…let alone relive the feeling of a knife pressed to her neck. That was definitely something she never wanted to experience again.

They stood there for a few moments in silence. They couldn't look at each other. She had half a mind to rest a hand against his shoulder, to somehow move closer to him. His presence next to her was oddly calming and he seemed to be shifting closer to where she was standing. It wouldn't take much for him to put an arm around her shoulders. After all, he'd done it before but, she had to remind herself, that had been purely comforting, purely out of friendship. In only a matter of hours, they would have to play the part anyways.

She sighed again and decided it was time to break the silence. "So I guess that means I'll be making a mandatory appearance at your birthday party."

He nodded. "Yeah, we're expecting a visit from our Mexican friends so they would know somethin' was up if you weren't."

"I don't know anything about being an old lady, Jax. I mean, I know I'm not actually going to be an old lady. I just…I don't know the rules. I don't know how I'm supposed to act or dress or say or anything."

"That's where my mom and Ope's old lady, Lyla, come in. They'll help you with whatever you need."

He smiled encouragingly as he looked over to the entrance of Teller-Morrow, where Gemma was watching them. She caught the look in his eye and nodded in understanding, before rubbing her forehead and heading back inside the office.

He motioned with his head towards the office door and Kate knew he was telling her it was time for her first lesson from the First Old Lady herself. He smiled one more time and she bravely smiled back, and despite her urge to fling herself back into her Rav-4, she started heading towards the office. And as she walked, she was beginning to feel more and more panicked. The gravity of the situation was finally dawning on her as the dust from the day began to settle. She was being pulled into the very predicament she'd been willing herself to avoid—deeper into the MC life, more connected to Samcro, and most damaging of all, more attached to Jax, regardless if it was pretense or not.

Any hope of getting out of this in one piece had been completely ripped out of her hands. Her life really was on the line here now. She knew exactly what would happen to her if the Mayans could wind of the lie. There was nothing she could do because there really was no other alternative. She would have to be Jax's fake old lady until Samcro deemed it was 'safe' for her. And the worst part of it all was that she'd done it to herself. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She'd completely thrown any control over her own fate right out the window in a moment of sheer self-preservation.

But yet, as she opened the door to the office, she glanced back into the parking lot of Teller-Morrow and found Jax watching her. She couldn't quite read the expression in his eyes but there was something in them that set off another wave of knots in her stomach, only this time, it wasn't because she was scared and it wasn't because she was feeling sick over her current situation. It was something completely different entirely. And that…was not something she had the capacity to deal with at the moment.

So in a stand of stubborn will and defiance, she turned back to the office without any acknowledgement to Jax, and went inside.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**-So there you have it...the twist! I'm very excited to explore this direction and see where these characters can go given their less-than-ideal situation. I'd been hinting at it a little bit (Opie and Jax talking about coming up with a cover) and I hope it lived up to your expectations. There's definitely going to be some fall-out to this, especially if they have to act the part _and _deal with the fact that they have some feelings for each other too.

Please let me know what you thought-loved it, hated it-let me know! I love reading your feedback and it definitely keeps me motivated! R/R!


	10. Abel

LOVE SONG

Chapter Ten

"Ok, let me get this straight," Gemma sniffed with a hand perched stiffly against her hip. "The only solution to this Mayan problem is for you to pretend to be Jax's old lady..."

"Yeah, I guess," Kate shrugged and tried her hardest not to make eye contact with her.

"And this was your genius idea?" Gemma cocked an icy eye brow at her.

"Yeah."

"And Jax sent you in here because you have no idea what the hell you just got yourself into."

"Pretty much." She shrugged again.

Gemma sighed and rubbed her forehead with freshly manicured fingers. She stepped over to the window of the office and snapped the blinds down to get a look at her son, who was still standing next to Kate's Rav-4 with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"That smug little shit," Gemma muttered under her breath.

She tilted her head back to Kate and motioned for her to join her at the window. Kate hesitated for a moment, not sure if this was good or bad or if Gemma was going to stab her with her pointy fingernails. But at some point, she knew she had to start playing along. She knew she had to do whatever Gemma told her to do, within reason of course, because if she didn't…it wouldn't be just her store that she would lose. Right about now, she was beginning to wish she hadn't gotten out of bed that morning.

"You see that smile?" Gemma started, pointing a finger at Jax, who had that lop-sided grin on his face that she hated so much.

"Yeah," she replied begrudgingly.

"That smile," Gemma said with a proud grin, "makes those crow-eaters fling their dirty panties at him before he even gets across the room."

"Ok." She had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. That seemed like a bad move around the guy's mother.

"And it's that smile brings that me to the most important thing you need to know about being an old lady, fake or not: never, ever let another woman get within ten feet of your man. Crow eaters are your worst enemy—they'll throw everything they can at him to get him to bite and they will too, especially since it's his birthday."

"Ok, great…so how exactly do I do that considered I'm not exactly going to be jealous?"

Gemma just shrugged. "Fake it. Don't leave his side. Keep your hips glued to his and an arm around him at all times. Any crow-eater skank gets too close you gotta bring out those claws. They'll get the hint pretty quickly that they're treading on private property but they're gonna test you first. If you can convince the crow-eaters, you can convince anybody that this little charade is for real."

And now came the inevitable panic. How was she supposed to do that when she could barely handle being within two feet of him?

She began to furiously shake her head. "I don't know if I can do this, Gemma…it's too…"

Gemma hitched an eyebrow and licked her lips. "Too what, sweetheart? You need to think long and hard about your predicament right about now because the next 24 hours are critical in whether or not you live or die. The only way you stay alive is if you and Jax play happy family and the only way you actually convince anyone that's true is if those skanky whores believe you're serious about Jax."

Now her head was beginning to pound. Each moment that passed made the dull ache in her forehead grow sharper and sharper.

"I know…I know…I understand what needs to happen and I understand why it needs to happen…I just wish I'd thought this through a little more." She sighed.

Gemma shrugged and didn't bother to respond; she just continued to stare her down. This was not going well.

"So what…I have to completely alter my personality and dress like a whore and hump Jax in public…I don't…"

"That's not what I said, sweetie," Gemma clipped.

She turned to face her with a hard expression and Kate almost stepped back as a knee-jerk reaction. That wasn't a look she'd seen in a while and she was beginning to have flashbacks of their scary after dinner conversation only two weeks before. Part of her wanted to turn around and sprint to her car as fast as she could, maybe running Jax over while she was at it…and the other part of her wanted to find a pillow and scream into it. Unfortunately, neither of those would change nor help her current situation.

Gemma was holding her by the elbow now and pushed her into a chair. She sat down directly across from Kate and folded her arms across her chest with a calculated deliberateness.

"Now," she began icily. "I never thought I would ever say this to you…mainly because I never saw this as the right kind of life for you…but you have the stones to make one hell of an old lady. You're independent enough to let your man know you don't need him; you're smart enough to keep yourself alive; you're confident enough to keep him in his place and you're hot enough to keep him comin' home every night. You've got everything the best kind of old lady needs."

"What kind is that?" She asked, almost not wanting to know the answer…she could barely believe her ears.

"The kind that keep their men and stay alive."

There was a short silence and Gemma seemed to take a step back from her to survey her demeanor. She wasn't quite leering at her with the icy passive aggressiveness she had been before.

"Now," Gemma began again. "As far as the other shit goes, the only thing you need to change about yourself is your attitude. As long as you keep reminding yourself that it's not real, that it's just to keep your skinny ass alive, you'll be just fine, sweetheart."

She exactly what Gemma meant by that…even if she wasn't going to come straight out and say it. She didn't need to be reminded that it wasn't real nor did she need to be spoken to in such a condescending tone. But she wouldn't have expected anything less from the woman that seemed to change moods as often as crow-eaters changed their underwear.

"Well," she pushed through clenched teeth, trying her best to muster up some gratitude. "I appreciate your advice, Gemma; I really do."

"Just tryin' to do my part." Gemma smiled, a little too easily. "Any questions, just let me know."

"Thanks…so…what should I do now?"

As if on cue, the office door swung open and petite, pretty blonde dressed in a tight white tank top and tiny jean shorts sauntered in as she pushed her sunglasses above her forehead.

"Hey there, Lyla." Gemma greeted in a much friendlier tone than she had ever used with Kate.

"Hi Gemma," the blonde answered warmly and then looked over at her before extending a hand for her to shake. "You must be Kate. I'm Lyla…it's great to finally meet you."

Kate cautiously shook her hand and then the name clicked. "Hi…"

"Opie called and told me you might need a little help for tonight so here I am."

"That's awfully nice of you, Lyla," Gemma cut in gently.

"I figured we should probably take a drive over to Jax's so you can drop off your stuff and get changed…get settled a little. I have no idea where all the guys went but most of their bikes are gone so they won't care if we have some girl time for a couple of hours."

It took Kate a moment to register everything she'd said because she was beginning to remember just where she'd seen this tiny woman before. Even though her mother's funeral had been more than several years ago, there were bits and pieces of that day that were difficult to forget: the sight of the ivory coffin with its satin pillows, the pink turtleneck that just barely hid the finger marks on her mother's neck, Gemma crying softly next to her, the sound of motorcycles humming a safe distance away, and a small band of her mother's 'girls' that kept to themselves and stayed in the back. Lyla had definitely been one of those 'girls'.

"Kate?" Gemma's voice was calling out to her with a slight hint of uncharacteristic concern.

She looked up to see both Gemma and Lyla watching her with careful expressions, as if they had read the emotions on her face and were now trying to decide what to do.

"Hmm? Oh…yeah, Lyla…I'd like that. I'll take any help I can get at this point." She replied quietly, trying to mask what she was feeling. This woman needed to be her ally if she was going to survive this and if she was willing to help, Kate would gladly take the help, regardless of Lyla's connection to her mother.

"Ok…" Lyla replied cautiously, as if she half-expected Kate to change her mind.

"Well," Gemma chimed in with a clap of her hands. "It sounds like you girls are gonna have some fun. Why don't you head over to Jax's…I think Neeta's still there with Abel. I'll stop by later to see how you girls are doin'."

Before she knew it, they were in her Rav-4 and she was following Lyla's directions to Jax's house. Jake had his head resting on the center console and was staring love-struck up at Lyla to con her into petting him. Kate glanced anxiously around, feeling her stomach tie itself in knots as they grew closer and closer to Jax's house. She hadn't expected to feel this way; after all, he had no problem claiming space in her tiny apartment, why should she feel awkward being in his house? Still, the knot was beginning to snowball.

"Here it is." Lyla said gently, pointing at the house.

She nodded and turned into the driveway of a modest-sized brick ranch and quickly appraised her surroundings. The grass seemed freshly cut, the landscaping was sparse but clean and well-kept, there were a few toy trucks left out near the sidewalk, and all in all, it seemed pretty normal. She'd half-expected everything to be a little more disheveled and a little more neglected, especially given his involvement in outlaw dealings and that it seemed like he was never actually 'home'.

A round woman greeted them at the door with a warm smile. "Hi Lyla-nice to see you again. And you must be Kate. Gemma called and said you were coming. I look after Abel; name's Neeta."

She reached out and grasped Kate's hand firmly in hers. "Come on in; Abel's takin' a nap right now but he should be up shortly. Feel free to do whatever you ladies need to do."

She gestured for them to come inside and Lyla happily obliged, touching Neeta's arm as she passed. Kate stepped carefully through the entryway with Jake tucked closely at her side. Jake immediately went about his inspections and after quickly picking on Jax's scent, went from room to room in search of him. As she took a quick survey around the house, she quickly found that the outside seemed to match the inside. Clean, homey, inviting even…if not for a few toys strewn haphazardly around the expansive living room. It was the type of environment one would expect for any typical family, except that the family that lived here was anything but typical.

"Come on," Lyla was saying to her. "The spare bedroom's over here. I was thinking we could decide on your outfit for tonight and then I could do your hair and makeup if you want…"

Lyla was staring up at her with wide, hopeful eyes and there was no way Kate could possibly say no, even if she wanted to. Her sincerity was clear and it seemed to go beyond just wanting to help her get ready for Jax's birthday party. It reminded her of the times she'd spent with her long-lost friends from college who were all scattered about living their own lives. She'd accepted these lost friendships as payment for her store and her independence, but then again, where exactly had that gotten her? She was quickly realizing how much she'd missed being surrounded by her friends, chatting about the trouble they were going to get in that night, the boys they were going to flirt with, and when the deep stuff happened, like her mother's demise, they had been there for that too. Life had been so simple then and she was missing that support system now more than ever. The silent plea in Lyla's eyes seemed to match what she was feeling.

"Ok," she answered finally. "I can't promise I brought anything that will work but it's worth a try."

Lyla swatted a hand in the air with a happy grin. "Nah…it'll be fine. It's not like you have to make yourself up to look like a crow-eater because that's certainly not what you are. Speaking of which, what did Gemma tell you to do exactly?"

"The only thing she really said was to keep my hands on Jax at all times to keep those 'skanky' crow-eaters away as Gemma put it," she replied easily as Lyla took her overnight bag from her hands and promptly set it on the bed to search through. "And that the only thing I needed to change about myself is my attitude. That was pretty much it."

Lyla snorted a little and turned back to her. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"Is that really it though? I mean it seems like there should be more to it that…" Kate trailed off in thought.

Lyla just shrugged. "No, she's right. You still need to be yourself and look like yourself and maybe she's saying that you just need to go into this with a different mind-set."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I guess it's different for me because Ope isn't exactly the VP but you have to show up at all these events, I mean really show up. You can't hide behind Jax the whole time because then they'll think he's free game. You have to show everyone you can hold your own—and that you're not afraid to do it. I suppose you can't really do that if you've got a mental block about being an old lady."

Kate nodded slowly as she absorbed all this new information. At least Lyla was upfront about everything; Gemma had been way too vague and distanced for her to really get a handle on what was going to be expected from her for the next few months.

She sighed and ran a hand through her long, slightly tangled hair. "Maybe you're right; maybe I do have a mental block about this…it's just that…being an 'old lady' wasn't exactly on my list of things to do, you know what I mean? I guess I just never anticipated I'd ever be in this position."

"It can't hurt that you're Jax's fake old lady right, though?" Lyla cocked an eyebrow at her with a sly smile.

Kate rolled her eyes. "It doesn't matter who; fake is fake, right?"

"Sure it is."

Lyla promptly turned back to the bed and then held up a simple black tank with a thin line of lace along the top. She vaguely remembered throwing it into her bag before they'd deserted her store and crunched up her nose.

"I don't know…I usually wear that under things…"

"Oh come on; this is perfect! You have to show a little bit of skin; besides, it wouldn't hurt to show everyone how hot you are." Lyla laughed as she tossed the tank top over to her.

"If you say so." She sighed dejectedly. The tank top by itself was cute and the tiny bit of lace was a little sexy, which was something she'd always liked about that particular top but she'd never worn it completely on its own before.

After she squeezed herself into the top, Lyla led her to the bathroom and sat her down on the toilet, taking Kate's makeup bag with her.

"Now, I'm not gonna do too much, I promise. I just want to enhance what you've already got—that's it. It won't take much."

Kate nodded and remained still as Lyla went to work on her makeup first while she waited for the curling iron to heat up. There was something about this that, again, felt very normal. It was like they were too old friends who were simply getting ready for a girls' night out. Only they had just met and their meeting was purely circumstantial above anything else. They weren't old friends and this wasn't going to be a girls' night out.

"You know, Kate," Lyla interrupted her thoughts quietly. "If you ever need anything, even if it's just to talk…even though I know we don't know each other very well and despite my…career…I really hope that we can be friends. I mean, I know you're going to feel a certain way about what I do for a living, it's just that…"

"Whoa…what makes you say that?"

Lyla paused mid-brush. "Well, I know how you felt about your mom and I just figured that…"

Kate sighed. "Things were complicated with her. It wasn't just her business; it was everything else too."

She couldn't go into the details of it, at least not yet; even though part of her really wanted to clear Lyla's conscience, she just couldn't bring herself to openly discuss her relationship with her mother. Not even her old therapist.

"Look," she continued, sensing Lyla's growing discomfort. "Please don't think anything about me and my mom has anything to do with you. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate all this," she gestured to her face. "It really means a lot. And I doubt Gemma would've done this for me."

Lyla laughed. "Yeah, I don't see Gemma doing anybody's makeup anytime soon."

"Has she always been this way? I mean, I don't really remember seeing this side of her when I was younger. She doesn't seem hostile towards you."

"Well, I'm also not the old lady of her only son."

Kate shrugged. "So, I'm not really his old lady, remember?"

"Well, right, but Mama Gemma is pretty protective of what's hers and you're stepping on sensitive territory."

"Great." Kate muttered under her breath.

Lyla swatted at the air again. "Forget about that. Just do what you need to do. Here…you're all done; have a look."

She stood up on shaky legs and took a few cautious steps towards the mirror, her eyes widening a little at her reflection. Her eyes were smudged with dark kohl liner, her lashes reminded her of a thick black fan—and were far longer than she'd even realized—a little touch of pink blush on her cheeks, a hint of pink gloss on her lips, and her hair fell in soft curls down her back; what surprised her the most was how much she actually still looked like herself…just a little enhanced.

"So what do you think? I do good work, right?" Lyla asked excitedly, brushing a curl in place behind her.

Kate glanced at her reflection one more time before answering: "Yeah, it's kind of a miracle, actually. I can't remember the last time I looked like this."

"Well, it's about time! You look freakin' amazing!" Lyla smile widely, then frowned as she reached inside her back pocket. "Hold on a sec, Kate; Opie's callin' me."

She nodded as Lyla stepped out of the bathroom. She took a tiny step back from edge of the counter and surveyed her appearance one more time. Her makeup honestly wasn't all that different from any given night she'd been out with her friends in college; in fact, it was probably a little more subtle, if not mature. She looked like she could be an old lady with her adult make-up and come-hither tank top.

She sighed as she turned around to lean against the counter top with her head in her hands. Now, more than ever, she was beginning to realize just how important it was that she remember this feeling, that she remember what it's like to feel like herself, to look like herself. She couldn't lose that. She couldn't lose who she was during all this shit. She couldn't allow herself to get too wrapped up in what this situation was. She couldn't allow herself to even consider the possibly that it could be anything other than for show. She couldn't allow herself to get comfortable here in Jax's normal, cozy house because that just wasn't who she was or what she wanted. She needed to look the part but she couldn't afford to actually feel it.

With another sigh, she pushed herself off the counter and that was when she heard a little cough followed by a quiet wail. She poked her head out into the hallway to see if Neeta had responded. She waited a beat and then shrugged, sauntering stealthily out of the bathroom and heading towards the noises that seemed to grow a little bit louder with each step.

She gingerly cracked open the door and found Abel sitting in the middle of the room. She froze in place as his bright blue eyes, an obvious gift from his father, stared up at her for a few moments as he contemplated the intruder in his personal space. His brow crinkled slightly as he looked her up and down and then, finally, miraculously, he broke into a wide, gap-toothed grin.

"Hi," she started gently as she took a tiny step into the room, checking one more time to see if Neeta or Lyla were coming down the hallway.

"Hi," Abel replied, hugging a stuffed puppy to his chest, his head cocked to the side as he watched her with large eyes.

"My name is Kate." She breathed slowly and took a few steps closer before kneeling down to sit next to him.

"Hi, Tate." He smiled shyly.

"Did you have a good nap?"

He nodded with a wide grin and pushed his puppy towards her for her to see.

"Who's this?" She laughed with relief. He was the most adorable kid she'd ever seen. And they were getting along.

"My puppy."

"You like puppies?" She asked with a smile.

He nodded again and scooted a little bit closer to her.

"Did you see my puppy?"

He shook his head with another shy smile and bit his lip with a tiny giggle. "Puppy!"

"Do you want to see him? His name is Jake…he's a really good puppy."

He nodded and immediately dropped his stuffed puppy to the carpet as he reached over to her with both arms. She hesitated for a moment; she wasn't used to being around kids, especially such young ones and she didn't immediately know what he wanted or expected from her. But he shook his arms at her as if to say, "come on, I'm waiting over here," and she got the hint.

She stood on slightly shaky legs and then, with a quick exhale for strength, she bent to gather Jax's son into her arms. When he was securely hitched on her hip, they stared at each other for a moment. As she took in his large, sky-blue eyes, chubby cheeks, and wispy blonde hair she felt an unfamiliar pull on her heart that tied a huge knot in her stomach. Her hands were shaking a little and for a second, she worried that she might drop him. He was watching her with a curious expression, those large, wide eyes so immediately accepting of her into his room, into his life and she felt like she could almost cry. He was as close to perfection as anything could get and the longer he was in her arms, the harder it was going to be to let go.

"Puppy…" he reminded her softly and she nodded with a small smile, padding lightly into the hallway to find Jake.

Abel spotted him before she did and squealed with delight, prompting Lyla, who was still on the phone, and Neeta poke their heads out to see what was going on. Kate motioned towards the patio door with her head and both women nodded in understanding with wide smiles on their faces.

She pushed the patio door open to let Jake go bounding through with Abel still in her arms, his tiny arms wrapped tightly around her neck. Jake pranced happily around the yard and then Abel was struggling out of her arms. She carefully set him down after she reached the yard and then he high-tailed it across the grass to chase down Jake. Abel scooted after Jake on slightly wobbly legs, laughing his head off with that toothy grin that was quickly staking claim over her heart.

* * *

><p>Jax pulled his bike up in his driveway and parked it right next to Kate's Rav-4. The second both feet where on solid ground, he could feel the tension coursing through his veins begin to dissipate. It was bad enough that he'd easily just had one of the worst days he'd ever had in a long time and it definitely didn't help that the day wasn't even close to being finished yet. He would have to sit through a 'family' dinner and then go through the motions at the party later that night; he didn't even care anymore that it was his birthday nor did he feel like getting ripped either. He just wanted to pass out in his bed with his son under his arm.<p>

It didn't help that he was still on edge over the day's events. He'd seen Kate with a knife to her throat, gotten entangled in a Mayan smack-down, and had barely contained his rage about the entire situation at church. The last thing he needed was more questions and more people breathing down his neck. It was going to be all he could do to keep Kate in one piece. Everything else, including Clay, could wait until she was safe. As soon as she was back in her store, with no sign of motorcycles near her and back to her easy, complication-free life with Jake at her side, then he could pound Clay into the ground for all of the mistakes he'd laid at the women of Samcro's feet.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before lighting up a cigarette. He hated how much he'd been smoking lately but he couldn't help it. It was practically a knee-jerk reaction by now. The stress was beginning to get to him and everything just felt so heavy, his arms, his head, his legs, everything. Part of him wanted to crumble onto his front yard right where he stood and just breathe normally again. He just wanted to close his eyes, if only for a few minutes and forget everything that was tearing him to pieces.

He almost did too but then he heard his son's elated laughter floating through the air and he smiled. If he couldn't crumble with Abel, then he would easily settle for playing with him. He heard a dog barking and an even wider grin slid onto his face as he could already picture the fun Abel and Jake were bound to have together. Abel was obsessed with dogs and had already been pleading for one; Jax knew if he wasn't careful, Grandma Gemma was going to oblige that request for Christmas. Maybe being around Jake would be enough for now.

He decided to put the pack of cigarettes back into his pocket, opting for the more healthy stress reliever instead, and jogged up the front steps to throw open the door. He glanced around lazily for Neeta and tossed his sunglasses and cut on the couch; he'd barely had a second to exhale when he heard Abel screech again followed by Jake's joyful barking. With a wide grin, he sauntered over to the patio door and reached out to grasp the handle when his hand froze in mid-air.

He had been fully expecting to see his son and Kate's dog running around his backyard but what he had not anticipated was seeing Kate out there with them. As Abel awkwardly attempted to throw a ball as far as he could and Jake happily lunged only several feet to snatch it back up to lay at Abel's feet, Kate was sitting cross-legged on the grass next them, her head tilted back as she laughed at the sight before her. She seemed to have a rare glow as she laughed and smiled as her dog and his son leaped around her. And he couldn't move. He couldn't tear his eyes away.

Abel tripped a little and tumbled to the grass, mid-throw. He pushed himself up and immediately looked around for Kate, who was already on her feet and reaching out to him. Jax watched, completely enthralled, as a whimpering Abel held up his arms and Kate leaned over to scoop him up. She rested a hand underneath his head and settled back down to the grass as Jake padded over to them with a tennis ball in his mouth. He dropped the slimy ball into Abel's lap, making him yelp out for joy, the fall long forgotten. As Abel shifted around in Kate's arms to nestle his head into her neck, Jax felt his heart shudder in his chest. He swallowed the lump in his throat but he still couldn't shift his eyes anywhere but on this woman holding his son. It was an arresting sight and he didn't exactly understand why it was affecting him this way.

If he could spend the rest of the day watching Kate, Abel, and Jake play in his back yard…well, that would be a pretty damn good birthday.

"Well, Abel's having the time of his life."

Jax jumped a little and shifted to see Lyla behind him with a warm smile playing on her lips. She took a few more steps until she was standing next to him by the patio door.

"Yeah, he sure is." Jax replied shakily and ran a hand through his hair in a weak attempt at getting his bearings back.

"She's good with him, isn't she?"

He couldn't look at her as he nodded. He still couldn't really look away from the trio in his yard.

"I like her," Lyla was saying now.

He nodded again, the heavy lump in his throat impeding on his ability to speak.

"She'd be good for you, Jax." Lyla stated softly, her head tilting to the side as she observed him.

He finally turned to her, a weary, conflicted look in his eyes. "Lyla…"

She immediately held her hands up in defense and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I'm just callin' it like I see it, Jax."

He shrugged and bit his lip in slight frustration. He didn't like where this was going but Lyla was too much like a sister to him and he didn't have the energy to tell her she was overstepping.

"She'd be good for you, Jax." She started again.

He tilted his head back and blew out a breath. "That doesn't matter, Lyla. You know that."

"So what?" She shrugged.

"I'm not sure why we're talkin' about this right now."

"Because you and I never get much of a chance to talk…and if I don't say it to you, who will?"

He sighed again and rubbed his face with his hands. "I don't want to talk right now."

"Alright…tough shit. What's keeping you in here when you should be out there?"

"I don't see how any of this is connected."

"I'll say it again, Jax," she said with a frustrated huff. "She'd be good for you. We both know she'd be good for Abel. You can tell me this is all for show until you're blue in the face but I saw the look on your face just now when you were watching them and I've seen the look on her face whenever your name comes up. It's obvious to me and probably everyone else who's ever seen you two together. So what's holding you back?"

His hands went to his face again and he could barely bring himself to meet her in the eye. "I told you…"

"Tell me the truth, Jax."

His hands ran through his hair and he blew out another frustrated breath. He knew he needed to give her an answer; she wasn't going to leave him alone until she did. But he just couldn't speak the words. Yes, she'd be good for him. Yes, she'd be good for Abel. Yes, they could be a happy family. She was everything he'd ever wanted…smart, beautiful, tough as nails, independent…and he couldn't yet put into words the way he'd felt when he'd seen her with Abel. She would be good for him. But she was too good. And he wasn't good for her. He'd brought nothing but complications, turmoil, danger, frustration, and pain into her life. She was perfect just the way she was and who was he to come into her life and turn it into a train wreck? All he wanted was to see her happy and alive. She couldn't be anywhere near Samcro in order for that to happen. If he could manage to get her away from the club in one piece, then that would be enough for him. But he couldn't say that to Lyla. If he could barely admit it to himself, he certainly wasn't going to admit it to her.

She sighed next to him and her hand fell back to her side. "Alright, fine. Be that way, Jax."

He didn't turn as she left him in huff. He knew this wouldn't be the last time they'd have that conversation but he was glad it was over for at least the time being. As his eyes flitted back to the figures in his back yard, Abel caught sight of him and started waving.

"Daddy!" His son's little voice called out to him as he wiggled himself out of Kate's arms to race towards the patio, Jake bounding at his side.

Even though Abel and Jake were already headed straight for him, Jax still hesitated, the uncomfortable conversation with Lyla still ringing in his ears. He could just open the patio door to let Abel and Jake inside and keep some distance between Kate and himself. It would be very easy and she probably wouldn't think anything of it. But then Kate turned around and he felt a jolt of electricity flow straight through him as their eyes met. His mind went completely blank.

She smiled softly and his heart flip-flopped in his stomach. He was quickly running out of time to decide as Abel and Jake drew closer and closer. But he couldn't think. All he could see was the way the light seemed to radiate over her, the way her eyes were shining, and that she was looking at him. So he just closed his eyes, blew out a breath, and allowed instinct and impulse to take over. Before he could stop himself, he reached out, slid the patio door open and stepped out into the sun as his son leapt into his arms.

"Hi Daddy!" Abel grinned and tugged a little on his overly-long hair.

"What's up, little man? You having fun out here?"

Abel nodded and grinned widely, exposing the large gaps in his mouth and Jax had to laugh. "Playing with Jate and Tate!"

He chuckled at Abel's entertaining mispronunciations—he was having difficulty pronouncing his 'Ks' after all—and gripped him a little tighter as he mustered up the courage to leave the patio.

And even though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer, he had to ask anyways: "Do you like Kate?"

Abel nodded furiously and grinned again. "Tate's pretty."

"Yeah, she is, little man." he responded quietly.

With a deep breath, he stepped off the patio and started moving across the yard to close the distance between Kate and himself. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest and he almost turned around to flee back to the safety of his living room. But then his eyes found Kate's again and his heart almost skidded to stop when he realized that she was moving towards them. And then there was no stopping his feet from carrying both him and his son to the middle of the yard to meet her.

"Just between you and me, little man," Jax whispered into Abel's ear. "I think I'm in big trouble."

Abel just giggled and wrapped his tiny arms more tightly around him, as if he already knew.

* * *

><p><strong>AN-**Sorry again for the long gap between updates...real life always seems to take over. But this chapter definitely took on a life of its own and ended up going somewhere that I hadn't planned on going yet but I'm really happy with the end result. A couple of really important things happened and I think it moves the story along in a big way...and I would love to hear your feedback! R/R!


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